[UBJ3kvP1]

Thanks for your honesty, Snoop. What you describe could be the case. Again, I'll just wait until she comes back to work next month and see how things go. I'm not expecting much to happen, that way my expectations will be kept low and disappointment will be down to a minimum.

[Britiobby]

Lol I found the peanuts part hilarious, if she laughed at that, in my case, I would say you're gold and need to bust out more jokes, but not too much but just the right amount. anyways what did I tell you about mini golf [yes]

[AlabamaBoyz]

Some girls are just like that though...
My ex wanted to pay for her own stuff when we went on our date and she insisted that if i bought 1st then she'd buy whatever 2nd.

Even when we were going out it was the same....

Maybe she's just happy paying for her own ****
Plus...if i liked someone i wouldnt actually want them buying me ****..


Girls are weird though.

[Britiobby]

Some girls are just like that though...
My ex wanted to pay for her own stuff when we went on our date and she insisted that if i bought 1st then she'd buy whatever 2nd.

Even when we were going out it was the same....

Maybe she's just happy paying for her own ****
Plus...if i liked someone i wouldnt actually want them buying me ****..


Girls are weird though.

I always make the girl order first and when she thinks she's about to pay for it I just hand my card to the cashier. somtimes they bitch and try to give me money back its easy to decline and move onto another subject, once I actually had a ex grab the card from the cashier and yell at him and me and made a whole scene, I let that bitch pay for herself.

[UBJ3kvP1]

Yes, I never understand women (obviously), but how come they are so hesitant to have a man pay? I have even heard that women expect a man to pay, but they'll insist that they can pay for themselves just to be polite. HUH??? So here they are, EXPECTING you to pay, but telling you not to pay for them. So when you LISTEN to them and NOT pay, then they see you as cheap because you LISTENED to them. Anyone see the confusion and conflict here? And then it gets more confusing because nowadays some women don't want the man to pay for them because it takes away their independence or makes them feel cheap, or maybe in my case, they don't want me to feel like they owe me something or get the wrong idea. It's hard deciphering their cryptic actions and codes!

[Britiobby]

Yes, I never understand women (obviously), but how come they are so hesitant to have a man pay? I have even heard that women expect a man to pay, but they'll insist that they can pay for themselves just to be polite. HUH??? So here they are, EXPECTING you to pay, but telling you not to pay for them. So when you LISTEN to them and NOT pay, then they see you as cheap because you LISTENED to them. Anyone see the confusion and conflict here? And then it gets more confusing because nowadays some women don't want the man to pay for them because it takes away their independence or makes them feel cheap, or maybe in my case, they don't want me to feel like they owe me something or get the wrong idea. It's hard deciphering their cryptic actions and codes!

That my friend is why all men love fast cars. [thumbup]

[Efksqhyu]

That my friend is why all men love fast cars. [thumbup]

No, that's why we love computers.

You can cuss at them, kick them, call them dirty names, tell it what to do, look at another computer, hell, PLAY with another computer, and at the end of the day, it still does want you want without any bitching.

[sitescools]

1. Nothing wrong with taking a girl for coffee... if you are worried you might not come across as spontaneous enough then you are already reading too hard into it, and that will show. A coffee or chocolate cafe is a very neutral location that caters lightly to the social tastes of the both of you. If you think that it's boring and that you will be just like everyone else by doing this then you have got it all wrong. It may be common, but it's a safe bet and will allow the both of you to engage one another on safe and comfortable ground. The worst thing you can do is take her somewhere totally bizarre before you've gotten to know her. You risk coming across as too overwhelming (i.e. you might like bowling and go crazy for it, but she might not, and if so she will be less open with you in such social arenas). Sure, be spontaneous with her, but wait until you understand her a little better first.

2. Do not ask her how she feels about you... I can tell you how she feels about you: she’s interested! That's all you need to know to do your thing!

3. Don't doubt the signals you are given. Even if you have to blindly accept them as propositions. Confidence comes with your ability to act positively upon a situation when it comes to establishing a relationship. Weakness is the obvious mishandling of such signals. Basically, it's better to assume that an interest is there rather than assume it is not. That way, if she was not 100%, your pro-active approach will light a spark or two. Or she will become aware you are a confident person and in the event that she wishes to inform you she is not as interested as you assumed, you will have still come across as a nice, confident guy she can remain friends with… rather than a bumbling idiot who only talks to her because he wants to get into her pants.

4. If you want, tell her how you feel about her, as early as when you first go out somewhere... if you are merely interested in her because she is interested in you, then you can forget about it... it will show and it is not nice being on the other and of it. But if you are genuinely interested in her, say so.

5. Life is short... if you get nowhere after a few outings, and she's playing you like a fiddle, cut the lines and move on. Life is too short to spend time waiting for a girl to decide what she wants out of you... it's wasteful and insulting to anyone with self respect.

6. For all those folks on the board who ALWAYS reply to these posts with crap along the lines of "yeah man, take her from behind, she want's it!" ...get a frikken life. ...you're not cool.

[UBJ3kvP1]

Thanks for your in-depth tip, cubase!

I did want to choose something quite neutral and "normal", like coffee because that gives me a chance to get to know her, as well as for her to get to know me without putting any weird pressure on her. Like you mentioned, if I were to take her bowling all of a sudden then that would be awkward! We did sit down and had a nice 45-60 minute conversation about politics, family, and children so I take that as a good sign that we have at least common things to discuss as two people. Come to think of it, that is weird talking about these kind of things ...

I won't be asking her how she feels about me, but like you said, if the time seems right and all, I'll let her know she's a great gal and that I'm interested in her.

So all these tips from forum members that I'm getting about doing her from behind aren't true??!??!? OH NOESSSS!!

[Nadin Maison]

As an aside, if the date/coffee whatever goes well, I generally'll pay for both - if the girl objects, I'll just tell her she can pay for the second date. Even if it didn't go so well, it'll usually get you a second chance.

[brulpcoersero]

All I have to say is not to wait too long before you make your intentions clear, you don't want to end up on the wrong ladder.

[UBJ3kvP1]

ha! Assuming there is a next time. But yeah, this is a sneaky way for you to get to go out with her again because she may obligated to treat you.

I have read about the ladder theory and it makes sense. I just have to hurry up and get myself on the correct ladder!

[JohnMaltczevitch]

All I have to say is not to wait too long before you make your intentions clear, you don't want to end up on the wrong ladder.

YES! someone else who understands and appreciates the intricacies of the Ladder.

and to the OP: I get cookies baked for me all the time by girls. I must be a sexy beast then if that means anything more than "thanks".

[Irrampbroow]

Dont do a "lunch" date, that shows that you just want to be "friends" or have a "proffessional" relationship. Take her out to a bar! you both need to get drunk so that your defenses drop away and you can take advantage of each other....

If this works and she brings you cookies again, marry her!!

[UBJ3kvP1]

Well, I'll think about marriage later, but right now I have to think about the simple objective of getting her. I'll skip the "lunch date" idea, assuming I get an opportunity to ask her out again.

Yes, I hope she brings me cookies again since I like cookies. Also, she is not 21 yet so we cannot go drinking at bars yet, otherwise I would totally take her out. I am 26, by the way. Rest assured, she is legal... BARELY!

[hoconnor6605]

she brought me some cookies to thank me.

[UBJ3kvP1]

Yeah, cause she knocked me out with those cookies and then had her ways with me! Oh nooeees!

[WhiliaStelt]

[Nadin Maison]

Dont do a "lunch" date, that shows that you just want to be "friends" or have a "proffessional" relationship. Take her out to a bar! you both need to get drunk so that your defenses drop away and you can take advantage of each other....

If this works and she brings you cookies again, marry her!!

Wuss.
Just ask her back to your place for breakfast - yeah, right! (Kiwis'll get that one)

[UBJ3kvP1]

There's this temp worker at my work. She mentioned her laptop was broken so I offered to fix it. She insisted that it was too much for me, but I told her to bring it in. So while I was troubleshooting it during work, we just sat around and talked for about 2 hours. Unfortunately I couldn't fix it and it was like 6:30PM, way past closing time, so I told her to bring it back the next day.

The next day she brings her laptop and again, we chit chat for another hour and not get any work done, but this time I was able to fix her laptop. She gets really happy and the next day she brought me some cookies to thank me. Does this seem normal? Does she dig me, or is she just thankful that I fixed her computer problems?