[ugosanchezo]

,

maybe someone can enlighten me on something I am not sure about. I was talking to a sister who called me earlier today. I don't want to say alot so this doesn't turn into a back biting thread astagfirulla but just want some advice maybe some hadith to support your answer.

We all have friends/family and naturally we have different levels of closeness with each one, some we are closer to more than others some we get along with more etc. If I am in this situation I personally prefer to stay on good terms with everyone and if I am not in agreement with someone about something I will let it pass as I avoid debates and confrontations ....I just don't like to get into them!!

So.....does doing so, make me a person that has keena in my heart? I am avoiding a situation, if it's a trivial thing it doesn't matter to me I don't see point in argueing, if it's a personal attack on my self I might politely correct them and let them know the truth to my knowledge but if I can't do so ( because It might get into a arguement/fallout) I leave it to Allah. Again...is this keena in my heart?

I gave my reasons for not wanting to confront, as sometimes confronting causes families to break up, and I feel that if by leaving it and just ignoring anything keeps family ties together is it wrong to do this?

So what do you think? I was told today that not saying so makes one face look ugly, you look aged, and it reflects on the face :/

JazakAllah for reading, I hope I havn't confused you!!

[ugosanchezo]

[VioletttaJosetta]

is someone suggesting that you confront everyone on every little matter?

I personally don't think that would be wise, inshaAllah you will be rewarded for being patient about people treating you badly rather than starting arguments with everyone

most of the times nothing good comes from confrontation, some small things should just be ignored and overlooked but don't wish bad for those people who hurt you, pray for their guidance and overlook small things

if its something big such as somebody spreading false information about you then it is probably best to take them in a private area and ask them what is going on but not with the intention to start an argument...rather try to clear whatever misunderstanding has happened

wallahu alam

[ugosanchezo]

is someone suggesting that you confront everyone on every little matter?

I personally don't think that would be wise, inshaAllah you will be rewarded for being patient about people treating you badly rather than starting arguments with everyone

most of the times nothing good comes from confrontation, some small things should just be ignored and overlooked but don't wish bad for those people who hurt you, pray for their guidance and overlook small things

if its something big such as somebody spreading false information about you then it is probably best to take them in a private area and ask them what is going on but not with the intention to start an argument...rather try to clear whatever misunderstanding has happened

wallahu alam

Thanks for reading sis, no one is suggesting I confront on every little matter, and yes I agree this is unwise indeed to do so.

I am being told that I don't always share my opinion about others so therefore I am keeping "keena" malice in my heart. I don't want to share such opinions because like I said, we like some ...some we don't but hey it's life we can't like everyone at the same level.
I do inshallah overlook many things, even though I know myself to be right but I don't want to go into arguements saying...." you said this ...I said that blah blah blah".

May Allah guide us all inshallah.
Allah is my witness inshallah , I have overlooked and ignored false accusations that could have tarnished me but I believe being patient and staying quiet Allah protected me. What hurts is they were close family

[Cyncceply]

sister, from the bottom of my heart i wish i had the ability to keep quiet and avoid dispute and overlook things. because when i die, i will not benefit from a waste hour of arguements. I will benefit from keeping myself busy with beneficial things. I advise you to stay how you are inshAllah and focus on seeking knowledge of islam, aiding the deen, building a family etc. The amount of time wasted on futile discussions makes me feel sad ive lost that time. Im totaly opposite to you and it doesnt bring me any peace or benefit. i envy such a noble characteristic and advise you to keep hold of it inshAllah. Wallahu a'lam

[BoBoMasterDesign]

I am being told that I don't always share my opinion about others so therefore I am keeping "keena" malice in my heart.

I don't understand what exactly is keena? Is it maliciousness??

How can someone being quiet and patient about a matter lead to maliciousness. If anything, it should help keep you away? Only you (and Allah swt) know whats in your heart. If there is any defect, work on it insha'allah. But I would advise you to remain as you are sister. There is great reward in staying quiet in an arguement even if your in the right. Nothing good comes out of them.

If you must get something off your chest, its best to do so when your not angry and say it directly to the person concerned so there is no back biting.

Masha'allah, I think you have great characteristics. Theres no need to change, insha'allah.

[ugosanchezo]

Keena is malicousness.

I was thinking too, how can staying out of things and keeping quiet be a bad thing. I was beginning to doubt myself. It's not easy to be this way, sometimes I do want to blurt out what I really want to say but think of Allah and just leave it at that. Inshallah we can all be this way and STAY this way to please Allah.

[BoBoMasterDesign]

Everyone is different. Some ppl can stay quiet and some cant. My sister and I are like day and night. She has to get stuff off her chest but she will says what she needs to, to that person, and not behind their back. Not so much in a 'accusing' manner or 'confrontational' manner, but some things just need to be said. I, on the other hand, hate confrontation. Even with no confrontation, I just stay quiet. But thats me. I can handle it and just brush it off (sometimes with time, lol). I wouldn't be able to do what she does. I do tend to keep alot of anger in my heart and sometimes 'blurt' it all out. But its very rare and the other person usually has tested my patience right to the last nerve, subhan'allah. I can only recall a handful of occasions if that, where I blurted out. But the number of 'fights' I've probably avoided, I doubt I would be able to count.

So stay the way you are, iA