[TiepayWrary]

I was reading a book recently, a fictional story about a person becoming a wise man, and his journey towards that.
Somewhere in the story he is learning martial arts from a most amazing monk, the monk is always filled with energy and always filled with strength.
The man knows he does not have that amount of energy and he turns to his kind of god and asks: "Please dear god, fill me with your loving energy" and after a moment his god replies "I fill you with my energy each and every day, but you keep leaking".

And this brought a question to my mind. What makes us leak energy?
And more importantly, what makes us stop leaking energy?

[SappyAppy]

I think it's a matter of personal power and boundaries. Search that on the forum. There are several wonderful posts about it. But when we are not strong in where we stand, each person or situation takes a little of our esteem, our self,and therefore our energy leaks away.

[SinyugiN]

MG is totally correct! We "give" our energy to people by having weak boundaries. By allowing others to affect us, thus allowing ourselves to put energy into that situation when we need to just let go.

We put energy into the past, hoping somehow it will change. We put energy into negative emotions and it never grows, it fades out.

[ChrisGoldstein]

Oh girls, I am so guilty of this!! I am trying to learn not to be so reactionary!!! Its hard when certain people can overstep boundaries and be insulting. Hard to keep a cool head when someone is attacking you.

I guess I have to make clear boundaries in a calm way, and then if they proceed to breach these boundaries, then put the shutters up!!! They then learn their behaviour has consequences, and I just dont keep taking it and become a victim.

I just dont want to be around people that are constantly criticizing everyone and think everyone should do as they say.

A work in progress!!

kind regards
cazmayo

[SinyugiN]

We all are Caz Every single day !

Even I can fall into the trap of reacting when something hits a nerve. Most of the time the words are on the post or out of my mouth before I've given ample time to my brain to say "What in the heck are you thinking!?"

Ego plays a huge role in our defensive system. That balance has to be worked on daily lest it gets out of hand

[osteoftex]

I think it's a matter of personal power and boundaries. Search that on the forum. There are several wonderful posts about it. But when we are not strong in where we stand, each person or situation takes a little of our esteem, our self,and therefore our energy leaks away.

Totally agree.

Haha Caz, I think it's a human thing - all of us react badly to things occasionally. I know I do and I'm still learning to turn every negative thing anyone says/does into a positive and try not to let my emotions take over

[TiepayWrary]

I had to think on this for a while, because I am most certainly one of those people that lets others overstep boundaries all the time. Its often difficult for me to see where exactly I should draw the line.
But I think I am slowly getting a bit better at it. I`m going to observe what exactly I do when people overstep boundaries, to understand it better.
I think I usually do not notice it because I`m so busy being unsure, nervous, polite and trying to be good enough. And then later on, when I go home or sit on the couch in the evening.. then the frustration suddenly comes up.

So it seems my first instinct is to push questions/feelings about 'is it ok that he/she does this?' away completely, and then later that day or week they come up again.

[SinyugiN]

BB, practice saying no to little things. Even looking in the mirror, pretending that it's someone you know and they just asked you to go on a double date with them or something. Practice what you would say in the mirror.

Habits take time to form. Boundaries are not much different. Getting into good boundary habits and practicing will make it easier when you feel uncomfortable.

[viagracheapest]

There are many technuiqes for reenergizing and stopping the loss of energy. I'm very fond of visualization for reenergizing. The Internet Is filled with lots of great information on it.