[VotsUtegems]

Asc,

This my first ever post on forum so I apologise in advance if it is a little hard to read. I wanted to get some advice, I have been feeling a little lost and depressed and worried about the future. I'm in my early 20s and the idea of marriage has been cropping up more and more in my head, I'm in no rush to actually get married however I'm worried if it will ever happen for me. I'm somewhat smart and is known as a geek which I don't mind but you always hear men choose looks over brains, it this true? not that I would say I'm ugly (I don't think anyone is ugly) but I don't class myself as one of the pretty girls either, they're are part of my body I like however lately I can't stop obsessing over the small faults how can I overcome this? also I try to dress modestly, I'm not a 'look at me' type girl, however there are girls like that and guys hover around them all day and I think is that what guys want? also I think its dicey territory when girls and guys are friends, even at university when interacting with guys I keep them at arms length and keep the condensation clean or avoid them when things get inappropriate. however most of the people I know think that its ok to be friends with guys, and I end up being called the weird one so I avoid social gathering simply to avoid the mixing, I wonder how am I going to meet someone without compromising my religion? I'd like to think i'm a good person, I'm not perfect but try to consciously try to better myself in all aspects of my life and be a better person, i guess i just wondering is this enough? and how should I go about finding a good spouse?

jazakallah

[gariharrr]

dont worry sister one day you will get married and those "pretty" girls eventualy loose their looks, get pregnet, or do drugs just be patient with allah

[casinobonusa]

Bismihee Ta'aala

Asalamualaikum.

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Look sister don't worry about finding the right guy. When the time comes, you will find the right person for you. Allah (SWT) has it written for every-one if they they will get married, and to whom they will marry. Just make sure you don't fall into haram. If you do find a guy you like then take it to your parents. Talk in front of mehrams and get to know each other.

If you do everything in a halal manner, then Allah (SWT) will put barakah (blessings) in your marriage insha Allah.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you have to get to know the brother extensively before getting married. Look how many marriages fail today. Majority of these marriages went that route, and they still failed. Not only did they fail, but they also displeased Allah (SWT) by doing haram before hand.

Put your faith in Allah (SWT) and he will show you the way and find the right one for you insha Allah.

[fiettariaps]

You have some jewels within yourself, only a jeweler can recognize them, so let that jeweler come and it will come soon, when Allah has ordained for you. You don't have to indulge in prohibited actions to get married, do good, you get good rewards. Importantly till the jeweler comes to your reach, you don't have to think about him, stop thinking about marriage now, it is one of the weapon of Satan to exploit our precious time and emotions by giving false impressions of future. We dont have access to future, and cant control any part of decisions made my Allah so its better to be hoping for good, and asking His favors.

[DoctorQuquriramba]

inshALLAH you will get married if Allah has written for you. Let your elders know about your intention and ask them to find a suitable guy for you

[Loopyjr]

Speaking from experience, initially men are driven solely by looks, but when they get a bit older and wiser, the marriage partner has to be more than just beautiful and, in my case, my wife's beautiful personality outshone her looks and that's what I went for.

[Percocetti]

welcome to the forum sis

its true that guys are shallow and prefer looks over personality...even many of the religious ones but don't compromise your deen for these types of people...as they are the same type of people that get bored of their wife after sometimes and have problems lowering their gaze etc so if you were to freemix or try to become their ideal type of girl in the end you will suffer because of it

make dua, stay chaste and Allah will reward you with someone pious

[SnareeWer]

You have some jewels within yourself, only a jeweler can recognize them, so let that jeweler come and it will come soon, when Allah has ordained for you. You don't have to indulge in prohibited actions to get married, do good, you get good rewards. Importantly till the jeweler comes to your reach, you don't have to think about him, stop thinking about marriage now, it is one of the weapon of Satan to exploit our precious time and emotions by giving false impressions of future. We dont have access to future, and cant control any part of decisions made my Allah so its better to be hoping for good, and asking His favors.

Best post so far and true to the letter.

Be patient sister and continue as you are going and doing. It could be as hard as battling every second but with time it gets easier.

Focus on developing yourself, religiously, academics etc.

[dexterljohnthefinanceguy]

asalamolikum sister.
if i told u, the most couple i see with handsome boy are those with girl with normal look. so dont worry if u r not extra good looking. thse pair is setteled in heavons so even dont worry for that. trust Allah swt. and the golden tip i told for good married life, be pious and tayyab, Allah SWT will give a pious and tayyab person insh.

[DoctorQuquriramba]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh5MU4RR_mY

Have patience sister