[pimbertiemoft]

Dear One,

Iam in love with a guy who is belonging im my gothram pls clarify is there any possibilities to get marry in formal traditional way but we dont like to do all the marriage procedure done by girls uncle i would like to do all the procedure by my father especically kanigathanam. we are having deep faith about our veda & sastram and i am thinking that iam doing wrong but he is staborn on his opinion eventhough he knows sastras & vedas.always mind is not peaceful. if we get marry in traditional way how it could be done any special procedure for this? because in marriage ceremany changing of gothram is important if in this situation we are in same gothram so no need to change. any one knows these details pls let me know in detail. and also pls clarify if we get marry is that against to our sastras because i dont like to override our sastras pls clarify

[loan4younow]

swapna,

not to worry. rationally speaking, there is nothing wrong with sagotra marriage, when people wbo are first cousins, and share 50% bloodline are permitted to marry.

go to the nearest temple, and marry before God. that will give you peace of mind.

and have a grand reception. no need to compromise your intense beliefs in the name of sagotra or hurt your/parents' sentiments.

wishing you and your loved one a complication free, harmonious and peaceful life.

[9uWzBx4l]

Please see this thread where this issue has been discussed in detail.

pls help me out

[Auzuigcx]

I have listed my views on the subject along with references. The point of view from religion and law have been given as well.

pls help me out

[22CreessGah]

Dear All,

so there is no way to get marry in traditional way? that is 3 days marriage? we both are dreaming about those 3 days really we want enjoy those tradtional functions. is there any way to do 3 days marriage pls?

[occallExtet]

Dear One,

Iam in love with a guy who is belonging im my gothram pls clarify is there any possibilities to get marry in formal traditional way but we dont like to do all the marriage procedure done by girls uncle i would like to do all the procedure by my father especically kanigathanam. we are having deep faith about our veda & sastram and i am thinking that iam doing wrong but he is staborn on his opinion eventhough he knows sastras & vedas.always mind is not peaceful. if we get marry in traditional way how it could be done any special procedure for this? because in marriage ceremany changing of gothram is important if in this situation we are in same gothram so no need to change. any one knows these details pls let me know in detail. and also pls clarify if we get marry is that against to our sastras because i dont like to override our sastras pls clarify

The moment you post this question, it is obvious that you had to clarify on what you believe as you follow some Patten of custom and tradition! Appreciate it! You can deal it in three ways:
1: Seeking the advice from the right person (your parents/family members)
2. Seeking the right person (Like the person well versed in our dharma saastras, i heard a person in Kancheepuram Matt he could clarify any doubts on our saastras)
3: Follow your own "conscience".

To the best of my knowledge based on what I have heard saying by my Grand Father (Yajna Venkatrama Ghanapaadigal) There is a praayaschitam (aabhad praayaschitam) for Sagothra Maariage if it is known at the last moment! But Iam not sure how it will work if that aspect is known well in advance...

If you want to know more about Gothra and other related stuffs, there was a thread extensively discussed on this matter: http://www.tamilbrahmins.com/showthread.php?t=109

Regards
R Venkatraman

[bQXHsKzS]

I have a slightly different query. Can someone show light on Iyer female in marriage with Iyengar male, falling under the same gothram?
Though Brahmanas, aren't Iyer and Iyengar quite different cults to fall under same lineage? How is this comprehended?

Thank you

[Vobomei]

Only in case of marriage between blood relatives, the probability of genetic disorders in their offspring is greater. Persons of "Sa-gothram" must have common ancestors, several generations ago. Therefore, nothing to worry in your case.

Marry without any fear or inhibition, if you are otherwise attracted to each other and
live happily for many, many decades!

May God bless you.