[AnetTeilor]

Salaamu alaiykum

[educationonlines]

The easiest solution to this is not to get involved in any matter with these sisters. They may honestly not know if they're doing any wrong or not. If they try to speak to you casually and make conversation, tell them you cannot because it is not permissible Islamically to have a casual relationship of any kind and that should be sufficient. Also, you should try not to be in an environment where ghayr mahram muslimahs are going to interact with you.

[kimaddison]

Brothers and sisters can behave inapproprate with each other.It's something we all need to be very careful of.And one can do so without being overly paranoid or being suspcious of all Muslimahs.By all means protect yourself.

[AnetTeilor]

The easiest solution to this is not to get involved in any matter with these sisters. They may honestly not know if they're doing any wrong or not. If they try to speak to you casually and make conversation, tell them you cannot because it is not permissible Islamically to have a casual relationship of any kind and that should be sufficient. Also, you should try not to be in an environment where ghayr mahram muslimahs are going to interact with you.

Allahu musta'an

[maonnjtip]

Some of them are in the same class as me so it's a daily thing. But would not getting involved with them solve the hatred in my heart towards them? I have a feeling that it may go away, but once I either remember them or I see them, it will come back again. It's scary because I'm actually wishing and saying something very evil about my own muslim sisters! I don't know why I can't control this anger but I guess it's the betrayal from some of them. It's the betrayal that whenever I honestly try and maintain a straight forward relationship with them, they try and twist that into an invitation and to try and play a little game. Just that little look they have in their eyes and that prolonged stare - you know what I mean - it really makes them the most ugliest in my sight IMHO. How can you walk around pretending you're all modest and then give me that look? That's kind of like hypocrisy and betrayal. But they're still my muslim sisters? So I can't say things like that? If they physically make a move (like pull me or fall on me), and Allah knows best, I have a fear that I will punch them. Literally, destroy their face for good so they become an example to everyone else. And any other sister or brother that tries and do something to defend that person I will probably destroy them too. That's how serious and dangerous the situation is...
Allahu musta'an

All I'm going to say is ... I get it.

[Mehntswx]

could be arrogance on your part....maybe they never intend anything bad....but you think she must be trying to seduce you because your so special...maybe whatever you think of them...the thoughts are only in your mind...and those kinds of thoughts did not even cross the minds of these girls

maybe the problem is in the way you think and not with them....wallahu alam

but sometimes this stuff is completely in the head of a guy....this is also a lesson to sisters...because you could ask a brother an innocent question...or even just answer his question...and just by doing that simple thing that you will not think twice about...this guy will now think that you are interested in him
You may accidently catch the gaze of a person and they will think this girl was looking at me...she likes me or is trying to seduce me....if many cases these thoughts are only in a persons head

In any case..keep contact with them to a minimal...only when absolutely necessary
Try to keep a good opinion of people

[educationonlines]

Some of them are in the same class as me so it's a daily thing. But would not getting involved with them solve the hatred in my heart towards them? I have a feeling that it may go away, but once I either remember them or I see them, it will come back again. It's scary because I'm actually wishing and saying something very evil about my own muslim sisters! I don't know why I can't control this anger but I guess it's the betrayal from some of them. It's the betrayal that whenever I honestly try and maintain a straight forward relationship with them, they try and twist that into an invitation and to try and play a little game. Just that little look they have in their eyes and that prolonged stare - you know what I mean - it really makes them the most ugliest in my sight IMHO. How can you walk around pretending you're all modest and then give me that look? That's kind of like hypocrisy and betrayal. But they're still my muslim sisters? So I can't say things like that? If they physically make a move (like pull me or fall on me), and Allah knows best, I have a fear that I will punch them. Literally, destroy their face for good so they become an example to everyone else. And any other sister or brother that tries and do something to defend that person I will probably destroy them too. That's how serious and dangerous the situation is...
Allahu musta'an

What do you mean by "straight forward relationship"? Just tell them you cannot speak to them and do not speak to them. They'll leave you alone. Maintaining any sort of relationship with ghayr mahram women only leads to disaster. They may not know if they're doing anything. In fact, your "straight forward relationship" probably confuses them into thinking you're lax in your deen, even if you're really not and that is probably not the impression you want to give.

[AnetTeilor]

could be arrogance on your part....maybe they never intend anything bad....but you think she must be trying to seduce you because your so special...maybe whatever you think of them...the thoughts are only in your mind...and those kinds of thoughts did not even cross the minds of these girls

maybe the problem is in the way you think and not with them....wallahu alam

but sometimes this stuff is completely in the head of a guy....this is also a lesson to sisters...because you could ask a brother an innocent question...or even just answer his question...and just by doing that simple thing that you will not think twice about...this guy will now think that you are interested in him
You may accidently catch the gaze of a person and they will think this girl was looking at me...she likes me or is trying to seduce me....if many cases these thoughts are only in a persons head

In any case..keep contact with them to a minimal...only when absolutely necessary
Try to keep a good opinion of people

Jazakallahu khaiyrun

[Garry Richardson]

Brother, my advice to you is never turn to physical force. It could have drastic consequences. If you feel so angry that you feel like physically assaulting them leave the area where the provocation is.

To ignore them would be the best option. If you are unable to ignore totally due to interaction that is sometimes enforced in a classroom environment speak to the bare minimum with your gaze averted.

[AnetTeilor]

What do you mean by "straight forward relationship"? Just tell them you cannot speak to them and do not speak to them. They'll leave you alone. Maintaining any sort of relationship with ghayr mahram women only leads to disaster. They may not know if they're doing anything. In fact, your "straight forward relationship" probably confuses them into thinking you're lax in your deen, even if you're really not and that is probably not the impression you want to give.

Just straight forward.

[AnetTeilor]

Brother, my advice to you is never turn to physical force. It could have drastic consequences. If you feel so angry that you feel like physically assaulting them leave the area where the provocation is.

To ignore them would be the best option. If you are unable to ignore totally due to interaction that is sometimes enforced in a classroom environment speak to the bare minimum with your gaze averted.

lol.

[maonnjtip]

Just a suggestion - perhaps talk to someone who can actually assist you over come this. It sounds like you clearly have a lot of anger, and say if one day you do settle down and marry - would you be able to control this anger towards your wife...knowing you feel the way you do?

We as humans can be very cruel, doesn't matter where you are from. I have witnessed first hand two sisters who have corrupted memebers of my family, one turned my brother against our mother and father, the other turned my other brother against me! They seem to forget their actions have consequences, and that is what gets me through, knowing they will have to answer to Allah.

But you must also remember that women in Islam are respected. Is it not said somewhere that heaven lays at your mothers feet?

You can't paint everyone with the same brush, otherwise it will seriously cause problems in your future.

If you are really concerned and really want to do something about it, then that's a journey you need to take to better this state of mind. Again this is only a suggestion.

This probably isn't much help, I'm sorry

[TerAlelmlor]

Do you really get approached by women that often? I doubt it. And if you do, growing a sunnah beard and wearing a turban should help with that.

[Efksqhyu]

I would say that this feeling could be a good sign you just need to channel it carefully.

[AnetTeilor]

Do you really get approached by women that often? I doubt it. And if you do, growing a sunnah beard and wearing a turban should help with that.

No I don't.

[Efksqhyu]

No I don't. It's not the approach. It's the look when you happen to cross or enter a bus etc. (and when I say appproaches I don't mean actually approaches but just like they have a question, which happens rarely alhamdullilah). But I am afraid a day will come when that approach will be made by someone who is highly ignorant or highly mischeivous, and that's why I'm setting a defense mechanism :S. Funny thing is that growing a sunnah beard and wearing a turban actually might make it worse because then they think that you are the pious ideal man for them and they have been constantly told since young that go for a pious man.

just take a chill pill

[Mehntswx]

Jazakallahu khaiyrun. You could be right. But in any case, I just want to make sure nothing escalates hence the defense mechanism if you know what I mean. And I know it's in my head a lot of the times, but that doesn't change the fact that I won't take the risk to even think like that and thus cause my self to be a potential towards falling for someone. Sometimes I feel as if I should just ignore the sisters completely. Completely! Ya'ni just don't care whatever happens to them and pray that Allah takes care of them and give them good things and that they look out for each other (unless it's something serious like phsical beating by non-muslims). Pretend they don't exist and whenever they're there, just pretend they're not. And if they do try and make you acknowledge their existance, just shoo it off like an illusion. And if they try and physically compel you, show them that just because they're female, doesn't mean that you won't hit them. Ah...that makes me feel much better alhamdullilah. Is this a good stance inshallah?

its good that you stay away from them...but at the same time don't think that these girls are the ones that have a problem...we should always think of ourselves as the worst of people and try and think good of others.
You should just ignore them completely and avoid them as much as you possibly can. if someone does happen to approach you don't read into it too much...if its a serious question just answer it and be on your way and don't give it a second thought...if you see someone look at you...think to yourself most likely its an accidental look...or she may just be daydreaming

rather than being angry at the girls...be angry at shaytan for putting these bad thoughts in your head about others

also there needs to be a balance here...don't think that now you must be kind towards non-mahrams because again remember that the thoughts that occur to you also occur to women too...so acts of kindness..smiling at someone etc can all lead to another person thinking you are interested in them

the key is to avoid interaction as much as possible...lower your gaze as much as possible...keep Allah in your heart and make dua that Allah keep the remembrance of any ghair away from your heart

[TerAlelmlor]

No I don't. It's not the approach. It's the look when you happen to cross or enter a bus etc. (and when I say appproaches I don't mean actually approaches but just like they have a question, which happens rarely alhamdullilah). But I am afraid a day will come when that approach will be made by someone who is highly ignorant or highly mischeivous, and that's why I'm setting a defense mechanism :S. Funny thing is that growing a sunnah beard and wearing a turban actually might make it worse because then they think that you are the pious ideal man for them and they have been constantly told since young that go for a pious man.

Seems to me the only way you would know if someone was looking at you is if you were looking at them. So should the other person get angry at you for a passing glance? The muslimah who is pious enough to want a man who wears a sunnah beard and turban, would not interact with a ghayr mahram beyond an accidental glance unless she is in need. Brother, this is all just in your head. There is no reason for you to get angry at people.

Your focus should be on yourself. Simply remove yourself from the situation. This was the approach of Yusuf Then leave your affair to Allah.

May Allah bless you.

[Mehntswx]

Do you really get approached by women that often? I doubt it. And if you do, growing a sunnah beard and wearing a turban should help with that.

not sure where your from.....but in many cases the sunnah beard and imamah can do the opposite of what you said...but that is no excuse not to adopt the sunnah...just make sure your niyyah is correct

[maonnjtip]

Sister, I said this happens to those who are my non-mahram. My mother and all my blood sisters are my mahram and so I respect them. My wife can never be a source of zina so that's an exception. But when it comes to my other non-mahram (including my cousins and neighbours, despite their closeness), then the defense mechanism kicks in. It is stories like the one you mentioned that I have such a defense mechanism. I want to make them know that I'm not a guy to mess with. Do you know what I mean now?

I understood you clearly the first time brother, maybe I didn't go in depth enough to explain properly but it's quite difficult to do this.
Yes my experiences haven't been pleasant. I think there are other ways that you can show that perhaps your a little too hostile for people.

I mean, everyone looks! Everyone stares. People outside the faith will never understand unless they educated themselves, and people in Islam get religion and culture completely mixed up and they will intertwine the two which is wrong.

You don't want to do anything you will live to regret, and it will all fall on you.

When I referred to heaven at your mothers feet, it was more for you to remember that one day these young women, will to be mothers, wives, and please remember that all these women you think badly of, they are someone's child, who was brought into the world and raised with love, just as my mother did with me, your mother with you. As a mother, all we can do is our best. As a wife, a sister, a daughter, granddaughter etc, the same is flipped it were the other way around.

I understand it is hard, I myself am someone who thinks deeply, can misread and read too much into things. I get irritated easily, but these are my flaws that I openly accept with hopes of improvement.

If you want to ignore other sisters because you feel this is the only solution that is your choice, keeping yourself to yourself isn't a bad thing, BUT like you said in regards to beard and turban...this too may attract more attention. I think no matter what, your never really going to resolve the situation, but learn from it. Adapt and find soltions.

I personally, do not ever think it is right to physically touch something that does not belong to you, including physical abuse.
Unless you are a parent, it is quite hard to relate. If my daughter came home to me and said a brother had beaten her for no reason, is unthinkable. My children are mine, who are you or anyone else to touch them? Peoples children are a precious gift.

Even those who are bad in the world, do you think they were born bad? Aren't all children born innocent?

Anyway...when you think of such things, just remember that if you were to follow through...the other people that will be effected and hurt. You may not care for these people, but if it was to happen to someone in your family, wouldn't you think the same?