[Rtebydou]

May Allah forgive me for asking such a stupid question:

I try my best to be the perfect muslim, following the example of nabiyullah sallahu alayhi wasalam.
In this case i try my very best to lower my gaze, and how tough is this task when living in a city like this (london).
So i'm a student at this college in west london, and there's a learning center or libary where students do extra study, i usually go there to catch up or to study in general. This beautiful girl who i don't know if she's muslim or not, for a while i noticed she looks at me at times, when i look back she looks away and talks to her frinds, today one of my friends told me that when i was walking out of the libary she was looking at me for a good 4 seconds, i try my best not to excite this situation, but i must not be harsh on this girl, and say "Don't give me looks" Neither would i walk up to her with the haram pick up line " U wanna go out with me" I still await to see how this situation elevates, I'd like to here from the muslim ummah how do i handle such a situation in a appropiate islamic way?

Jazakallah.

[DuesTyr]

May Allah forgive me for asking such a stupid question:

I try my best to be the perfect muslim, following the example of nabiyullah sallahu alayhi wasalam.
In this case i try my very best to lower my gaze, and how tough is this task when living in a city like this (london).
So i'm a student at this college in west london, and there's a learning center or libary where students do extra study, i usually go there to catch up or to study in general. This beautiful girl who i don't know if she's muslim or not, for a while i noticed she looks at me at times, when i look back she looks away and talks to her frinds, today one of my friends told me that when i was walking out of the libary she was looking at me for a good 4 seconds, i try my best not to excite this situation, but i must not be harsh on this girl, and say "Don't give me looks" Neither would i walk up to her with the haram pick up line " U wanna go out with me" I still await to see how this situation elevates, I'd like to here from the muslim ummah how do i handle such a situation in a appropiate islamic way?

Jazakallah.

As-salaamu Alaikum my brother Is'haaq,

In my humble opinion, the best thing to do in such a situation, would be to remove yourself entirely from such an environment. If it would be possible to find some other area to study in, then seek it out. As, muslims we should not even go NEAR zina, let alone actually commit any form of zina. Approaching the girl would provide absolutely no benefit, and since you already state that you are attracted to her, it would lead to potentially greater temptation.

Allah (SWT) knows best.

[Battwenue]

Put your finger on fire and you'll forget her.

On a more serious tone, ignore the girl and if you can't don't go to such public spaces. You yourself know what feelings it created in you so you should not entertain this 'game' by any means.

May Allah make it easy on us.

Wassalam.

[P1international]

This lecture helped me a lot with such matters. May Allah protect us. Ameen.

Courage To Control The Lustful Soul - Sheikh Sulaiman Moola

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYAfv4Su5fM

[Spongebob]

May Allah forgive me for asking such a stupid question:

I try my best to be the perfect muslim, following the example of nabiyullah sallahu alayhi wasalam.
In this case i try my very best to lower my gaze, and how tough is this task when living in a city like this (london).
So i'm a student at this college in west london, and there's a learning center or libary where students do extra study, i usually go there to catch up or to study in general. This beautiful girl who i don't know if she's muslim or not, for a while i noticed she looks at me at times, when i look back she looks away and talks to her frinds, today one of my friends told me that when i was walking out of the libary she was looking at me for a good 4 seconds, i try my best not to excite this situation, but i must not be harsh on this girl, and say "Don't give me looks" Neither would i walk up to her with the haram pick up line " U wanna go out with me" I still await to see how this situation elevates, I'd like to here from the muslim ummah how do i handle such a situation in a appropiate islamic way?

Jazakallah.

Go and try to be frank with her..Talk with her and see if you guys can patch up..Spend some time together and then marry ..If She's a Muslim..its good. If not..try and what if she converts? Allah will grant you much more reward. As Prophet (SAW) said..Your actions depend upon your intentions..your intention is NOT Satanic..Allah will understand this

[educationonlines]

Go and try to be frank with her..Talk with her and see if you guys can patch up..Spend some time together and then marry ..If She's a Muslim..its good. If not..try and what if she converts? Allah will grant you much more reward. As Prophet (SAW) said..Your actions depend upon your intentions..your intention is NOT Satanic..Allah will understand this

His intentions may not be satanic but your advice sure is!

It is haraam to "patch up...Spend some time together". Premarital relationships with ghayr mahram women are completely haraam.

Also, "Your actions depend upon your intentions..your intention is NOT Satanic" is an extremely faulty understanding of the hadeeth. The actions have to be permissible actions. Haraam actions cannot be justified by good intentions.

[CesseOveldset]

Go and try to be frank with her..Talk with her and see if you guys can patch up..Spend some time together and then marry ..If She's a Muslim..its good. If not..try and what if she converts? Allah will grant you much more reward. As Prophet (SAW) said..Your actions depend upon your intentions..your intention is NOT Satanic..Allah will understand this

Opps you are giving satanless answer, really.
He is with us all the time, satan I mean, and he try to confuse us, and lead us to sin, even though our inten ption looks pure, he wont leave us in this matter.
Brother ishaaq, I have been there done that, and that too in a library, and the girl in a hijab did look at me too. But thats a long story...
Stay away, clear.

Assalamu Alaikum

[meteeratymn]

salam alikum,
I think he speaks about spending time in public places in discussion withing group of more people.
w alikum assalam

[anatmob]

The story of Barsisa the monk comes in mind.

Perhaps br amr123 can post it,

[Podosinovik]

May Allah forgive me for asking such a stupid question:

I try my best to be the perfect muslim, following the example of nabiyullah sallahu alayhi wasalam.
In this case i try my very best to lower my gaze, and how tough is this task when living in a city like this (london).
So i'm a student at this college in west london, and there's a learning center or libary where students do extra study, i usually go there to catch up or to study in general. This beautiful girl who i don't know if she's muslim or not, for a while i noticed she looks at me at times, when i look back she looks away and talks to her frinds, today one of my friends told me that when i was walking out of the libary she was looking at me for a good 4 seconds, i try my best not to excite this situation, but i must not be harsh on this girl, and say "Don't give me looks" Neither would i walk up to her with the haram pick up line " U wanna go out with me" I still await to see how this situation elevates, I'd like to here from the muslim ummah how do i handle such a situation in a appropiate islamic way?

Jazakallah.

[ugosanchezo]

Words that have spoiled many boys' lives "Dude shes looking at you!"

[P1international]

Words that have spoiled many boys' lives "Dude shes looking at you!"

Girls are like a potrait painting on the wall. Whichever angle you look at it, she is looking at you. Its shaytaans net to 'fish' men. We often fall for it. May Allah protect us.

[Efksqhyu]

find her brother or her dad and ask for her hand in marraige. This will either end it or fix it.

[Battwenue]

find her brother or her dad and ask for her hand in marraige. This will either end it or fix it.

Why marry her right now when he doesn't know her character, lineage, et al?
Not a good advice.

[Efksqhyu]

Why marry her right now when he doesn't know her character, lineage, et al?
Not a good advice.

well i dont think her father will give her to br.Is'haaq ibn Ahmad, and if he proposes her outlook may change.

[Efksqhyu]

well i dont think her father will give her to br.Is'haaq ibn Ahmad, and if he proposes her outlook may change.

plus if they marry straight away at least they will be saved from sin.

[harriettvanders]

Brother, don't give yourself up to any women. Your life is not a play thing and don't let others play with it. I always say that men can destroy their enemies through their physical strength and women can destroy their enemies through their emotional strength. Both have strengths!!! You should give yourself up to Allah only. Did that women create you? Did she sustain you? No. All of a sudden she butts in to your life and tries to take away your freedom of obedience to Allah. Don't take any of it. If anything, you should have hatred for what she is trying to do if she is indeed trying to do it. But remember that also the shaytaan will try and trick you and so when you actually convince yourself that you should speak to her and ignore your concience, she would be like "I was never interested in you. I was just looking at you for another reason. I will call the police if you don't leave me alone". And then that's it brother. You've made the intention and the decision and you actually walked towards with all your ability to commit zina or atleast involve yourself into a fahsha relationship, and that could be enough to get you the sin wallaahu A'lam. And this is despite you failing to do what you desired. How decieving are the promises of shaytan.

[P1international]

The story of the pious monk Barsisa mentioned in the Quran, and how shaytaan trapped him step by step.



Barsisa, the worshipper

At the time of Bani Israel, there was a man in a small village, called Barsisa. He was, what you call, a monk. But he was a true Christian. He believed in Tawheed and believed Isa (peace be upon him) was a messenger of Allah. One day three brothers decided to go for Jihad. But they had a sister and they did not want to leave her alone. So they went looking for someone to take care of her. The town people suggested to leave her with Barsisa, because of his piety. So they went to him and when they asked him, he said, "I seek refuge from the cursed Shaytan" and said No! This was because he was scared of falling into sin ( due to the potential fitnah it may cause). Then Shaytan came to Barsisa in the form of Waswasah (Whisperings). Shaytan is very smart and knew Barsisa had a soft heart. So he told Barsisa, "What if they can’t find someone good and leave her with someone bad, wouldn’t that be your fault?" Now Barsisa did not realise this was Shaytan whispering in his heart, and because of his compassion for others, he decided to accept their request and help the woman.

He let her stay in a house opposite the church. He did this so that it would be easy for him to leave her her food outside the church and she could come get it herself. But after sometime, shaytan returned. This time he told Barsisa, "Why don’t you leave the food closer for her, so that people don’t see her moving back and forth alone!" Barsisa agreed and started leaving the food outside the house. But shaytan wasn’t happy with this either, so sometime later, he returned and ask Barsisa, "Why don’t you go in and leave it on the table, so that no one sees her coming out and going in alone all the time!" Again, Barsisa agreed and he started leaving the food on the table.

Then as time went by, Shaytan returned and said to him, "Why don’t you talk to her, she is all alone and has no one to talk to!" Barsisa agreed and started talking to her from behind a door (so as to screen himself). But this would lead them to almost shouting to each other to here themselves. Shaytan asked Barsisa to just go in and talk to her, and finally, he (Shaytan) had got the alone in a room. Shaytan had completed the difficult part. It wasn’t after Barsisa and the woman committed fornication. And to make things worse, she also became pregnant. As soon as the baby was born, Shaytan returned, and said to Barsisa, "What have you done? Look at the result of your evil (ie the child), get ride of the evidence otherwise the brothers will kill you!" Barsisa killed the baby and buried it in the same room the woman was in. Shaytan then told Barsisa, "Do you think you can kill the child of a woman and expect her not to tell anyone?!" and So Barsisa killed her and buried her along side the baby! He then made a fake grace outside and when her brothers returned, he informed them that she died of illness. After seeing the grave and make dua for her, they returned home and accepted Allah’s decree.

Later that night, Shaytan came to them in their dream and informed them about what Barsisa had done and where the child and their sister could be found. The brother got up upset and confused, and informed his brothers of the dream, and they both said they had the same dream. So they believed that it must be true, and when and dug up the fake grave and found it empty. They then dug the placed shaytan showed them in the dream and found the child and woman!

Furious, the brothers took Barsisa to the Leader to get his punishment. Barsisa knew that he would be given the death penalty. Shaytan came to Barsisa again, for the final time this time. This time he revealed himself and told him he was the one whispering the thoughts to him. And he said that he could save Barsisa, and as long as Barsisa makes sujood to him! Barsisa, out of desperation made Sujood to him , this confirmed his Kufr (disbelief) and Shaytan said to him "I am free of you, I fear Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!" and left Barsisa was stonned to death and on the day of judgement he will be resurrected making Sujood to Shaytan!

So look how shaytan tricked him. He came to him as a friend, but was infact his biggest enemy!

(Their allies deceived them) like Shaitân (Satan), when he says to man: "Disbelieve in Allâh." But when (man) disbelieves in Allâh, Shaitân (Satan) says: "I am free of you, I fear Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that exists)!" (Al-Hashr 59:16)

Shaytan will never make you sin directly, he will always trick you using Waswasah and he is more patient than any of us. So we should always seek refuge in Allah from Shayatn. Never think you have anough knowledge or are strong enough to take on Shaytan. This is why the Scholars of Islam are the ones with the most Taqwa, fear of Allah. So reflect on the story, if Shaytan told Barsisa to make sujood in the beginning, Barsisa would have said no staright away, but Shaytan has a plan in hand it was a step by step policy that made Barsisa finally breakdown and commit Kufr.

[truck]

Salaam brother,
I feel for you I know how hard situations like this can be but this just isn't when your single or studying this is something we have to deal with throughout live even when your married and you have a beard and your working, this is something which is very difficult to avoid living in the western world.

A hadith comes to mind which I am posting just so it puts you off any temptation because this duniya is temptation, not sure the authenticity of this hadith but it's still worth a read.

In hadith the Prophet strongly warns the Believers about the seriousness of shaking hands with women. It was narrated on Malik bin Yassir that Rasool Allah said that it is better for a Believer to be struck in the head with a hot iron rod than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him.[Tabarani & Baihaqqi]

Rasulullah S.A.W. said "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head....rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women" Rasulullah S.A.W. said "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head....rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women"

Brother stay in wudhu, keep nafl fasting, keep on top of your salah, grow a beard perform zikr and inshallah you will have the strength grated to you from the almighty to lower your gaze.
May ALLah grant us all the strength in whatever situation we are in to stay away from the shaytaaan!