[toopyimport]

I played golf one day with my grandpa and three of his buddies that he always plays golf with. From that one round I learned the following:

1. Whoever has the fastest cart never has a bad lie.
2. If you don't have a fast cart, that's fine. A foot wedge will cure anything.
3. There is no such thing as a water hazard or sand trap.
4. Any putt within 15' is "good" if you have ever made a putt from there before.
5. A quarter is a lot of money. Don't chance losing it. Only use pennies to mark
your ball.
6. If the rough is high, there are extra long tees to fix that.
7. Nobody should ever bend down to pick up a ball. That's why they make the
golf ball plunger to put on the grip end of the putter.
8. A ball retriever is considered a club. And if you can duct tape a 6' long pole
to the end of yours, you can reach further than everyone else over the
fence and get the golf balls they couldn't reach out of the yard on #12.
9. Yellow is the official color of golf balls.
10. A golf cart heater is made to be used year round because it's chilly at 6 am.

I'm ready to retire and become an "Old Man" golfer. I have never seen rounds of 113, 115, 118, 122 that turned into 81, 83, 86, and 90. I love it!

[Rexaviennatutr]

Hahahhahah this is awesome.
They sound like they are just loving life and the game, and that is just fine by me!

[strongjannabiz]

I played golf one day with my grandpa and three of his buddies that he always plays golf with. From that one round I learned the following:

1. Whoever has the fastest cart never has a bad lie.
2. If you don't have a fast cart, that's fine. A foot wedge will cure anything.
3. There is no such thing as a water hazard or sand trap.
4. Any putt within 15' is "good" if you have ever made a putt from there before.
5. A quarter is a lot of money. Don't chance losing it. Only use pennies to mark
your ball.
6. If the rough is high, there are extra long tees to fix that.
7. Nobody should ever bend down to pick up a ball. That's why they make the
golf ball plunger to put on the grip end of the putter.
8. A ball retriever is considered a club. And if you can duct tape a 6' long pole
to the end of yours, you can reach further than everyone else over the
fence and get the golf balls they couldn't reach out of the yard on #12.
9. Yellow is the official color of golf balls.
10. A golf cart heater is made to be used year round because it's chilly at 6 am.

I'm ready to retire and become an "Old Man" golfer. I have never seen rounds of 113, 115, 118, 122 that turned into 81, 83, 86, and 90. I love it!

If my brother in law were a few years older I would swear you had played with him

[Stovegeothnon]

+1 haha. I caddied in high school and there was this old man named Tommy who was just like that. He used to do stuff like help his buddy look for his ball and tell me to go on up and "see if my ball's ok" What that REALLY meant was "go fluff up my lie for me"

[toopyimport]

The best part about the day was I shot in the lower 70's and won somewhere between $1.50-$2. I told them to keep it and go split a beer.

[Auzuigcx]

Funny stuff- thanks for sharing!

Rep added.

[CKDIWEQ]

That is some funny stuff! I'm glad you shared that. At the local course I used to play, this is the truth!

[education]

Funny stuff!

Similar but different... Much too young to be a Grandpa and get away with what one could, we call one of my buddies, "G.I." No, he was never in the military. It's because the man had never, I mean never lost a golf ball. "GOT IT!!!" he'd shout from the woods, so G.I. was born.

When he finally asked what it meant, I didn't hesitate to tell him. Of course, he was offended, defended himself, then pouted a little. But on his very next trip into the woods, he actually came out empty handed.

Now we just call him, "Cheat."

[Poll Pitt]

You know with old people it seems its either one extreme or another. 2 old guys I play with in my Saturday league will freak out if they think you are even considering doing something against the rules and then 2 other ones have the gimme syndrome from 5 feet away.

[trubreTab]

i love playing with "some" of the older members
one guy hits the ball farther than he can see
another guy cant hear so you yell "great shot" once and then not talk to him until he asks you something or is actually looking straight at you
and the stories they tell are classic