[Iphone]

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[Kennypor]

Have you thought about the dream of the angel being favourable to marry him, as it could have been something good for you on the long run, not the marriage itself.

“…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

Since you have already divorced him, its better not to keep any feelings for him. May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen.

[fruttomma]

We never married exactly. We were engaged for a long time but in the end I walked out due to personal reasons. This second time we came back together and he was shia all of a sudden. I admit the first time I left him it lead me to become muslim( since I was a kafira then). This second time I left him I realized the value of standing up for the right path and became a lot more serious about working for my akhirah. I also gained a lot of knowledge researching. I sometimes do think Allah did this as a test to make me a better servant but I can't get over the guilt of leaving him and his family and all the friends I gained in this deception. They are all such good people but so blind. Over that i can't get over my 30 visions concerning this matter. Yet that's not the most important thing since visions are not solid proof.

You have no duty to him but you have a duty to your Creator. Hence, do not feel any guilt with regards to leaving him for the sake of Allah

[Kennypor]

Jazakullah hu khairun brother ahmad. I don't exactly feel guilt about leaving but rather leaving them on the wrong path.

Sister Guidance comes from Allah Ta'ala alone. Our duty is only to spread the message. Which you have done. Whether he will be guided today, or after a month or after many years or never, only Allah knows. Make dua for him and all of us. This is what we can do.

[t78VPkdO]

Dear Brothers and sisters,

My ex and I wanted to get married but as days went by I found out he converted to shiaism. My istikharahs for marriage came out good even after he converted. I even saw an angel once telling me to convince him to not let go of me and to keep supporting him and that eventually things would be okay. I didn't know what to do and he kept begging me to look into shiaism so I converted and gave it a chance. I could not have been more miserable than those 8 months. The first day I accepted I cried all night asking myself how I had just sold my soul to the devil. Eventually I got over it a bit and went from being a religious practicing sunni to a normal shia. I would pray and read quran but never more because I feared searching for knowledge. He told me he wanted me to become as knowledgeable as he was in shiaism and to dedicate myself to his purpose of spreading shiaism to the world. I began to read to satisfy his heart and I swear everyday was more painful than the next. Eventually I even had a shia roommate move in with me and it brought some comfort to me and honestly i did learn some good stuff from her. Yet I admit I also learned some crazy things and I felt so uncomfortable at times. So finally I even began Shia school on a full time basis and I swear I have never gone into deeper depression than I did at this time. I had a complete nervous breakdown one time and I cried all the time and became so emotional over little things and tried to run away from home several times and the guilt caused the worst of behavior in me. I usually never yell or scream and I began doing that on a regular basis and I became very hostile towards him. I threw up randomly one day at a friend's wedding thinking of what I had done and I even stopped talking to him and this weird burst of hatred grew within me. Eventually one day I realized I could not admit to him that I didn't like being shia so I told him I wanted to leave him and travel back to Syria which at the time was in the middle of a revolution. He stopped me that time and the million other times I told him I didn't want to do this anymore. He thought I was being impatient because we weren't getting married and that was one of the excuses I used cause I knew he couldn't do it and that would give me a door to leave immediately. Finally one day I left shiaism and told him the truth that I never felt for it and that I didn't want to marry him. He was so hurt and over that he as well gained this hatred towards me after the behavior he had seen from me. Now the issue is even after I tried to put him behind I can't get over my dreams and my emotions for him as much as I try. Recently when I was about to travel I received a dream in which a prophet showed me he was lost. I was so upset and I cancelled my trip thinking maybe I should go back and help him. I love him a lot unfortunately as corny as that sounds and I've tried praying to get rid of my emotions for him many times but his heart is just so pure that it's hard.I've been reading brother tripolysunnis posts which have helped me a lot. thank you. I swear Brother I would pay for your plane ticket to get you here so that you could explain to my ex and his group all the falsehood they believe in. Can anyone give me a piece of advice. Should I really fly Brother tripolysunni in for some explanation or go explain myself or should I just let this go?

which country are you in now?

[StincPriene]

May Allah make it easy for you. Sister, it's not permissible for a female to give any such personal dawah to a non-mahram male. It would be haram for you to contact him for any such reasons. Just try first to heal youself spiritually and devolop ur self islamically and just say audhubillah and hahawla wala quwwa whenever shaytan should bring his thoughts or dreams to your mind. seek Allah's help out of this. Dont keep anything from him withyou. make sincere tawbah and duas . Read with translation lots of Quran, do istighfar, duroods Zikr and sadaqah. pray salaah regularly. try to join a group of pious muslimas.

[gluckmeea]

al-Salamu 'Aleykum,

Dear sister, you saw an ugly side of Shiism, what you didn't see from it is even greater and more horrible.

Now I wasn't surprised when I read this, because this is usually done by Shia men to Sunni women, it happens more often and I've heard it many many times, sometimes they're even tricked into Mut'ah marriage not knowing what it is, then abandoned with their children, Alhamdulillah you're not one of those cases.

When you fall in love with any man, and he sees that you're emotional and very attached to him, then tells you to change your religion to Twelverism, that is a low and dishonorable act, why didn't he become an average Muslim instead? why must you be the one to change to what he likes? What makes him think that he can control your religion and your relation with Allah? And then if you leave Shiism he hates you for it!? that is despicable to say the least.

The man is lost but neither me or you can guide him, even if you open his books and show him all the un-islamic quotations he will not change his mind, unless Allah opens his chest for Islam then he'll embrace truth. Buying me a ticket won't do, you just have to let go and see for yourself that if he truly loves you, then he should run after you and become a Sunni since we Sunnies love Ahlul-Bayt and the Sahaba, but by telling you to become a Shia he's telling you to hate the people you love (i.e. Sahaba).

Now doing istikhara is not helpful when marrying a deviant who has shirki/kufri beliefs, this type of marriage should be avoided in the first place because it angers Allah, Allah would love for Muslim women to marry pious Muslim men, not extreme deviants, that's like doing Istikhara before going out on a date. We know that the date will anger Allah so why do we do Istikhara in the first place? In the end Allah guided you through him, and Subhanallah the man himself was later misguided, which reminds me of story I heard, that some scholars who are very busy in calling Kouffar to Islam, and then the Kouffar embrace Islam, and on the day of judgement they would go to heaven and try searching for the scholars who guided them but it turns out the scholars weren't in heaven, they went to hell, so the converts ask them "Why are you in hell!?" the scholars say "We invited you to the path of Allah but we ourselves never followed it." so regardless, you should LEARN from your mistake and next time insha-Allah marry the man who pleases Allah.

Things to look for in a man by priority:

1-His Deen (Madhab and Manhaj and such, he has to be from Ahlul-Sunnah regardless if he's Hanafi, Sufi, Salafi, Shafi'i, non-Madhabi ect...).

2-Does he practice his Deen (Even if his deen is proper he may not be practicing and this is not what you want).

3-His behavior and Akhlaq (Even if he practices and has a long beard he may not behave like a Muslim, and if he doesn't treat you like a Muslim then it'll be troublesome).

4-His looks (If he doesn't physically please you, then it's not recommended, some women might have a strong Iman so they'd drop this point altogether, good for them).

5-His Education and Status (Does he have a job, is he educated or an ignorant, can he provide for your children ect..).

6-His family environment (In simple terms, if his family are thugs they may interfere in your marriage and tear it apart).

wal-Salam 'Aleykum,

[illiniastibly]

Forgive me if this sounds a little upfront, but there's two points I wish to highlight.

Firstly If one already has an emotional attachment prior to praying salat ul istikhara, it defeats the objective and effectiveness of the prayer. Secondly as muslins our choice in marriage is not dictated to us by love, but our marriage dictates who we chose to love, to entwine destinies with, and therefore i cannot emphasise enough that love should derive from the Nikah and not prior to that.

Humans are feeble creatures, they are impressionable, easily manipulated and once entwined in this net it is very difficult to escape therefore your obsession with this particular individual will not end easily and by considering keeping any further communication with that individual you are only going to make things worse for yourself.

May Allah make things easy for you