[Muramoursuard]

Salaams, everyone.

Right, I know this may sound really petty, but, how do you peoples react when a person never responds accordingly when you greet him with ‘Assalam’u’alaikum’? Because I’m currently having this issue, and it’s been irritating me for a while.

I help out at my uncle’s fast-food shop on weekends, and we get this one brother – a taxi driver – that pops in regularly on a Saturday night. I can safely assume he’s into his deen, because he has a decent length beard (that’s well maintained) and Islamic car-hangings in his taxi. So you’d think he’d acknowledge the traditional Islamic greeting from one brother to another, right?

No.

On every occasion, when he steps foot into the shop, I’m always the first to initiate the dialogue with a “Assalam’u’alaikum”, only for him to say nothing in return. Not even a “hi”, ar a simple nod of the head! He’d just look at me after I’ve greeted him, scan the hot plate to see what’s available, look up at the menu, before finally instructing: “Just do me the number one meal. How long?”. And upon his exit (after he’s been given his stuff), I’ll always say “Assalam’u’alaikum” or “Allah-hafiz/Khuda-hafiz”, and he’ll just walk out again not replying in the same manner. Not even a “thank you” or a “goodbye”.

Am I overreacting? Or is that just outright rude/disrespectful? Miserable git. I’m not gonna’ treat him with the same courtesy anymore. I’ll just say “what you want?”, make his food as quickly as possible, and send the prat on his way.

Thoughts?

Salaams

[venediene]

Salaams, everyone.

Right, I know this may sound really petty, but, how do you peoples react when a person never responds accordingly when you greet him with ‘Assalam’u’alaikum’? Because I’m currently having this issue, and it’s been irritating me for a while.

I help out at my uncle’s fast-food shop on weekends, and we get this one brother – a taxi driver – that pops in regularly on a Saturday night. I can safely assume he’s into his deen, because he has a decent length beard (that’s well maintained) and Islamic car-hangings in his taxi. So you’d think he’d acknowledge the traditional Islamic greeting from one brother to another, right?

No.

On every occasion, when he steps foot into the shop, I’m always the first to initiate the dialogue with a “Assalam’u’alaikum”, only for him to say nothing in return. Not even a “hi”, ar a simple nod of the head! He’d just look at me after I’ve greeted him, scan the hot plate to see what’s available, look up at the menu, before finally instructing: “Just do me the number one meal. How long?”. And upon his exit (after he’s been given his stuff), I’ll always say “Assalam’u’alaikum” or “Allah-hafiz/Khuda-hafiz”, and he’ll just walk out again not replying in the same manner. Not even a “thank you” or a “goodbye”.

Am I overreacting? Or is that just outright rude/disrespectful? Miserable git. I’m not gonna’ treat him with the same courtesy anymore. I’ll just say “what you want?”, make his food as quickly as possible, and send the prat on his way.

Thoughts?

Salaams

lol...yeah, I think you're overreacting, man. Anyone who's worked in customer service knows you will always get people who are socially inept. You just gotta shrug it off. You need to keep telling him salam, though, especially since you're representing the business. Gotta keep the customers happy. Also, you'll keep getting the reward from Allah.

[Muramoursuard]

I get where you're coming from, my man. But, dealing with rude customers doesn't bother me that much. Water off a duck's back. When he doesn't say hello/goodbye, or make his order politely, I'm not that fussed. It's just his refusal to give me salaams in return. I'm convinced it's more than him being socially inept. He's a practicing Muslim. He's commited to his prayers and stuff (I know because I've had to put his orders on hold in the past). He's more than aware of giving salaams, and I'm pretty sure he does with other people. But to me, he's a right mardy *##^#!

[excholza]

It is probably best that you not assume his deen or his intent. Anything is possible, even the possibility that he might not have heard you. If this is something that bothers you then just ask him the next time he comes in: "are you Muslim?" if he answers "yes" then say "assalamualaikum" - even if he doesn't return your salams. If he isn't Muslim, then you'll know not to greet him with 'assalamualaikum' again.

[Muramoursuard]

It is probably best that you not assume his deen or his intent. Anything is possible, even the possibility that he might not have heard you. If this is something that bothers you then just ask him the next time he comes in: "are you Muslim?" if he answers "yes" then say "assalamualaikum" - even if he doesn't return your salams. If he isn't Muslim, then you'll know not to greet him with 'assalamualaikum' again.

Sister, he has a neatly kept beard, has pretty car-hangings in his taxi (including a tasbi) and reads namaaz. I think it's safe to say he is a Muslim. And he did hear me. He must have done in at lease one of the Saturdays in all of the past 3 months I've been serving him.

[ORDERCHEAPVIAGRASOFTWARE]

Sister, he has a neatly kept beard, has pretty car-hangings in his taxi (including a tasbi) and reads namaaz. I think it's safe to say he is a Muslim. And he did hear me. He must have done in at lease one of the Saturdays in all of the past 3 months I've been serving him.

For three months he didn't even answer your salam not even once? Is there a possibility that his taxi might actually do no belong to him?. Then I guess it's better to ask him directly if he's a Muslim like sister Acacia suggested.

[Eujacwta]

it always seems to me that most Muslim people in Northern England don't return salaams unless they are pious or they know you,

likewise I see people who will return the salaams of their own race but not that of others

many prefer Allahfis and other innovated greetings and even think that you are a wahhabi if you greet with the salaam,

its very sad, but its good to keep on saying it because you will be rewarded

and those who are depriving you of the right of an answer have to answer to Allah for it.

[Muramoursuard]

For three months he didn't even answer your salam not even once? Is there a possibility that his taxi might actually do no belong to him?. Then I guess it's better to ask him directly if he's a Muslim like sister Acacia suggested.

[sighs]

facepalm.jpg

He's been driving it for the past 3 months (that I definitely know). More than likely, it is his taxi. And again, with the beard and the fact that he reads namaaz, it's pretty much a given that he is a Muslim.

[Muramoursuard]

it always seems to me that most Muslim people in Northern England don't return salaams unless they are pious or they know you,

likewise I see people who will return the salaams of their own race but not that of others

many prefer Allahfis and other innovated greetings and even think that you are a wahhabi if you greet with the salaam,

its very sad, but its good to keep on saying it because you will be rewarded

and those who are depriving you of the right of an answer have to answer to Allah for it.

That would make sense. Hmmm.....

[Siffidiolla]

Have you seen him pray?

[excholza]

Brother, as a brother here mentioned, the taxi may not even be his. I can tell you that a very close friend's husband leases his taxi out whenever he goes away for extended periods. Also, there are some drivers who share taxis (at least here in Canada). I don't understand how you know he reads namaaz if he just comes into your store to pick food up or asks you to hold food for him? Also, I personally know people who have hearing problems... Again, anything is possible.

You could go on making assumptions that could possibly lead you to hold back on giving salaams at some point... or... you could just ask.

[Muramoursuard]

Have you seen him pray?

Oh my goodness. Seriously?

[Muramoursuard]

Brother, as a brother here mentioned, the taxi may not even be his. I can tell you that a very close friend's husband leases his taxi out whenever he goes away for extended periods. Also, there are some drivers who share taxis (at least here in Canada). I don't understand how you know he reads namaaz if he just comes into your store to pick food up or asks you to hold food for him? Also, I personally know people who have hearing problems... Again, anything is possible.

You could go on making assumptions that could possibly lead you to hold back on giving salaams at some point... or... you could just ask.

Ok, fine. Let's assume the taxi isn't his. And let's assume he's keeping a beard just for giggles.

But how do you explain him telling us, on a few occasions, to delay making the food because he's stopping for Isha/Maghrab namaaz? Because sometimes, instead walking in the shop to get their food, customers can make their order over the phone for collection.

I don't know what you make of it, but, between that taxi, having a beard, and telling us that he reads namaaz(!), it's all one heck of a coincidence, don't ya' think?

[Deseassaugs]

Brother, I think that you must de-personalise from the lack of response, you have greeted in the best and truest way possible and forgive the brother every time he doesn't respond - as you would want to be forgiven.
I know from my own ignorance and almost if not all lack of deen I would not return Salaam when greeted with it on many occasions because of my ignorance of what it actually meant compared to a traditional british greeting, my lack of knowledge in the right way to respond and confidence in pronunciation. Astagfirullah.

That was me before and in absolutely no way am I attributing anything negative to the brother, I'm just giving an example of how I used to act and that it could be any number of reasons for you not being responded to. I think you should most definitely continue to bestow your Salaam and not get irritated, it only takes an atom of negativity for nafs or the shaytan to sieze it and start the whispering to our ego. Forgive me if you view any part of my response as negative, my opinion is only meant with positive intent.

[Uhmavano]

Oh my goodness. Seriously?

sometimes im guilty of it too until someone reminded me..you just have to repeat it at least twice..

[Muramoursuard]

Brother, I think that you must de-personalise from the lack of response, you have greeted in the best and truest way possible and forgive the brother every time he doesn't respond - as you would want to be forgiven.
I know from my own ignorance and almost if not all lack of deen I would not return Salaam when greeted with it on many occasions because of my ignorance of what it actually meant compared to a traditional british greeting, my lack of knowledge in the right way to respond and confidence in pronunciation. Astagfirullah.

That was me before and in absolutely no way am I attributing anything negative to the brother, I'm just giving an example of how I used to act and that it could be any number of reasons for you not being responded to. I think you should most definitely continue to bestow your Salaam and not get irritated, it only takes an atom of negativity for nafs or the shaytan to sieze it and start the whispering to our ego. Forgive me if you view any part of my response as negative, my opinion is only meant with positive intent.

Thanks Mexxan.

Totally understood your post. Maybe, despite his appearance and what I assume of him, he probably is ignorant of the significance of giving salaams. As bizarre as that is.

[Muramoursuard]

sometimes im guilty of it too until someone reminded me..you just have to repeat it at least twice..

Good idea. Maybe having to repeat it to him, will make him aware that he's taking the biscuit.

[Deseassaugs]

Brother, I think the next time you see him, you should politely ask him. As I said I'm sure their could any number of possible reasons - what we may think is a legitimate reason may not be so for another person and vice versa. But being quick to forgive and not to assume should be something we do automatically, I know this is what I fail at and must strive to achieve.

And after all this thread maybe perceived as back-biting in another form, Astagfirullah.

[Siffidiolla]

Just ask him straight forwardly.

I think that will solve this thread.