[uranbigis]

salaams to all...

i had come to know an elderly uncle who i gave rides home from the masjid as he lived locally in someone else's house. i gave him a small amount of sadaqa here and there because i came to know through talking to him that he was relatively poor, looking for work and he was from abroad. then the other day he asked me to give him money for plane ticket to his home country. i pretended i did not hear it and just gave him some money from my wallet. i am not poor alhumdulillah but i did not want to pay for his plane ticket as i have my own expenses and any extra money i would like to give to other charities. what should i have done? am i right to feel bad about the episode?

jazakallah khair for any help on this...

[Fegasderty]

Well brother, I cannot give you the best opinion on this as my knowledge is quiet limited. However were not in the state that you would be able to pay such a large amount of money so I think that you giving him the sadaqa you did and telling him " may Allah help you, and make your rezq nearer to you " ( Allah ysahelak).
However as you seem as a very good Muslim (masha'a Allah, you're rare ) you can ask people in your community of friends and family to save the money needed together plus a little more to get him started on a new road towards a better life and isA you'll get the reward.
w Allahu alam, Allah knows best

[Vomephems]

This happens in Madinah quite often. People often approach you saying they've lost all their belongings, passport, tickets etc and need help getting back to Pakistan or need just enough money to get to Makkah. It's difficult to tell who's genuine and I am usually sceptical about everyone who has these stories. My husband, however, is if the opinion that we should not refuse anyone, ever, so gives what is in his pockets. Most, if not all of the time, they are not satisfied with this much and refuse to take anything other than a few hundred riyals. They'll also refuse practical help such as taking them to a policeman or to the authorities to report their loss or arrange for replacement passport/ticket. In the end, I would suggest that you give how much you want and how much you can and leave them to their deeds. If they are truthful, then at least you've helped a little; if not, then Allah is the reckoned, not us.

[uranbigis]

jazakallah for the responses.

i am not posting this to make myself look good at all; in fact, this may even make me look bad to some people.

i have been to Madinah Munawarrah and i know what you are talking about; but I felt this uncle was different because i think he was telling the truth that he was going to his home country, and in the past he gave me his number to call in his home country; however, he used to live in Mecca and maybe he learned this technique there? Allahu 'Alim.

the other question is now: what to do now? he gave me the impression he would be leaving and not be back for a few months. in the future if i see him, should i avoid him? or just pretend it did not happen?

[Qeiafib]

jazakallah for the responses.

i am not posting this to make myself look good at all; in fact, this may even make me look bad to some people.

i have been to Madinah Munawarrah and i know what you are talking about; but I felt this uncle was different because i think he was telling the truth that he was going to his home country, and in the past he gave me his number to call in his home country; however, he used to live in Mecca and maybe he learned this technique there? Allahu 'Alim.

the other question is now: what to do now? he gave me the impression he would be leaving and not be back for a few months. in the future if i see him, should i avoid him? or just pretend it did not happen?

If you see him before he leaves, and he happens to bring it up again, just tell him the truth, that you can't really afford to help him right now. If he leaves before then, and you seem him after he comes back, just don't mention it, and carry on like you used to. Who does he live with?

[uranbigis]

he lives in a spare house of somebody in the community...
also, i could afford it.

[uranbigis]

bump

[ethigSmimbine]

he lives in a spare house of somebody in the community...
also, i could afford it.

Even if you could afford it ( and its not going to harm you or your family , helping others but making your family and yourself wanting of money is not permitted ) .....
It is part of your ibadah to judge and be sure you are spending your sadaqa in the right place with the right people. Use your other resources given to you by Allah to make that decision ( Intellect ) .

Allah looks at the Intention . If you come to a wrong conclusion while your heart was in the right place Allah forgives . If you give someone the money and have doubts about the person say in your heart Allah forgive me and forgive him if I am wrong .

The Sadaqa is for the sake of Allah .

With Allah every action for the sake of him is profitable

You are a good person .

[DrJonson]

Even if you could afford it ( and its not going to harm you or your family , helping others but making your family and yourself wanting of money is not permitted ) .....
It is part of your ibadah to judge and be sure you are spending your sadaqa in the right place with the right people. Use your other resources given to you by Allah to make that decision ( Intellect ) .

Allah looks at the Intention . If you come to a wrong conclusion while your heart was in the right place Allah forgives . If you give someone the money and have doubts about the person say in your heart Allah forgive me and forgive him if I am wrong .

The Sadaqa is for the sake of Allah .

With Allah every action for the sake of him is profitable

You are a good person .

also is it something he can afford and not miss it (i.e. is it just a little thing to him) or will it make a hole in his pocket?

personally if it is something small I to me I prefer just to give it away and leave it too Allah.

I remember one day a few years ago I was approached three times on the same day in different places by elderly rustic Saudis in banged up cars who were staying in Emirates and were begging for petrol money so they could visit their families for the weekend

at the time I was able to give it too them without it causing me any problem so I just did, it was in my mind well these are nice old men but maybe they do this a lot and they are just saving money so they have more to give to their families etc, but on the other hand I didn't know that for sure, as far as I know they were angels who were sent by Allah to test me..

and anyone who asks you for something could be, this is not just imagination...

anyway what I am trying to say to you mikhal2 is if it is a small or easy amount to you maybe it is just nicer to give it to him and assume that it is important and a good deed?

[DrJonson]

This happens in Madinah quite often. People often approach you saying they've lost all their belongings, passport, tickets etc and need help getting back to Pakistan or need just enough money to get to Makkah. It's difficult to tell who's genuine and I am usually sceptical about everyone who has these stories. My husband, however, is if the opinion that we should not refuse anyone, ever, so gives what is in his pockets. Most, if not all of the time, they are not satisfied with this much and refuse to take anything other than a few hundred riyals. They'll also refuse practical help such as taking them to a policeman or to the authorities to report their loss or arrange for replacement passport/ticket. In the end, I would suggest that you give how much you want and how much you can and leave them to their deeds. If they are truthful, then at least you've helped a little; if not, then Allah is the reckoned, not us.

these ones you mention are obviously fake though, the uncle who has asked him is someone he has known for a while

maybe if he is worried about this he should ask around about him just to check, but remember that sometimes suspicion can be a sin too