[WGRocky]

Hi brothers and sisters. I'm a really anxiety prone guy with ADHD who really gets borderline psychotic when it comes to Islam. In the past 2 years I have tried to better myself as a Muslim, and I've nearly been driven crazy by it due to anxiety/waswasa.

I follow the Hanafi madhhaab, and as I read more and more I keep coming up on new information that totally goes against what I learned in almost 8 years or Quranic/Sunday school at my mosque. I have a huge issue with pronouncing things right and remembering how to pronounce them (staying consistent throughout rakhs) and I also have a huge problem with doubt and forgetting really small things in EVERY salat in almost every rakh because I just can't concentrate. Some times I go in a cycle where I would just keep redoing the prayer again and again and again for hours till I feel sick to my stomach and am ready to collapse from the mental exhaustion.

The latest piece of information I have come across is point 39 in the following link about praying aloud.

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.a...ID=1014&CATE=4

"If a prayer which has to be offered silently is offered in a loud voice, the forgetfulness prostration will have to be made irrespective of whether the person is a munfarid or an imam"

Now I have a huge issue with pronunciation and concentrating, so I pray ALL my salat from the Fard to the nalf aloud, from Fajr to Isha, every single word. It's my saving grace in saying everything right. It's become so bad that I can't do salat silently. I have tried to do the sunnah prayers and whatnot in the mosque after a fard and it just ends up coming out as jibberish. Not sure if its my breathing skills or what.

For example I'll be reciting a surah and it will come out all distorted if I try to whisper it. The only time I can say something silently is if I'm only moving my lips with no words coming out at all (hard to explain, like not even whispering, just moving the lips to look like it's a word, etc and I'm not sure if this is permissible).

Also point 8

"To recite another Surah (after Surah Faatihah) in all the rakaats of sunnah and nafl prayer is wajib. If a person forgets to recite another Surah in any of the rakaats, he will have to make the forgetfulness prostration. "

No one ever told me that it's WAJIB to recite a surah in every rakah of sunnah and nafl prayers. I was told that the surah is sunnah in the first place (told to us by our hanafi teachers), but it seems not.

I'm so confused, I'm hoping someone can clarify these things and give me a piece of mind. Sometimes I hate myself for even stumbling upon a link and finding out the past 14 years of you salat/etc was wrong. It hurts (I'm 26 btw).

[illilmicy]

Regarding point # 38: this is only talking about if you are praying in congregation. If this happens, the Imam and all those praying behind him will make forgetfulness prostration. But when praying alone, all prayers are done silently.

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Regarding point #8: Yes, it is wajib to recite a surah after Fatiha in every rakah of sunnah or nafl prayer. However, in a Fardh salah, a surah after Fatiha is recited only in the first two rakat. The remaining number of rakah, if there are any (depending on what prayer we're talking about) will only have Fatiha recited in them.

I do not think you have to repeat those sunnah and nafl prayers in which you didn't recite surahs. As long as you prayed the Fardh right.

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Brother, you must try your best to gain khusoo' and attentiveness in salah and ignore waswasaa from the shaytaan. Alhamdulillah, you are trying very hard to become a better Muslim, and for this effort Allah will love you.

You must first get grounded in knowledge of basic fiqh. I suggest you buy books about Hanafi fiqh, and attend any Hanafi Fiqh lectures. Learn basics like fiqh of fasting, fiqh of wudhu, fiqh of salah etc.... you dont have to become a scholar, just know enough to get through daily worship and routines.

I suggest you purchase this book on Hanafi Jurisprudence: http://www.amazon.com/Ascent-Felicit.../dp/1933764090

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As for you pronunciation problem, find a tajweed teacher who can teach you how to recite the Qur'an properly. Also, listen to a lot of Qur'an on youtube by professional Qurra (I suggest sheikh Mishary). Heres the whole Qur'an recited by Mishary. Try to listen while looking at a msuhaf, and try to copy him exactly.

In the mean time, try your best to recite the Qur'an and even if you are not good you will get double the reward for your effort (according to a saheeh hadith)


I hope all goes well. If you have any other questions, please ask.

[Desflahd]

Assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu brother:

Try not to get bogged down with information. I know, it gets very confusing with all this information floating around and we keep tripping on something new every day. If you know a teacher or a scholar you trust, ask him for a couple of trusted and reliable resources and try to stick to those.

Take it one step at a time. I know, we want to perfect our salaah and everything else but if we go too fast and try to take it all in we could end up crashing and burning out which could be worse. Try not to overhaul/change everything at once. As you read through the resources (as recommended to you), work on one problem area at a time.

Also, it sounds like you may be an auditory learner and this may be why it is important for you to hear your voice while you recite. Perhaps you could discuss this with the teacher and look for ways/exercises to work on silent recitation.

Just out of curiosity: when were you identified as having ADHD and have you been tested for central auditory processing disorder?

Wa'assalaam

[Slonopotam845]

Watching Na-Mehram or the private parts of our body may cause loss / degradation of mental health. The more we refrain from this the better concentration and memory strength we gain. Start practising and see the results sooner.

[joanbertis]

Watching Na-Mehram or the private parts of our body may cause loss / degradation of mental health. The more we refrain from this the better concentration and memory strength we gain. Start practising and see the results sooner.

I doubt this is the problem akhi. The brother has ADHD.

May Allah preserve him and make the deen easy for him. Ameen.

[HcMkOKiz]

Take it one step at a time. I know, we want to perfect our salaah and everything else but if we go too fast and try to take it all in we could end up crashing and burning out which could be worse. Try not to overhaul/change everything at once. As you read through the resources (as recommended to you), work on one problem area at a time.

This is good advice. Perfecting salah is a life long process. I myself have changed the way I've prayed significantly ever since I became a practicing Muslim. I've added new things, changed other things, omitted other things. Its all part of the process as you get closer and closer to the perfect salah that the Prophet used to perform. Dont worry about your past salah, try improving it from now on, and fix one part at a time.

[Vemnagelignc]

Try to relax and diminish anxiety instead of thinking you are not good enough, also think about the Mercy of Allah taala and maybe read about His Mercy. Give Sadaqa even a little everyday and beg Allah taala to give you peace and sarenity. Do istigfar, pray durud sharif.

[Appenianags]

Hi bro,

I have Asperger's which results in some similar issues, though in other areas of life. In a thread on the sensitive subjects forum, I got this response from a moderator (it was in response to a different question/issue, but seems relevant none the less): "People who are created with special needs or are afflicted with autism, for example, will not be subject to the same scrutiny in their questioning on the day of judgement as will be people who are not afflicted with these."

I took that to mean that, for example, if your ADHD means that you need to read aloud in order to complete your prayers, then Allah (swt) will understand. Note that I'm not in a position to offer an actual opinion of my own, but that's one I was given and it seems reasonable to me.

[Natashasuw]

May Allt swt make it easy for all who have problems in their deen. Ameen.

[DenisLevvin]

Hi bro,

I have Asperger's which results in some similar issues, though in other areas of life. In a thread on the sensitive subjects forum, I got this response from a moderator (it was in response to a different question/issue, but seems relevant none the less): "People who are created with special needs or are afflicted with autism, for example, will not be subject to the same scrutiny in their questioning on the day of judgement as will be people who are not afflicted with these."

I took that to mean that, for example, if your ADHD means that you need to read aloud in order to complete your prayers, then Allah (swt) will understand. Note that I'm not in a position to offer an actual opinion of my own, but that's one I was given and it seems reasonable to me.

I have heard this as well, but there's always the feeling for me that the doctors are wrong and I'm just some guy with soo much anxiety that it's all in my head...

EDIT: I posted another post, not sure where it went... It was long, damn...

[MichaelfromSpace]

I have heard this as well, but there's always the feeling for me that the doctors are wrong and I'm just some guy with soo much anxiety that it's all in my head...

EDIT: I posted another post, not sure where it went... It was long, damn...

Regardless of whether it's in your head or your body, it's still how Allah (swt) made you. So as long as you are trying your best to cope with it, I'd find it hard to believe that He would blame you for your difficulties. If He creates a man with no hands or feet, do you think the man will be blamed for not being able to perform his prayers in the correct way? I would hope that as long as the man does the best he can with what he has, that he will be forgiven. Note that this is only my opinion, I'm still too new to this whole thing to be able to offer an educated religious assessment of it.

[johnsonjunior]

Hi brothers and sisters. I'm a really anxiety prone guy with ADHD who really gets borderline psychotic when it comes to Islam. In the past 2 years I have tried to better myself as a Muslim, and I've nearly been driven crazy by it due to anxiety/waswasa

Brother religion is supposed to be easy for you not a difficulty. Do not burden yourself with anxieties in religious performance over every detail. There are hadiths to the effect that religion should be made easy. Just keep a sincere intent and try what is within your abilities. Dont worry too much about perfect execution and tajweed (for now) and simply learn the fardhs of prayer at this stage. Simplify your Islam instead of complexifying it. I have seen very pious brethren and very learned who have difficulties in pronounciation. You just have to accept what your tongue can articulate.

It seems you might be having obsessive compulsive disorder in addition to your ADHD. Your anxieties are emanating from this desire of perfect execution. This is the OCD diagnostic criteria in the DSM. I have bold italicized things which are relevant to your case but other text in the criteria are also worth a good read.

================================================== ================================================== =====
A. Either obsessions or compulsions:

Obsessions as defined by (1), (2), (3), and (4):
(1) recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress

(2) the thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems

(3) the person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action

(4) the person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind (not imposed from without as in thought insertion)

Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):
(1) repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly

(2) the behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent or are clearly excessive

B. At some point during the course of the disorder, the person has recognized that the obsessions or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable.

C. The obsessions or compulsions cause marked distress, are time consuming (take more than 1 hour a day), or significantly interfere with the person’s normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual social activities or relationships.

D. Another Axis I disorder is present, the content of the obsessions or compulsions is not restricted to it (e.g., preoccupation with food in the presence of an Eating Disorder; hair pulling in the presence of Trichotillomania; concern with appearance in the presence of Body Dysmorphic Disorder; preoccupation with drugs in the presence of a Substance Use Disorder; preoccupation with having a serious illness in the presence of Hypochondriasis; preoccupation with sexual urges or fantasies in the presence of a Paraphilia; or guilty ruminations in the presence of Major Depressive Disorder).

E. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.
================================================== ================================================== =======

This is just what might be the case I think. You might probably even have other obsessive thoughts. Every one is usually concerned about executing a good prayer however there will always be people who are on extreme ranges due to unidentified disorders in your case probably OCD. This is just an opinion and might be unreflective of your reality. I would suggest you go see a qualified psychiatrist and let him take a detailed consultation. He might suggest tips, advises, ideas and might even consider starting you on anti-OCD medications. Do not take this as medical advise and initiate self-reatment before a thorough evaluation from a medical doctor/psychiatrist.

May Islam become easy for you

[yasmin]

Brother, there is a VERY easy solution to reciting in sunnah/nafl salah. In fact, you've mentioned it in your post itself!

You can simply mouth the words without whispering. That will suffice. Mouthing the words is the bare minimum, which would be permissible in your case, with the recommendation being whispering it loud enough so that you can hear but others won't hear.

Also, don't worry about your past sunnah salah and pray them from now onwards with recitation of additional surah in each rakat. The additional surah/recitation is not a sunnah but an obligatory part of the sunnah salah. There are many things we learn and improve upon so don't fret over past mistakes, especially when they are done unknowingly and especially since there is no effect on the fardh actions.

[styhorporry]

Why haven't the mods here approved my message I posted not only 2 weeks ago but again last week? I still need help, things have worsened.

At least tell me WHY it's not being posted and I keep getting "waiting for moderator review".