[Vegeinvalge]

Call Centre Conversations with the Public (or certain challenged elements of the public)

Customer: "I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about"
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unlug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services

Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"
Operator: “Doesn’t the product name give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: “&n! bsp; Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realized that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
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This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for "Termination without Cause".


Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: &nb! sp;"Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you’re too f --- ing stupid to own a computer

[artenotreah]

Jazak'Allah Brother Muadh this thread has definitely cheered me up.

[KellyLynchIV]

Some good ones, brother.

[cristmiff]

Hilarious stuff Bruv!

[Jeffery]

mashallah some very amusing ones. i think we should have some more jokes to cheer ourselves up, but in the boundry of islam

[BqTyG9eS]

please no offense to asians we are all brothers and sisters.........

35 ways u can tell that u r Asian!
1. You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you
2. Your entire family runs the marathon when they see a dog (calmly walking on the other side of the road)
3. "Paracetamol" is your cure to every illness
4. Your remote control is still in its plastic packet
5. Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex
6. You hire a convertible in mid-December
7. You secretly watch "ZEE TV." but pretend you've never heard of it
8. At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus
9. You have a telephone at home but nobody is (ever) allowed to use it
10. You find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and sunglasses...you ask who he is and find out it's your uncle
11. You dance at a complete stranger's wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)
12. You somehow think you were involved in Tu Pac's death
13. You drive your car around the same spot for 10 years playing music that was out in '95
14. You achieve A*'s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER
15. Your car is better than your house
16. Universities let you in for Medicine just by looking at you
17. There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway
18. You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way
19. Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.
20. A member of your family claims that they once used to live in the Taj Mahal
21. You have to offer guests tea even before they've stepped into your house
22. You address every other Asian person on the planet as "your cousin"
23. Girls: Your brother thinks he's your dad
24. Your wedding takes place in either a community centre or a ****py restaurant on Wilmslow Road
25. You know how an Indian film will end even before it's started (but you still watch it)
26. You're related to your doctor
27. You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven't seen half of these people in your life)
28. At school, your parents were never aware of Parents' Evening (...and if they did attend Parents' Evening and you got a bad report, you told them that the teachers were all racist)
29. You arrive late at every party
30. At weddings the cameraman only ever cameras you when you're eating
31. Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don't give a **** (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")
32. At parties, you wear more glitter and sparkly bits than a Christmas tree
33. You get over-excited when you see another Asian person on t.v. You are constantly being compared to every other Asian kid on the Planet
34. You pronounce English words in a typical accent when speaking to your parents e.g. toilet: "Toylat"
35. You never go to the library "to work"

[cymnPrayerm]

Funny list mate even though I ain't heard of most of them. You forgot one important one, Suitcases on top of the cupboard, or is that just my folks?

[Allbrunette]

Funny list mate even though I ain't heard of most of them. You forgot one important one, Suitcases on top of the cupboard, or is that just my folks?

yeah thats a good one.. that reminded me something .one of my cousin went for haj and the suitcase which he packed was on the cupboard or under the bed he told hes son when they were departing to take the suitcase out so he did once he reached saudi he found out that hes son had given him the wrong suitcase it had blankets and other things basically there were two suitcase there.
so yeah that could be number 36

anyone gone any more.??????

[ringtonesmannq]

[Fegasderty]

That Asian list is pretty funny....and true!

[OWV9LSxH]

what about 1001 uses for biscuit tins