[sjdflghd]

Originally posted by Dr Zoidberg
I just love stereotyping, mostly because there´s always an element of truth in it. Huh?

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum 8 inches from the trunk.

ya mean trunk of my car or my sisters car that is broke down yonder?


2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO?

I aint got no blocks since my trailer got repossed, my Uncle done took um with him to his still



3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?

will a couple outhouses work instead of radiators? My Uncle took my Block that i had in my front yard and put them under the end of the outhouse to make im teeter to one side


4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tallboys will it take to cut the trees?

well, my teecher don tolt me I was as dense as dey come. Umm..look if them Budweisers say they are tallboys dey lieying, dem are just short old men, look, they as toothless as my momma

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?

whats a firdgerater do anyway? R-12..no R is 32 but my youngest sister is gunna be 12 next spriong..and mah daddy sed we couldnt do that wit one nother no moe

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor s 1 inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

da pan is 8 feet? Wow dats sho nuff biggun now aint it!

Duke got kilt? (sobbing) he wuz like a brudder fer me a secont daddy...

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of the children place a mobile home on the man's land?

ughh..do all them live in Tennessee? 'cause I nowed one fella had a job wiff da railrud and he had kids all up and down da line..sew u saying he has kids, all of em rhis?

did they marry one another of did they have kids fursta and then get hitched up?

The kids with the sloped hed, now thats not nice to make fun of em, ah mean i guts 3 sister with sloped heads from dem keep banging on the bottom of the steering wheel to da welfer mans pickup truck when he come around to see ifin we qualifi dis month or knot

8. A 2-ton pulpwood truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep grade on a secondary road at 45 mph. The brakes fail. Given the average traffic loading of secondary roads, what are the chances that it will strike a vehicle that has a muffler?

we ent gut no 900 yards, leem thimk..der ist Willie Bobbkins den Raefurd Hardin den dat crowd with all der teef ..nope..we only gut 8..ah just dun counted em up and yup I dun been to da grade school so eye du no how ta count. Traffic loading..we aint got but one car and its a pickup and uncle fester he only lets yunguns with purty mouffs ride with him..whats a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
silly da doc he dun operahtid and no miner can do whut he dun ded, nope. Gas warnin? My daddy done tolt me let er rip..better ta bear da shame then bear da pain,,opluz its lots mo funny when ya dont give no warnin..makes eveyone kinda squint rel hard..(snicker snikceh)

we dunt have no camels here mistuh plus we only smopke hogs in the barn..umm..you aint nop -olice r ya, 'cause we smoke a little sumpin sumpin else out back too (wink-wink)

10. At a reduction in gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the interstate to breed a country-western singer? Gene got him a pool? dat rascal..he tolt me he didnt have no crawfish to get and he owes me sum from last year!

I dun breed no singers or nuttin like that, 'course miss elsie, our cow, well she just like it when we come visitin real 'precaitive like
(harddee har har)

/me wanders around, kicking a can hopin he passes

[Fiesialenp]

Grandpa, you got some redneck in you boy?


Originally posted by Dr Zoidberg
I just love stereotyping, mostly because there´s always an element of truth in it.


Huh? tr.v. ster·e·o·typed, ster·e·o·typ·ing, ster·e·o·types

To characterize by a stereotype: "Elderly Americans are the neglected sector of the fashion industry, stereotyped by blue hair and polyester pantsuits”

[Saad Khan]

2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? 66 Ford Fairlane, 69 Chevrolet Chevelle, 64 Pontiac GTO? Come on. Is this a trick question? It's obviously the Ford Fairlane.

[mGUuZRyA]

Ya from Down East eh?

[TypeTeasiaDer]

Originally posted by Barinthus
Ya from Down East eh? Washinton County Maine now southerastern North Carolina

[wbondarmunw]

Norwegian math quiz (translation: Task: Find X. Answer: It's here!)

[spamkillerj]

oh how much trouble I'd get in if I posted an engineering exam for black people or hispanics.

That's okay. The joke community needs a group of people we can make fun of without getting in trouble for it.

[scoussysows]

Originally posted by Dis
oh how much trouble I'd get in if I posted an engineering exam for black people or hispanics.

That's okay. The joke community needs a group of people we can make fun of without getting in trouble for it. Post an engineering exam for gangsta's then.