[leyliana]

Bismihee Ta'aala

Asalamualaikum.


After reading this thread I though I would just add some input that I learned throughout my journey of tasawwuf so far:

1. Every Shaykh is different. Some Shaykhs only will answer you islaah problems, while others will help you with personal problems also. The only thing I've noticed they won't help you with is Fiqhi problems unless if they a Mufti (which is very understandable).

Alhumdulillah my Shaykh not only helps me with my Islah, but also what I should be doing in life and just some major issues here and there related to my personal problems

2. A person should ask their Shaykh how often can they email them.

One brother told me that his Shaykh said to email him only once a week. Some Shuyook may say to email them as many times as they want. Therefore ask your Shaykh.


3. When a Shaykh prescribes something, we shouldn't be so quick to say that it doesn't work.

My Shaykh prescribed me something and told me to inform him after 40 days. Now after 40 days if I haven't improved I will tell him. I realized that you shouldn't be affraid to tell you Shaykh if something isn't working. They will usually come up with another solution. My Shaykh was telling me some incidents where some people couldn't follow through with one prescription and something else was prescribed and it worked.


4. My Shaykh told me that in order to be a true mureed, a person needs to have three things for his Shaykh:

Muhabbat, Aqeedat, Azmat. Without these three things a person will leave their Shaykh instantly. A person can listen to their Shaykh all they want, but if they have no muhabbat for him then as soon as he says something they don't like then they will just leave him.


5. A person should ask their Shaykh how many problems they should inform them with at a time.

My Shaykh told me only inform him with 1 or 2 problems at a time. No more than this so because maybe I might get overwhelmed and then won't do anything.


6. Before you take bayat with any-one, you should ask them WHATEVER you want.

I asked my Shaykh the most ridiculous questions (of course with adaab). I heard a speech by a Shaykh that said you should ask anything you want before you take bayat. So I was like okay and then emailed 10 questions to different Shaykhs. That's how I narrowed my search. Some of the questions I asked is how old are you, how will we know if we have nisbaat together, how fast do you reply, etc.

My point is don't take bayat blindly. Ask whatever you want before hand. Some Shuyookh will answer the questions and some wont. One Shaykh didn't reply to my questions, so I realized that maybe it's not best to pursue it farther.


7. We got to realize that Shuyook have lives and family also. If Shaykh doesn't reply maybe he thinks its not important or maybe he is just busy. Give it some time and then ask again.


I guess my main point is that every Shaykh is different. We can't generalize how Shuyook are. The best way is to go and speak to them openly about any issues or concerns we may have. One thing I realized is that Shuyook are very loving and they will never judge a person (atleast the ones I met).


And Allah (SWT) knows best