[gkihueonhjh]

Hello everybody, I have beeeeeeeeen so busy not had chance to come on here.
I finally got engaged 2 weeks ago. I am just thinking about my wedding.
I dont want anything fancy. What is the proper way for a muslim wedding?
Would love to know your ideas! thanks

[gastabegree]

Congratulations aapa!
its great to know that you are aiming for a simple marriage ceremony.
May Allah SWT grant barakah in your nikaah and in your life. Aameen.

What a lucky guy your would-be husband is, even before marriage, you are looking at cutting costs, and doing away with unnecessary expenses signs of a successful marriage I must say Allahumma barik fi hee.

Here is a wonderful article on the need for a simple wedding ceremony.

http://www.inter-islam.org/RightsDuties/WEDDINGS.html



Disagreeable customs, innovations and forbidden practises associated with Wedding:

http://www.shariahprogram.ca/women-i...weddings.shtml

Shaykh (Maulana) Saleem Dhorat writes, “In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon. Some examples are:

1) Displaying the bride on stage;

2) Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;

3) Receiving guests in the hall;

4) The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.

5) It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) did not give Ali (RA) anything except Dua”

http://www.shariahprogram.ca/women-i...weddings.shtml

Shaykh (Maulana) Saleem Dhorat previously narrates the blessed wedding of Siyyidituna Fatima and Sayydina Ali (RA) and concludes that the following methods can be derived from it:

1) The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded as sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2) To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3) There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4) It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5) If the father of the girl is a Scholar or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.

6) It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7) It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8) It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam)?

9) The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.

10) There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.

11) Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12) It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.

13) The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.

14) For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of Hijaab.

15) It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16) Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:

a. Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);

b. To give necessary items;

c. A show should not be made of whatever is given.

17) It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah. In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

18) To delay Nikah after the engagement is un-Islamic.


Read the full (very informative) article here

[SiM7W2zi]

I apologize in advance...because my post will be all over the place.....

I am in a dilemma.... and don't know how to get out of the situation? or fix it ..make it 'islamic' as possible?

At the time my dad booked the hall for the wedding reception (baraat) I did not know of the disagreeable customs mentioned in the article.
The hall is already booked and a non-refundable deposit has already been made. Now I am thinking I could have convinced my family of not even having a baraat day and just for the guy's side to host a walimah. Although it is not necessary for the parents of the bride to host a reception, is it haram and sinful for them to do so?...To invite guests and give a dinner before the 'rukhsati'/ zifaf at a hall?

There are three main days for the wedding in pakistani culture: the mehndi, the barat/nikah, and the walimah. I am still in the process of convincing my family to not have a mehndi. inshAllah.
In the weddings here... people go all out... with the expenses. I was thinking how I am being 'islamic' by having a minimum guest list, getting a small banquet hall, no photgraphy or videography, and nasheeds and no music, islamic speeches, Quran, no mixing, ...no extra expenses. There's a lot of customs I am trying to bust from previous weddings done in our family (ref: sunnah marriage movement) and inshAllah I will be successful inshAllah.

may Allah guide us all to have simple Islamic weddings full of His SWT mercy and blessings. ameen

How do I convince the families for:
-no cake cutting
-no sitting on stage together
-no indo-pak customs (dhood pilayi, throwing flower petals on groom and baraat, holding Quran above the bride's head upon rukhsati, etc.)


I also need your suggestions for another important thing: the hall that is booked has a partition in the middle for the 'segregation' (I initially thought that would be okay...because most of the guests are close family, and I saw it happen at many friends' weddings)... but there is no curtain or wall in between. Any suggestions for how to make a partition or wall between the two sides of the hall? I really need ideas...

JazakAllah Khair to everyone in advance for suggestions.
please pray for me...
i want to have a wedding full of haya and barakah. and Allah's pleasure.
inshAllah.

http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...edding-customs

[fedelwfget]

brother nomadic how many people go overboard with islamic things at marriages? Please list me some examples.

[SiM7W2zi]

Some of the customs are not all anti islamic persay and some are!! In your situation try to limit the haram as much as possible.
I have seen even relegious brother cowering to parents emotional black mail!!
As for seperation, if you can't enforce physical barriar then atleast keep it segrgrated. My parents weren't happy about many things but beng stubborn did the job. The main thing is marriage is not a funeral and is a happy occasion for both families so do your best to limit haram .
Do not go overboard with islamic thing. There is appropriate place for these things. Perhaps a 5 minutes reminder in english about virtues of marriage.
Allahualam

InshAllah that is what my intention is... to limit the haram as much as possible. may Allah have mercy on us. ameen

if you don't mind sharing.... which things did you limit and took a stand against? Overall, did you feel you had an 'islamic' wedding? Was it completely segregated with barrier? Did the couple sit on the stage together or in separate halls/rooms?

you mentioned that not all the customs are anti Islamic... please elaborate on which ones are totally unacceptable (i.e. haram/sinful)?

I'm just trying to get good ideas iA.

[SiM7W2zi]

sister Pakistani-lady,

Congratulations for your baat-pakki engagement mashAllah. MAy Allah SWT bless you with a barakah-filled marriage inshAllah.

dua mein yaad...

[fedelwfget]

brother Nomadic I wish the weddings I attended felt like a darse. Most of the weddings I have been to felt like something out of bollywood.

[gkihueonhjh]

Thank you all for such lovely comments. I really appreciate this. I have spoken to my fiance he is not fussed either and would love to have simple cermony and a beautiful nikah. My parents are also happy with this. I just want a nice little small wedding but i know other family members are going to say that my wedding was boring and i didnt wear the traditional lenga and do all the other stuff...help!!!

[fruttomma]

Thank you all for such lovely comments. I really appreciate this. I have spoken to my fiance he is not fussed either and would love to have simple cermony and a beautiful nikah. My parents are also happy with this. I just want a nice little small wedding but i know other family members are going to say that my wedding was boring and i didnt wear the traditional lenga and do all the other stuff...help!!!

, good on you guys. If you, your fiancé and your parents are happy, then forget your relatives, their opinion doesn't really matter. Invite them and maybe they will be impressed by the tranquillity and the spirituality of a simple wedding and walima. And pray for them

[gastabegree]

Hadrath Malik Bin Dinar (rh) says:
"When I knew the mean nature of the world, I became careless of its opinions about me and my acts" -

[gkihueonhjh]

inshallah i will find peace

[Kokomoxddcvcv]

Congratulations on your wedding, sister.

Just remember sis - Just please Allah, He will make everyone pleased with you.

" Tum who Ek ko raazi karlo, woh ek-ek ko tum se raazi kar lega."