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Ten Manners of living with women folks ( Discussion #1)
Warning. Blessed Imams views are based on Quran and sunnah. As such it’s a Manuel for momenin who are following shariah ,under the Islamic ambiance and governance of sharia. However we as ommah of Mohammad SAS are far from it. So it is not a word by word remedy for us. Please apply with caution. May Allah SWT make imams work as mowaddah (love)between the brothers and sisters and not a help for sheitan, .
First Adab (walimah)Abdur rahamn Auof (Ra) said after nikah do walimah even it was sacrificing one goat.
Prophet SAS didwalimah for nikah with Safiah (RA) simply with barely flour and dates
The sunnah is to do walimah within three days if delayed no more than one week
It is sunnah to celebrate and use drums.(sema and daff are sunnah)
Robayyah bint masoud (RA) said the day after that they did my nikah there was a celebration, the servants were singing and drumming when they saw prophet SAS they started singing praise of him.He SAS said; do what you first were doing (meaning sing your previous songs)

Second adab(being pleasant with women)
Imam RA advises husbands to be pleasant with women. To be patient with their “NO’s” and ungratefulness. The best remedy for their weakness is for husband to not talk and for their (Urah) modesty to stay home.
Prophet SAS said anyone who is patient (sabr) with his wife’s bad manners Allah will give him reward of Ayub (AS) patience to his calamity. And any woman who is patient with the bad manners of her husband Allah SWT will bless her with thawab of Asya (AS) the wife of feruon)
The last word of Prophet SAS before his death was 1. Do your salat 2. Be kind to your servants 3. By Allah be kind to your wives they are under your mercy. Live a good life with them.
Hadith: once a woman with anger hit the blessed chaste of prophet SAS her mother became very angry with her. Prophet SAS said leave her alone they do worst than this and I keep patient with them.
Prophet SAS said the best of you is the one who is the best with his wife. And I am better than all with my wives

[B]Third adab[/B](To play with wife and not be too serious) “Mazah”
Prophet SAS used to race with aysha (RA ) some times he (SAS)used to win and sometimes Ayshah (RA)
Once upon hearing the songs of Ethiopians prophet SAS asked Aysha RA do you want to see them. Yes she (RA) said ; then for long time prophet SAS lifted her up and she was watching the dancers and signers. Aysha RA said three times prophet SAS asked if it is enough and she insisted for more time.
Umar RA with all of his roughness at things said; a man should be like a child with his wife and when it necessitate authority he should be like a man.
It has been said that when a man enters the house he should be smiling and when he leaves the house he should keep quiet. Whatever he finds he should eat and should not ask nor complain.

Fourth adab(to not overdue in playfulness) “mazah”
Imam RA advises that men should not give in to women’s wrong sensation (hawaye bateel). If he sees that her desires or thoughts are unwise or against sharia he should not bend or give in to their demand and deal with hikmah.
Allah SWT say, “alrijal qawammon ala nisa “ so the man should always keep dominance over the woman .
Prophet (SAS) said; destroyed is the one who became servant of his wife .
Some elders have advised that women folks are similar to your nafs. If you let it loose they will go out of hand then fixing it is very hard
There is a weakness in women, that its solution is Patience and forbearance. Women are made of the ribs of Adam (AS) if you try to straighten it you might break it. Be tender

Next six adab inshAllah next time

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