[lasadeykar]

I’m in great need of psychological help. The game is driving me crazy, and I’m not quite sure if I’m kidding when I say that or not. I'm pretty sure I'm not.

First of all, I now people look my handicap and wonder what I would have anything to complain about. My low handicap is more a function of how much I play was opposed to how well. So far this year I’ve played 75 rounds (we live less than a mile from my home course and I have a very understanding wife). Because the system only counts your ten low rounds, I will have higher scores that aren’t used. For example, my last ten rounds were 79, 79, 84, 68, 71, 72, 74, 75, 82 & 72. When the new handicaps come out on the 1st they will throw out the high scores and only use the low. Right now my index is a 0.8, but I sure don’t feel like one. I’m just as capable of shooting an 80 as I am a 70, maybe even more so.

People with higher handicaps have told me how they'd be thrilled to shoot some of scores. I know that everything's relative, but I tell them that if they did shoot a 79 (or 69) they'd be thrilled for about a minute, and then they'd start thinking, "I can do even better." I guess the key is always trying to improve, but trying to enjoy the process as much (or more than) the outcome.

Here’s the crux of the problem. I get mad at myself for not being the player I feel I’m capable of being, and then I get mad at myself for getting mad at myself. My oldest son played competitive tennis, and though he was a good player we would sometimes have to get on him for his on court behavior. We would often tell him that he wasn’t good enough to get so mad at himself. What do they say about the apple not falling far from the tree?

It’s got the point where I’m having a hard time enjoying the game at any level. The fact is that I don’t really like golf for the sake of playing golf. I play with a good group of guys, but I’m not one of those who play for the camaraderie. I don’t enjoy playing golf; I enjoy playing golf well. For me there’s a huge difference between the two.

Last night during our walk I talked with my wife about giving up the game, or at least getting away from it for awhile. The game is not a pleasant diversion from the frustrations of life, but rather one it’s main contributors.

I’m going to guess (or hope) that others have been where I am. I’d love to hear you have done to help put this great game into a proper perspective.

[Unwiseevove]

The fact is that I don’t really like golf for the sake of playing golf. I play with a good group of guys, but I’m not one of those who play for the camaraderie. I don’t enjoy playing golf; I enjoy playing golf well. For me there’s a huge difference between the two.

You may not like my opinion, but you asked for it, so I will give it. The portion I quoted above is the root of your problem. If you cannot enjoy a round of mediocre golf, then this "driving you crazy" problem is going to exist everytime you shoot a poor round. I am not suggesting you give up your competitive mentality, for that is likely what enables you to shoot as low as you are capable of doing. But you need to be able to accept the fact that you are going to have poor rounds and then try to see the "good" in those rounds. If nothing else, those poor rounds often teach you things that you otherwise didn't know or forgot (i.e. never hit it into this lie ever again). I think you should receive more enjoyment from your better rounds. It is natural and anyone who says otherwise is likely lying. Nonetheless, start looking for sources of enjoyment from the poor rounds. Or, do what Nicklaus did and quickly "forget" the poor rounds. Lastly, for most of us golf is a recreation, not an income-earner. I want to play well, but hey, its not like I am going to get fired for having a bad round.

[natahololll]

I hate sucking at golf. I hate sucking at anything. But, I really, really love those few perfect moments that you get during even the worst of rounds. Take it for what it is: A game and a chance to get out and hit a little ball on the biggest playground that there is. Or, if you can't do that, go find something that you enjoy doing. No use ruining a good day doing something you don't like to do.

[feroiodpiop]

It would be very hard to be consistently lights out with that attitude I would think. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself and it is weighing you down like you were trying to swing with your bag on your back.

I am the same way you are with my attitude, but when I have a bad round, I just remind myself that I have been blessed with 4 fully functioning arms and legs and a boat load of athleticism.

But, I am just a n00b, so what do I know?

[Jon Woodgate]

It would be very hard to be consistently lights out with that attitude I would think. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on yourself and it is weighing you down like you were trying to swing with your bag on your back.

I am the same way you are with my attitude, but when I have a bad round, I just remind myself that I have been blessed with 4 fully functioning arms and legs and a boat load of athleticism.

But, I am just a n00b, so what do I know?

You have 4 arms and legs?? I cant believe I have never noticed this!

[Evoryboypoto]

I think reading Bob Rotella's "Golf is not a game of Perfect" will help you. Enjoy the game for what it is and not what it isn't.

[11Woxsepmoomo]

I’d love to hear you have done to help put this great game into a proper perspective.

Not to be mean, but IMO the problem lies in your perception and attitude towards things. Why keep playing a sport you don't enjoy? If your true enjoyment only comes from "being good" at golf then stop worrying about your score and "being good". Put your playing on hold for awhile and start practicing more, taking lessons etc. Playing golf on the course should only be about playing. If you want to get better, practicing is done on the range/practise facilities. Not the other around. Seems to me you are getting in your own way.

It’s got the point where I’m having a hard time enjoying the game at any level. The fact is that I don’t really like golf for the sake of playing golf. I play with a good group of guys, but I’m not one of those who play for the camaraderie. I don’t enjoy playing golf; I enjoy playing golf well. For me there’s a huge difference between the two.

Sidenote: Have your ever thought about how your attitude might affect the enjoyment of your group? Might be something to consider for the sake of your friends. Personally I would hate having to play along someone that keeps getting mad all the time and/or does not enjoy himself on the course.

[Info-phone]

My basic opinion on golf is the following:

Even the worst day on the course is better than best day at work

I get frusterated when I don't play well, and sometimes loose the enjoyment for a period of time during the round.... But when I sit down at the end of the day I always look back and enjoy the time I spent. If I ever loose that feeling I will be done playing golf. Ultimately I play for fun and if I am not having it I should hang up the cleats.

[MackBranon]

I understand your pain. For me, I've been down to a low single digit (best score was a +1 on a relatively easy course, but keeping it together for 73 strokes is worth something), but after a back injury and being forced to take 2yrs off, I found coming back that my old swing just didn't work anymore and was >36 handi. I considered quitting for a long time, but took some lessons as the time off destroyed any feel for my swing that I had, but I'm back to a 10.

I guess the main difference between us (we both have the same no nonsense need to play well) is that I genuinely LOVE the feel of a well struck ball and I just like being out there. I think mellowing out in that regard will be very beneficial. Otherwise....where is this going? Assuming you play every round at 72. What next? Are you going to get on yourself for not birdie'ing every hole? The cycle will never end.

[inmeirulez]

You have 4 arms and legs?? I cant believe I have never noticed this!

LMAO LOL One-T you got my buddy Setho on that one dude!!!

Mizzou - I have always been competitive, however for some reason my attitude finally has calmed down. I even swing slower which produces straighter shots etc. I guess for me, it took going through some serious health issues and coming out without losing my life, family, or friends. The folks on here can be medicine for you if you let them. Good friends on or off the golf course are seriously good medicine...... Maybe those guys you play with put that pressure on you, if so change your group. I am slowly but surely learning that putting all that stress to win on yourself is self defeating. It just ain't worth it. I know ain't ain't a word but who gives a flip. I hope you learn to drop all that stressing yourself out, enjoy this thread and learn from it, and start living. Right now you are stressing so hard, you may be harming your health. It's not worth it dude. Good luck with your journey, you can do it!

[jaydicassdhy]

Buy yourself a couple of books on the mental side of the game. Read up a bit on the game and find out where others get their enjoyment from. If you want to be better every time, practice more than you play. This take dedication I guess. Set yourself mini-targets when you're playing badly and your score is shot, like going on a run of pars for the next few holes, getting your GIR up or holing a putt or 2.

Lastly, as a side note, your handicap system only counts your 10 low rounds? Wow. I'd love to play with that system, I'd be way down there! We count every competitive round, good or bad.

[Info-phone]

Buy yourself a couple of books on the mental side of the game. Read up a bit on the game and find out where others get their enjoyment from. If you want to be better every time, practice more than you play. This take dedication I guess. Set yourself mini-targets when you're playing badly and your score is shot, like going on a run of pars for the next few holes, getting your GIR up or holing a putt or 2.

Lastly, as a side note, your handicap system only counts your 10 low rounds? Wow. I'd love to play with that system, I'd be way down there! We count every competitive round, good or bad.

All handicap systems only count low rounds...
The simple math (no course rating/slope adjustments)... Take your 20 most recent rounds... average the 10 best together (50%), and multiply by .96

[jaydicassdhy]

All handicap systems only count low rounds...
The simple math (no course rating/slope adjustments)... Take your 20 most recent rounds... average the 10 best together (50%), and multiply by .96

Not ALL handicap systems.....remember I don't play on that side of the pond.

[Info-phone]

Not ALL handicap systems.....remember I don't play on that side of the pond.

I was more saying that we still turn in all of our competitive rounds too. The scoring system takes them off natural
The theory is that your handicap should represent your 'potential' to score as a golfer... and you should only shoot your handicap once every 4 rounds or so. The score fluctuates as high rounds are replaced, or as good rounds fall off the list of 20.

Sorry MU, you can have your thread back

[jaydicassdhy]

I was more saying that we still turn in all of our competitive rounds too. The scoring system takes them off natural
The theory is that your handicap should represent your 'potential' to score as a golfer... and you should only shoot your handicap once every 4 rounds or so. The score fluctuates as high rounds are replaced, or as good rounds fall off the list of 20.

Sorry MU, you can have your thread back

Ah right, I understand it a little better from that, thanks.

Yeah, back on topic.

MU, I was away from the game for around a year up until recently. I found the motivation to get back out there, but I wasn't desperate to play again. But once I was out there, I rediscovered the game in a way, and got the enjoyment back. It could be what you need. But I'd go through the other suggestions first, before putting the clubs in storage.

[feroiodpiop]

You have 4 arms and legs?? I cant believe I have never noticed this!

They call me spider man.