[Marinausa]

SALAAM to all .. I basically needed some advice... I just turned 18 and currently studying Alevels .. Insh'Allah my aims are to do well and go to uni.. and get into a good course such as medecine or some other science based course. I want a good job which pays good money so that I can look after my mother who is a single parent.. they work throughout the week very hard for me and my sibblings and there life is hard but alhamdulilah.. I dont know how but alhamdulilah they have been given the strength my the Almighty Allah paak to carry on doing so...

my main aim in life is to become succesfull.. for my mother so that they can go in retirement, and I can be the breadwinner and they can just relax.

Right now at this moment of time.. I am surrounded by sinners and sins.. I know its all down to me but these temptations are very hard.. im not the best of muslims but I am trying to refrain from these bad sins as much as possible also I am trying to ''change my ways''. I think one big key think is having a wife.. and I know Im young etc and my hormones are flying allover the place.. but having a wife means that theres someone there who you can trust and talk to and rely on.. also it helps u to refrain from sinning. I personally think that if I were to get married Allah knows best.. that It would help to stay away from haram relationships and other bad things big time or at least I think?? !! but the issue I have is.. I do not work.. I am in fulltime education and my mother bless there soul pays for everything.. so how can I get married? Alhamdulilah we are kind of finacially stable ''a bit'' but too have another head in the house is difficult. So the main issue is money.. I cant afford it.. but too be quite honest I know or at least I think that theres no way around this.

what do you think??

[Hankie]

Personally, I support early marriages. I'm 21 myself and I'm familiar with your situation as I'm also experiencing it. Take advice from imams, family, and close peers, but the decision you make should be your own - after all, no one knows your struggle better than you. My family, who have all grown comfortable with the "American Dream" worldview, and they're part of the crowd that says one should be "financially stable" or some other generic statement. That view, which values career and financial details so much, is completely blind to the truth. In older generations, my culture and probably yours too, young Muslims would get married and raise their new family in their parents' home until they inherited it or they saved up enough to move. To me, that sounds ideal, but my whole family is obsessed with this illusion we know as consumerism. For us young Muslims in the Western world, fighting temptation is a frustrating struggle, and if it is possible for the youth to alleviate this problem (ie, through marriage) then by all means I support it. The expected date of "stability" for most Western adults is in the late 20s, and its incredibly tortuous to endure the struggle until age 27 or 30. As I stated, I am fully of the opinion that early marriage is ideal, and I hope you are able to find a channel for which you can obtain a halal union, Allah subhanna wa ta'ala knows your intentions. If living arrangement is a problem, then perhaps a mehr situation can be worked out. When I am older I will wed my children at an early age so they do not have to face the dilemma of zina, but insha Allah they will be raised in a Muslim society.

Brother, I wish you the best, many young Muslims face the same trial and the same dilemma. Do not be discouraged by brainwashed Muslims, do what you feel is best for your iman, I too am looking into the option of marrying insha Allah in the next two years. Not long ago I was blind to the benefits of early marriage and fell into the Western trap of "career-oriented" family life, but that is not life.