[ASSESTYTEAH]

iam an muslem girl ... my father is insisting on marrying an old man because of his money.
should i obey him ?? as a muslim girl to obey her father no matter what ?

i am feeling lost i dont know what am going to do

i believe in marrying and raising kids like islam teaches us and am a believer in obeying parents am feeling lost

[space-on-s]

iam an muslem girl ... my father is insisting on marrying an old man because of his money.
should i obey him ?? as a muslim girl to obey her father no matter what ?

i am feeling lost i dont know what am going to do

i believe in marrying and raising kids like islam teaches us and am a believer in obeying parents am feeling lost

Follow Islam instead.

[ëàìèíàò]

iam an muslem girl ... my father is insisting on marrying an old man because of his money.
should i obey him ?? as a muslim girl to obey her father no matter what ?

i am feeling lost i dont know what am going to do

i believe in marrying and raising kids like islam teaches us and am a believer in obeying parents am feeling lost

Please wait for some female members of the forum to come. They will be able to understand and help you better.

Alternatively you can post in the 'Sensitive QA' section where you will be able to get private help from the mods and ulama of the forum without being disturbed by others.

[Zwnkkvle]

iam an muslem girl ... my father is insisting on marrying an old man because of his money.
should i obey him ?? as a muslim girl to obey her father no matter what ?

i am feeling lost i dont know what am going to do

i believe in marrying and raising kids like islam teaches us and am a believer in obeying parents am feeling lost

Don't do it nobody can force you to marry someone you don't want to marry.

How old are you? and how old is the old man.

[SkHukV3N]

You should not be marrying anyone, young or old, simply because they have money, especially if you don't even like the person to begin with. Your father can't force you to marry someone against your will.

[VioletttaJosetta]

a lady must agree to the marriage for a marriage to be valid and it is not correct for your father to try to force you to marry someone. We are told to marry for deen, not for money, looks etc

try to contact a local shaykh and get them to speak with your father

[duawLauff]

iam an muslem girl ... my father is insisting on marrying an old man because of his money.
should i obey him ?? as a muslim girl to obey her father no matter what ?

i am feeling lost i dont know what am going to do

i believe in marrying and raising kids like islam teaches us and am a believer in obeying parents am feeling lost

you shoudlnt obey your parents:


"A non-virgin woman may not be married without her command, and a virgin may not be married without her permission; and enough permission for her is to remain silent (because of her natural shyness)." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others]

Thus the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), prohibits forcing a virgin in marriage without her permission, whether it be her father or someone else. Furthermore, Ayshah said that she asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) "In the case of a young girl whose parents marry her, should her permission be sought or not?" He replied, "Yes, she must give her permission." She then said, "But a virgin will be shy, O Allah's Messenger." He answered:

"Her silence is [considered as] her permission." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others]


Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
The parents do not have the right to force their child to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses he is not being disobedient towards them, as is the case when he does not eat what he does not want.
Al-Ikhtiyaaraat, 344.


you are not obeying Allah by being forced into a marriage with a person you dont love for the benefit of money.

If you want to be obedient to Allah, dont get married, and then marry a righteous husband who you are pleased with when you are ready to marry inshAllah

[DINAKuncher]

Assalamu alaykum

Issue like permissible or not will not help this sister. May be sisters on this forum can help her. May be she can be advised to meet the elders other than her father and ask them to convince the father to stop this brutality.

[CoallyPax]

if you do agree, under pressure, you will be married though. There is NOT "I was pressured so I am not married".

you are under no compulsion to agree.
being a woman its very sensitive. Do not agree. May Allah give you himma to bear the trial. If your father sees something good in the deen and dunya of this man, that you do not see. May Allah make it apparent to you. May Allah open your father's heart to your needs.

[CoallyPax]

its not obedience no matter what. one's self rights are to be considered also. e.g. obeying a husband is very important but he cannot command his wife to not sleep and stand on one leg all night.

similary parents cant command to kufr or wheres ones personal rights are violated. Since its the person getting married and not the parent similar situation will apply. Personal rights will have preference.

Personal whims should not be mistaken for personal desires and whims. Sometimes our parents see for us, what we may not be attuned to seeing. Assuming your father is only doing it for money and not for some other benefit to you, you should hold firm on your refusal.

[mikefertynnz]

when you say old man, how old is he? and how old are you?
My advice is that if you feel that his deen is good you should do istikhara.
However if you conclude that you do not want to marry him at all then by shariah you cannot be forced into it. But this will bring a lot of issues up that you may want to discuss so i recommend that you keep this thread updated and our experienced bro/sisters and ulama will help you out.

[duawLauff]

Assalamu alaykum

Issue like permissible or not will not help this sister. May be sisters on this forum can help her. May be she can be advised to meet the elders other than her father and ask them to convince the father to stop this brutality.

if im not mistaken the sister said she wants to be obedient to her parents and raise a good muslim family so if she felt taht she was rleigiously obligated to marry the guy then of course it will help her to know the prophet has removed any ability of a man to force his daughter to marry a particular person. if she understands that its not disobeying Allah then this can only be a good thing. Its not fair on the sister to be forced to marry someone she doesnt want and she deserves to be happy so I really hope you stay strong sister and dont marry this guy.

No wonder the ummah is in such a mess, why people always trying to force their daughters to marry people, dont they realise it will cause the young sisterrs to hate islam. especially if they dont know what the hadeeths say on the issue.

muslim attitude to marriage is problematic and its time we made some changes to the attitude of the ummah inshallah, marriage is one of those issues that is seriously abused. young girls are forced into marriage, good religious brothers are turned away because of skin colour or even caste (May ALlah protect us from following mushrik private part worshipping cow worshipping hindus ameen), children are not allowed to marry till they have a job, house, 2 cars, PHD, Allahu musta'aan what a mess.

Dear sister, stay firm and know that this oppression upon you is not te result of islam but the result of backwards culture and ignorant muslims

[duawLauff]

when you say old man, how old is he? and how old are you?

#

the ages dont matter, marriage is permissable at any age as long as both are post puberty. The sister clearly doesnt want to marry so khalaas, no further discussion required

[SkHukV3N]

I really fear for those Muslim men who oppress their families, and especially the womenfolk. How will they stand before Allah and give account? Usually those same people turn into mice when dealing with someone their own size, and won't even defend themselves. So they abuse their position of authority and go on a power trip, while terrorizing their wives and children. Forcing/bullying girls into marriages, expecting them to do all the housework and complaining/criticizing about every little thing, not giving any weight to their ideas and opinions, and demeaning them all the time and treating them like garbage... and I'm not even talking about physical abuse which also sadly occurs. These men have no honor (no offense directed to the OPs father, because I don't know their exact situation).

[duawLauff]

yeah. Sadly many users on this forum are from indopak and are more concerned with attacking salafis then doing something about the barbaric behaviour prevalent in their communities. Its not good when your nation is known for treating their women like ****

[DINAKuncher]

1. salafees are a problem
2. ill treatment against women is a problem

Both the problems should be handled.

[FinanseMikky]

yeah. Sadly many users on this forum are from indopak and are more concerned with attacking salafis then doing something about the barbaric behaviour prevalent in their communities. Its not good when your nation is known for treating their women like ****

Enough bashing of Hanafi indo-paks. . .

Are you going to bash the Shafi'is with equal vigour, when it is pointed out to you that they held a forced marriage to be valid, shar'an?

The Hanafis don't even accept this, and yet all the crticism is directed at them. Maybe we're dealing with personal issues here. . .