[dyestymum]

Asalam Alaikum

May Allah s.w.a shower his blessings on you all.

How does one stop losing his concentration/passion on deen when his has to deal with a disobedient wife?

For instance due to her disobedience/selfishness he gets really upset and feels like a ton of bricks has fallen on him.
He becomes really depressed which destroys his concentration in prayers, Dhikr etc...
But when things go back on track with his wife so does his deen.

[searkibia]

Asalam Alaikum

May Allah s.w.a shower his blessings on you all.

How does one stop losing his concentration/passion on deen when his has to deal with a disobedient wife?

For instance due to her disobedience/selfishness he gets really upset and feels like a ton of bricks has fallen on him.
He becomes really depressed which destroys his concentration in prayers, Dhikr etc...
But when things go back on track with his wife so does his deen.

Walaikum Salam ,

It is only natural to be upset about it and such a situation does effect our mood. But Eman is Sabr and Shukr. Make Sabr by getting more close to Allah in such a time, and make shukr that atleast he blessed you with a wife.

Then try to get intouch with a good scholor and discuss all the issues with him , maybe you need to act with more wisdom on your behalf.

May Allah's blessing be with you too
Wasalam

[celddiskend]

maybe it works like this.........from expirience from im doing good to ALLAH and everything is good even wifey becomes obedient and even if she isnt ALLAH gives taufiq to handle her as soon as i slip..........Let me not saying anything right about now...

[Ruilnasr]

Asalam Alaikum

May Allah s.w.a shower his blessings on you all.

How does one stop losing his concentration/passion on deen when his has to deal with a disobedient wife?

For instance due to her disobedience/selfishness he gets really upset and feels like a ton of bricks has fallen on him.
He becomes really depressed which destroys his concentration in prayers, Dhikr etc...
But when things go back on track with his wife so does his deen.

If I am understanding you correctly, you are saying that when things are going well in his relationship with his wife, then he is able to concentrate on his deen, but when things are not going well, then he loses it. I think his outlook needs to change. Ones relationship with God is not dependent upon ones relationship with people. The entire world could turn against a man, yet God is still there. When times are not good between the man and his wife, instead of allowing it to affect his relationship with God, he should seek God for solace and comfort in his distress. The problem here is not the wife's "disobedience." The problem is the husband allowing another to come between him and God.

If there is this much strife in the marriage, then the couple should seek marital help.

[dr-eavealer]

Assalamu Alaikum,

In many instances, muslims forget to go to the Quran for guidance for potential problems occuring in their life. So in your scenario, the divine guidelines are in Noble Verses 4:34-36 :

(34). Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

Please note, The Arabic word used in Noble Verse 4:34 above is "idribuhunna", which is derived from "daraba" which means "beat". The thing with all of the Arabic words that are derived from the word "daraba" is that they don't necessarily mean "hit". The word "idribuhunna" for instance, could very well mean to "leave" them.

(35). If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.

(36). Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious.