[LasTins]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time

for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!


JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he

recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the

chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little

chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified

to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country

gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't

about me.......


DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize

that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before

it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we

need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on

his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is

why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken

learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to

give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not

live his life like the rest of the chickens.


GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the

road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or

not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle

ground here.


COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the

satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...


ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a

chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other

side of the road.


JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am

now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about

the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.


NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY!

You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.


PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that

chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to

sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird

gave me any insider information.


DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.


JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see

the plain truth? That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends

that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.

I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the

liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the

other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain

and as simple as that.


GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.

Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good

enough.


BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will

be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story

of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish

its life long dream of crossing the road.


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads

together, in peace.


BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only

cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance

your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This

new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........

reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road

move beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken!...... What

is your definition of chicken?


AL GORE: I invented the chicken!


COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


**** CHENEY: Where's my gun?


AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?...... We need some

black chickens!

[Erexecike]

Haha, some really good ones there. Thanks for posting this.

[Baromaro]

i liked the grandpa one best

[encumeterz]

i dont know who half of those people are, and for the rest i guess i dont know enough about them to see why they are funny.

[ThisIsOK]

i dont know who half of those people are, and for the rest i guess i dont know enough about them to see why they are funny.

The Nancy Grace, Anderson Cooper, Operah, and Dr.Phil are the best ones because they Always say those statements about every damn subject/event/guest...... hahahaha

[mireOpekrhype]

LMAO. At the jokes, and at the swear filter's disapproval of Cheney.

[yahyynzer]

Very clever. [rofl]

Thanks for posting.