[kuklame]

my swing is a joke

[tretcheenia]

my swing is a joke

Sounds like someone told us the same joke Shanky! hehe

[TyncTyncSah]

Do you know any good golf jokes? I know one and here it is:

I broke 80 today. That's a lot of clubs.

[Shark&Nike]

Golfer: "This is the worst golf course I ever played."
Caddie: "This isn't the golf course, sir! We left that over an hour ago"



Golfer: "Well, I've never played this badly before"
Caddie: "I didn't realize that you had played before, sir"



Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It is annoying."
Caddie: "This isn't a watch, sir. It is a compass."

[glagoliska]

I'm not 100% sure, but I believe Jr. Lancer is a 12 year old girl so G rated jokes would probably work best here.

[toreesi]

I'm not 100% sure, but I believe Jr. Lancer is a 12 year old girl so G rated jokes would probably work best here.

Bingo. Jr. Lancer belongs to me.

I have a golf joke for you Jr. Lancer. Your mother's chipping.

Don't tell her I said that.

Kevin

[Vipvlad]

One more bad shot will drive me crazy.

You don't need a drive - a short putt will do it.


(My father likes to say that to me.)

[tooratrack]

My last tee shot was pretty much a joke!

[aceriscoolon]

A guy has flown over to play the Old Course and he is really playing poorly. He is hitting the ball all over the place and must be at 100 for the front nine.

He turns to his caddy and says, "You must be the worst caddy on earth."

To which the caddy replies, "That, sir, would be too much of a coincidence."

[Foriaelalse]

One more bad shot will drive me crazy.

You don't need a drive - a short putt will do it.


(My father likes to say that to me.)

When my ex-wife told me the kids were driving her crazy, I replied that it would be a very short trip.

I wonder why she's an ex?

[jhfsdhf]

While playing Pebble Beach the golfer ask his caddy if he thought he could reach the green with his 7 iron. His caddy replied "eventually".

[wmirkru]

Bingo. Jr. Lancer belongs to me.

I have a golf joke for you Jr. Lancer. Your mother's chipping.

Don't tell her I said that.

Kevin

Yes though your game was so bad this year that you have to have your ball retriever regripped.

Great jokes everyone they are really funny!

[Siuchingach]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

[zlopikanikanz]

I heard one about tiger woods this morning at work.....Tiger woods is better driving in the fairway then he is the drive way!

[Trientoriciom]

A kid and his grandfather go out to play on the golf course. (The kid is playing the grandfather is just watching). So the kid comes to the hardest hole on the course and hits a short drive but down the center. When he gets to the ball there is a huge tree right between the kid and the green. The Grandfather says to the kid "When I was your age I could take my shot right over that tree." The kid thinks that because the grandfather once could take it over the large tree so could he. When he tries he fails miserably and the ball gets caught in the tree. Then the grandpa says "but when I was your age that tree was a whole lot shorter."

[darieBarexish]

A kid and his grandfather go out to play on the golf course. (The kid is playing the grandfather is just watching). So the kid comes to the hardest hole on the course and hits a short drive but down the center. When he gets to the ball there is a huge tree right between the kid and the green. The Grandfather says to the kid "When I was your age I could take my shot right over that tree." The kid thinks that because the grandfather once could take it over the large tree so could he. When he tries he fails miserably and the ball gets caught in the tree. Then the grandpa says "but when I was your age that tree was a whole lot shorter."

i love that commercial

[AndreasLV]

Jesus and Moses are playing golf at Augusta one day. Jesus has hit a good drive on the 15th leaving himself about 210 yards to the green. He announces to Moses that when Tiger Woods was here in the Masters, he hit a 6 iron on the green, so Jesus was going to also hit a 6 iron. He swings and hits a great shot that is heading straight for the flag before falling, quite majestically, into the middle of the lake in front of the green. He turns to Moses and says "be a sport old chap and go get me my ball back would you?". Moses sets off down the hill, parts the waters, goes into the lake and picks up Jesus's ball. He walks back up to the top of the hill and hands Jesus his ball back saying "look, just hit a 4 iron like you need to". Jesus says "stand aside old man" before hitting his 6 iron again, with exactly the same result. Moses tells him this time he's going to have to go get the ball out himself. By now the group behind have caught up to them in the fairway. They watch as Jesus gets to the lake before walking out onto it. One of the shocked guys in the group behind says "who does he think he is? Jesus Christ?". Moses says "No, Tiger Woods".

[Wvq9InTM]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

I laughed so hard at this one. Classic!

[ttoothh]

Just a friendly reminder that this thread is part of the junior golf section. Nothing inappropriate on here at all, just making sure everybody knows.

[FrereeDoulley]

deleted due to prior use (above)