[ovH9wfSJ]

...

[9V4i8xw1]

are you worried that he is a homosexual who is chasing you?

[Escamsrasiush]

try to avoid him fo ra while
see how he reacts

ramadhan is coming
that should give you a clean break

talk to an older brother or youre dad

[Escamsrasiush]

how old are you?
and he?
is he married
are you

[Escamsrasiush]

talk about this with youre father
older brother
ameer

send them to him

[Escamsrasiush]

talk about this with youre father
older brother
ameer

send them to him

especially if he,s 30 unmarried..

hopefully the matter will be resolved by others
keep youre distance

may allah also protect us from unnecessary and invalid suspiciousness too
but this needs to be pro actively resolved

[Escamsrasiush]

Unfortunately this is not an option I can avail.
Even if I could have afforded such an option, I know he would have been after my life for clarifying things.

then take more serious measures if this is the case
it seems youre suffering from psychological manipulation
you must tell father brother ameer

or more

[Extinimot]

In my masjid one elder is there , he is 20 years elder to me. He is really upset with me & even sometimes try to hit me in my shoulders, press the back of my neck. But whenever he does that he smiles and plays with me as if he is 24 years old boy.

Whenever he is the Amir, he makes me to give bayan & forces me to do that; once I had a valid reason of breaking fast - he asked me to drink water and do the bayan. When I was the Amir, he will bring reasons as if he is tired and not feeling well.

He is a good guy but short tempered and very strict & doesnt reveal that outside. Anyhow, he is my muslim brother - I love him but maintain distance since getting so close to him might get me into trouble with him.

Dont get angry with him, maintain distance he would understand. Treat him like an elder, not as a friend even if think you as his friend. this will make the gap wider

[f6HLLFcw]

3 Whenver he meets, he either hugs and touches my beard while talking. If I shake hands with him, he starts playing with my hand. I feel awfully disgusted and uncomfortable.
4 He sends me 'I love you' messages, yet another nightmare for me to have such texts from a man

lol.do you guys live in pakistan?
is your friend an engineer? : p

man ive done the hand thingy with my friends an awful lot of times. im sorry. it just brought back university memories : p

as for actual advice: ignore what he texts and respond to whatever he does with a 'what are you doing' kind of look.
become severely awkward.
but not rude.
make an awkward face.

some examples of awkward faces are as follows:
1. in the company of others who may not notice you two
2. when you are alone with him
3. if you meet him in front of your parents
4. when there are many people and everyone is looking at you both

(warning to sisters: links contain pictures of men who are not likely to be your mehram)

[Extinimot]

jazakAllah, brother I am keeping distance. But at times I am caught. For example after the salah or something. I just don't even wanna greet him. I know he'll do something stupid that 'll make me feel uncomfortable. He treats me as if we have been friends since ages. I want to know what right does Shariah give me here? Can i just kick him out w/o considering how he feels? Or do i have to deal with it with patience?

I am undergoing the same pressure as you.. I am 1 or 2 years elder to you & I know the pain.
See we need to maintain distance , patience is required from our side. Dont scold or think bad about him, I am a learner in jamaat. I havent spend more than 4 days of Khurooj in my life. They ask me to give bayan and after bayan on guy take classes for me pointing mistakes, they say me to give karguzaari - and this troublesome guy scolded me twice in front of everyone that I dont know how to give kaarguzaari. One he even scolded me in front of everyone in taleem majlis for correcting his english. I am in a different country where I dont even have 1 of my relation/family friend, this is really pathetic.

Better avoid those guys, maintain distance

[legal-advicer]

I am undergoing the same pressure as you.. I am 1 or 2 years elder to you & I know the pain.
See we need to maintain distance , patience is required from our side. Dont scold or think bad about him, I am a learner in jamaat. I havent spend more than 4 days of Khurooj in my life. They ask me to give bayan and after bayan on guy take classes for me pointing mistakes, they say me to give karguzaari - and this troublesome guy scolded me twice in front of everyone that I dont know how to give kaarguzaari. One he even scolded me in front of everyone in taleem majlis for correcting his english. I am in a different country where I dont even have 1 of my relation/family friend, this is really pathetic.

Better avoid those guys, maintain distance

السلام عليكم

Brother, if such situation arises while in Jamaat, you should not keep things to yourself, rather upon your return from Jamaat, elders in the locality should be made aware of before the Karguzari. Elders will then give Targhib how to deal with newcomers or behave with each other. Moreover, these things are discussed before the Jamaat is sent out. Well, some brothers won't pay attention to the most important talk before the Jamaats go out. It looks like the person you mention is one of them.

[Extinimot]

السلام عليكم

Brother, if such situation arises while in Jamaat, you should not keep things to yourself, rather upon your return from Jamaat, elders in the locality should be made aware of before the Karguzari. Elders will then give Targhib how to deal with newcomers or behave with each other. Moreover, these things are discussed before the Jamaat is sent out. Well, some brothers won't pay attention to the most important talk before the Jamaats go out. It looks like the person you mention is one of them.

One of my elder in Jamaat know this and he is advising me to be careful with him. I am not blaming that brother, he is a very good guy. Unfortunately, its not syncing with the complete jaamaat's wave length . Once when we were in khurooj, two elders were talking near his bed, he got angry and said that he needs to wake up soon and said them to move. Insha Allah, make dua for the ummah

[legal-advicer]

One of my elder in Jamaat know this and he is advising me to be careful with him. I am not blaming that brother, he is a very good guy. Unfortunately, its not syncing with the complete jaamaat's wave length . Once when we were in khurooj, two elders were talking near his bed, he got angry and said that he needs to wake up soon and said them to move. Insha Allah, make dua for the ummah

السلام عليكم

In that case it's better to keep distance from him and keep a very formal relation with him. In fact we hear elders saying that one should always treat each other as if one has met for the first time.

[Machater]

Huqul Ibad: knowing the limit is also part of huqul ibad! Causing inconvenience is the opposite to huququl ibad. Perhaps your friend doesn't know the definition of what he is talking about. You do what is good for you! Do not let others walk over you! just say I don't feel like switching on the phone as I am busy with studies!

[formobilagsw]

Assalamu alaykum

It happened with my friend. He stopped attending the weekly gathering.
The reason:

At the end of bayan, the speaker asks the audience to do tashkeel for other brothers about their intentions to go in jamaath. Some brothers overdo it, They hug, press other's hand, a good massage at the back etc. Their intentions is to convince the other brothers a polite way.

But this brother feels embraced. He says, why should a stranger from no where should start doing this strange things.

May be we shall convey this to our elders.

[formobilagsw]

I dislike this TJ approach. We are not living in some village and are capeble of understanding the subject. i have stopped attending partly because of their overzealot approach.
Allahualam

Assalamu alaykum

Let the elders be aware of your displeasure.

[Machater]

I don't deal with elders and have no intention either.
I prefer to stick to scholar and have found often these elders are out of touch!! this is not to say all elders are the same in the TJ.
Allahualam

[formobilagsw]

Assalamu alaykum

How about a anonymous letter or a call.

It will help others.