[soineeLom]

What are the best things said to you in a lesson ?

I used to see a Pro at Woburn England called Luther Blacklock. He was the best, funniest and most expensive Pro I've ever seen. He's the guy who invented the Explanar.

He would start your first lesson by showing you the difference between a draw and a fade, using a 7 iron and a golf ball but by throwing the ball up in the air and hitting it one handed like a tennis shot.

'You could bury the club cat in that' when you got one a bit fat.

'That'll land like a butterfly wearing Reeboks'

When you swung it too fast he would say 'Very nice, now could you calm it down to violent' or "Remember the sequence, backswing......downswing'

'We'll have to put an advert in the local newsagents window - Has anyone seen a backswing'

He was going bald and would demonstrate the relationship between hips & shoulders using a comb by twisting it so the top was at 90 degrees and the middle at 45...................'This time next year I'll be doing this with a sponge'

He also had the abilty to look at the backswing and know if you would hit a good shot. When you got to the top on a good swing he would say 'YES' just before you ripped it.

Top bloke Luther

[Thunderzee]

Pizza Pie and Hip Bump!! They work for me

[QXCharles]

Coach told my friend (who's a extremely short hitter) that his swing looks like a Ferrari without a engine. We were laughing so hard that to this day that's the only thing we can think of when we see him.

It helps that red is his color of choice to wear on the golf course hahahaha.

[Auzuigcx]

Those are great. I love the old English Pro. He's the bomb. Probably a great dude to drink beer with!

[ancexttew]

my instructor calls me Chuck a lot.... as in Charles Barkley. i think its pretty funny.

[regfortruegoo]

When I first started taking lessons, he told me that I needed to finish with my d!ck pointing at the target because I would not rotate my hips and my swing was all upper body.

[agiopwer]

Not from a pro, but a caddie at Royal Portrush would say "Goodnight Irene" whenever someone would hit a ball out of bounds. It was hilarious.

Unfortunately, he had a lot of chances to say "Goodnight Irene" during that round.

"Not your best, Laddie," was another one that was said quite often. At one point during the end of the round, my dad said, "Certainly by now you know that this IS my best."

[pesty4077]

My current coach calls me Whippy (My Fast Hips) and Speed Racer (I don't like doing half swings).

He also said my hip action was so bad that I would be terrible in bed. I would say what my GF's response was but I believe it's NSFW,

[ZZipZZipe]

Once had a buddy tell me "if you grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced" - awesome, it took my mind of the round entirely

[WebDocMan]

From my pro I hear, "What the f#ck was that?" a lot.

[regfortruegoo]

My current coach calls me Whippy (My Fast Hips) and Speed Racer (I don't like doing half swings).

He also said my hip action was so bad that I would be terrible in bed. I would say what my GF's response was but I believe it's NSFW,

She probably asked you why you are paying this guy so much money when she could have told you that for free... haha

[Auzuigcx]

LOL. Great stuff.

[Loonakind]

Once had a buddy tell me "if you grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced" - awesome, it took my mind of the round entirely

Haha this is very funny

[Auzuigcx]

My Pro always says: "Alright, let's get plugged in". Meaning: Swing it all back together.

First time I heard this, I wondered, how close our relationship really needed to be...

[pesty4077]

She probably asked you why you are paying this guy so much money when she could have told you that for free... haha

That's a low blow man.

[dxpfmP0l]

"It's your feet"....are they to far apart, to close together, toes in or out, what it is with my feet? "they don't belong on a d#mn golf course"

[amotoustict]

If I ever think I've done something only slightly wrong and then say it out loud all I will hear from behind would be "and if me aul aunt had balls she'd be me uncle, but she doesn't and what you said had nothing to do with what went wrong" he would then tell me what actually went wrong..

[Gromiaaborn]

my quiet, observant pro (buddy of mine) and i were on the range for the first 15 minutes of my lesson, and he stopped me mid swing to ask, "paulie wait bud....so, if you could pick up a few more spares, you'd be a 200 bowler...why not just stick with that?"

he knows i'm in a bowling league in winter lol

[JasminBerkova]

Mine told me to quit while I was ahead and go take up badminton or something like it.

[lerobudrse]

when playing a round with my teacher I crushed a drive, his response "that was longer than a life sentence" . He also would say "under the door" everytime I started going over the top.