[Yessaniloas]

Until you're able to find good Muslim friends, listen to Islamic lectures to create love and fear of Allah Ta'ala. If you dont' have much time to listen, then listen while travelling to and from work.

I'll recommend a scholar, one of my favourites who has changed my life and many people I know.

http://aswatalislam.net/FilesList.as...=Tariq%20Jamil

Always keep yourself busy with something. Otherwise the shayateen and your own nafs take over your thoughts.

Remember brother, the hours in Jannah are waiting for you.

[22CreessGah]

Thank you brother, I have read your comment a couple of times to make sure I didn't miss anything. Unfortunately in my current state of employment I cannot move to an area with more muslims. I interact with non-muslims more and can defiantly feel that their ways are being "transferred" to me somehow. I am not repulsed by some of their actions but that probably because I have been exposed to it so much. Deep down I know that what i'm thinking is wrong but somehow I can't stop myself from blocking it out of my head. I need to be more sincere and find others who can help me out. You are right, I have no guarantee of life or a chance to ask for repentance if I go wrong. Alhumdulillah I still haven't done anything but life is getting very hard and zina is very easy around here . Please keep me in your prayers.

Is your family near to where you live? If they aren't, then even with your state of employment, it is actually mandatory for you to leave the place you're in since it is having such a drastic negative effect on your deen. Please make an effort to move to a different city or even a different community within your own city since you say it is a major city. For example, here in Toronto, we have areas where there are people who merely call themselves Muslim and that's the end of it. On the other hand, we have areas where it is impossible to go down the street without seeing a man with a full beard and sunnah clothing or a woman with a hijab/niqab. You'll even see kids in the same state, with the kids in the former area emulating the non-Muslims in everything whereas the kids in the latter would be emulating the sunnah.

You're being dulled and becoming apathetic to sins because of your environment. That is why Islam places a major emphasis on the environment. When it becomes painful and burdensome to follow the basics of the religion because of they environment one is in, he must move to a different environment to save himself and his deen.

I know it is going to sound like a major step to take but for the safeguarding of your deen, you should do it. You can at least start making preparations right away by job hunting in a different city online and moving ASAP when you get employed. You should move even if the other job in the big city isn't as well-paying as the one you have now or even if it doesn't have the same benefits, because it would remove this feeling from your heart and allow you to focus more on bettering yourself both spiritually and professionally.

[AlexBrith]

Brother Hold on to the Book of Allah, the Quran. Recite a few mins everyday. Suratul Yaseen is very good. you will see the change soon.

Suratul Yaseen takes only 10 mins to recite:

Download the recitation video with Translation: http://www.2shared.com/uploadComplet...R8QGeYx3PvzlgZ

Video of Sh.Shuraim's recitation with translation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPlrqu7_LNA

[flopay]

brother,

I was your age about 5 years ago so I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I will leave the answering of most of your questions/concerns to the more knowledgeable, Insha'Allah, but I would like to address some very specific quotes below taken from your original post.

I have met with muslims who probably did everything from sleeping with 10+ women to drinking their hearts out but in the end they end up exactly where I am but with more "fun" in their history.

What you don't realize is, that when a Muslim *truly* repents and straightens out for the sake of Allah swt, after having all that "fun" in their history... that "fun" HAUNTS them every single day of their life. Every single moment of their life. For these "had fun, played around before then straightened out" type of brothers and sisters, it is tough to find a moment in time where, somewhere in the back of their head, they're not thinking about how huge the sins which they have committed have been, and if those sins will be held against them in the grave and on the day of judgement, or will Allah :swt:, who is Ar-Rahman & Ar-Rahim, forgive them? These people don't feel like they deserve to be forgiven, because of the utter amount of huge sins which they have committed, but yet they try to make up for it by following the Deen of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger as much as possible, while having faith that Allah's promise of His mercy and forgiveness will, Insha'Allah, hold true for them also.

This is the part which you're missing I think. The people with "fun" in their history envy people like you with "no fun" in their history, and if they could go back in time, they would 100% much rather follow your course of action rather than the previous, corrupt course of action of their own.

Please, please, just try to understand and realize what I'm trying to say here.

I don't know much but sooner or later everyone asks for forgiveness and they pretty much get away with it. I'm jealous and angry that I didn't do that. Allah knows best. We do not know who "gets away" with something and who does not. Furthermore, a major requirement for Taubah (repentance) is sincerity. If one committed all kinds of sins like zina, sleeping around, drinking alcohol, partying, etc, etc, while in ignorance; and later they finally learn their lesson and repent to Allah swt, beg for his forgiveness, and completely turn their life around to an "Islamic" life, then Insha'Allah, Allah will forgive them.

If one commits the same sins while thinking; "It's all good, I'm going to go out with this girl tonight, get drunk, sleep with her, and have some fun, then later on at some point I will ask for Allah's forgiveness and start over"; then this is a completely different story, and as the Quran and Hadith repeatedly tell us, every person is/will be judged by their intentions.

So the two very simple but very important points I'm trying to make here are:

1. The one who is truly ignorant and, for whatever reason, does not realize the severity of their actions... but later on, Subhan'Allah, realizes how ignorant they were, makes taubah and turns their life around... then, Insha'Allah, this person would be forgiven by Allah. Allah knows best.

2. Now if we take someone who is not ignorant, but rather understands the severity of their actions and any sins which they may be contemplating on committing, goes and commits those sins while having the intention of "just seek forgiveness" later and "get away with it", then, I would say this type of person is in a much, much worse position than the one in point #1 above. Allah knows best.

I read a story about about a man who killed 100 people (im gonna make it short) but he seeks forgiveness and never does get to the town where he is supposed to go. His intention alone grants him heaven even though he never asks for it. So now I have a question, a man who sleeps/drinks cant be worse than him can he? Because he killed those 100 people while he was ignorant and when he realized the severity of his actions, his intention to repent and never do it again was sincere. He left the place of sin which he used to live in, as per the advice of the scholar he had consulted, and headed towards a town which had good/pious people instead, to live with them and turn his life around. On the way he died. Allah is Ar-Rahman and Ar-Rahim, to the extent which us humans cannot even begin the comprehend, and He knows what is in our hearts. So He forgave this person. Allahu'Akbar.

Meanwhile, a person who commits zina and drinks, etc, may not be forgiven by Allah swt if he has a dirty heart and lacks sincerity in his repentance. Allah knows best.

It is the same concept as one person donating a penny to charity with a 100% sincere heart to help someone out, because all they have is a penny, but if they had a million dollars they would give it away without blinking as well... Allah rewards this person, if He so wills, as if he donated a million dollars, and tens of thousands of times more than that. Meanwhile, we have someone who donates a million dollars because they can afford to do so, but they do it with the intention of showing off to people, so they will look good to people and people will say "wow this person is amazing he is donating a million dollars to such and such charity", he does it primarily for fame and maybe secondarily to actually help people with those million dollars. Allah does not even reward this person for as much as having donated a penny, in fact he would probably get punished severely for it unless he changed his ways. Allah knows best.

What guarantee do I have that the woman I will marry would be right for me? You're right, you don't have a guarantee that the woman you marry would be the "right" one for you. The guarantee which you, and we all, do have is about Taqdeer. Everything has been written out and none of us can do a thing to change Allah's will. So what you and I can do is follow Allah's orders as far as how to live our lives, follow His Messenger's sunnah, always seek Allah's forgiveness & make plenty of dua for Allah to grant you with a pious wife who would be the right person for you and together you two would be able to live in a way which would please Allah.

It's called having faith in Allah. If something doesn't go the way we thought it should, or the way we wanted it to, we say "Alhamdulillah" and understand that Allah knows that which we do not know. If, God forbid, anyone ends up with a husband/wife who don't turn out to be the 'best match' for them, there was a reason in it for their betterment which Allah knows whether we come to know/understand that reason(s) immediately or not.

Being a Muslim means completely submitting to Allah swt as His slave, having total, complete faith in Allah's will and His plan for us, even if we at times may not understand why certain things are happening to us.

So, again, no guarantee that the woman one will marry would be the right one for them... but we actually have a guarantee from Allah swt himself that He will take care of believers who follow His commands. We don't need any other guarantees, we only need faith in Allah.

The point of this is that there is a woman who is eager to hang out with me and I have been invited to a party. There will be alcohol and im sick of being a loner. I know where this will go but i guess my muslim roots are still holding on to something. What should I do? How did you deal with this in your early twenties? Obviously, the choice is yours, whether you will go to this party with this woman or not, or hang out with her in general outside of the party. Allah blessed us with free will which we have the choice to use to obey Him or disobey Him.

As you said, you also know where this will go.

The grass may look nice and green on the other side right now, but remember, once you get to the other side and walk around on that grass a bit... you may soon realize that it wasn't as green as you thought, in fact not green at all.

Whatever decision you make, make it 100% extremely carefully. What if you go to this one party with the intention of only "having fun for just one night" and never doing it again... but then this very party turns out to be your downfall. You have a drink, you mess around a bit with a girl.... next thing you know, 20 years have passed, you're sitting at home sipping an alcoholic cocktail, while your non-muslim wife is taking your "muslim by name" kids to shop for halloween costumes. Does that sound a bit extreme? Of course, it sounds very extreme. Does it happen? Look around and you'd be surprised to see families, just as the one I described, living all around us.

Or, what if you go with the intention of just having one "fun" night, and really never doing it again (though that is obviously the wrong thing to do)... but let's say for sake of argument that was your intention. You went, you did what you wanted to do, you made taubah later and really regretted it, Allah accepted your taubah and all was good. But, and this is a big but, what if something happened at the party... be it an earthquake, some random crazy storm, gunshots, heart attack, whatever at all.... and you died with a drink in one hand and a random girl on your other arm? Does that sound extreme? Maybe, but it happens all the time. People die in any and all kinds of places, doing any and all kinds of things. We should always be begging Allah to let us die as a Muslim while practicing some type of action which is loved by Allah himself... though we are ignorant and don't do anything close to it. Instead, we are constantly putting ourselves in situations, where if we died there, how would we face our Creator?

Brother, please forgive me if I said anything which was offensive to you (or anyone else), as that is not my intention at all. I simply hope to maybe try and help you look at things with a bit of a different perspective.

The grass is always greener on the other side... you're angry because you don't have "fun in your history". You envy those who were able to 'have fun'. Meanwhile, these people who you envy, are actually angry because they HAVE "fun in their history", and they envy the likes of you who were able to keep their act together and refrain from disobeying Allah against their desires and destroy the whispers of the accursed shaytaan when he tried to get them to commit sins. To these people you are worthy of envying, your "kind" are what they would like to be, if they had the choice to turn back time.

---------------------------

Lastly, this business of "comparing" yourself to others can only lead you to trouble. "They've had so much more fun than I have, I'm a loner and they are not, how come they can get away with it and I'm sitting here doing nothing", etc, etc, etc. We all do it, but, trust me, it's only trouble. Just worry about yourself first, and worry about how you would face Allah if you ended up hanging with this girl and going to this party full of fitnah. Try to be an example for everyone who is having what we call "fun", and let them see how you refrain yourself from having this type of "fun" because you fear Allah. Whether they say anything to your face or not (usually not), believe me, at some level they envy you and wonder how you have the will-power to stay away from all this stuff while they're out doing everything they shouldn't be doing. Even more importantly, you don't know if you staying steadfast in following the deen may end up inspiring another Muslim to correct their act, or cause a non-muslim to become curious and start doing research about Islam and end up becoming Muslim. You may never know about these things occurring and yet, Insha'Allah, you would be being rewarded abundantly for it in this life and the hereafter.

Most importantly, Insha'Allah get back into guarding your salat 5 times a day... no matter where you are, who you're with, whether it's a "convenient" place/time to make salat or not, etc... when it's time for salat, you find a place to wudhu, even if it's in a public bathroom with 20 non-muslims staring at you wondering what you're doing, and you go and make salat, even if it's on a corner of the street with the bare ground under you. Salat time = go and make salat, period.

You've done it before as you said you used to pray 4 times a day and many times missed one for some reason... and, though I don't know you, it seems like that was the time when you were able to stay steadfast. Now, judging by what you said, forgive me if I'm saying something wrong, but seems like since you let salat and maybe other deeni practices slip away from you, you are now being tempted to commit sin.

I would say you go wudhu right now (and I mean right now right now) and make 2 rakat salat without thinking about anything else (as long as it's not a forbidden time to pray nafl where you currently are). Then make dua, beg Allah swt to help you out. Surely, He will help you, Insha'Allah.

If I said anything good in this post, it is from Allah. All mistakes & inaccuracies are solely due to my own, personal fault.

May Allah reward you for seeking guidance and may He keep us all steadfast in following the one and only true deen, may He keep us away from temptation & 'bad' desires and may He grant us with the courage and will-power to walk away from anything which will lead us to disobeying our Creator. Ameen.

[Fhgzmftq]

Bro, to obey Allah, to turn down the temptations of women, when you were in the prime of your youth, when you had the freedom to do what you wanted, when everyone around you was doing it, is a great thing indeed. SubhanAllah, you should feel blessed, that even though those around you were submerged in sin, Allah chose to protect you from the filth they were involved in. To look back at this time and effectively say 'I wish I hadn't obeyed Allah and obeyed my lusts instead' is most probably a waswasa, an evil suggestion, from shaytaan. The one who is an open enemy to us. Alhamdulillah, bro, you should feel proud of yourself that you were able to fight this temptation. Honestly. And remember bro, you're not the only person who avoided this temptation for the sake of Allah. There's many like you Alhamdulillah. And remember, Allah knows this bro. He knows that you had temptation in front of you, and you said no to it, you rejected it, why? For his sake. Surely that's something that he loves. Feel happpy bro. Feel lucky. Feel blessed that you were protected from this.

[TimoDass]

Brother Hold on to the Book of Allah, the Quran. Recite a few mins everyday. Suratul Yaseen is very good. you will see the change soon.

Suratul Yaseen takes only 10 mins to recite:

Download the recitation video with Translation: http://www.2shared.com/uploadComplet...R8QGeYx3PvzlgZ

Video of Sh.Shuraim's recitation with translation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPlrqu7_LNA

Thank you brother for the reminder. I will admit that I haven't been reading the Quran regularly since Ramadan. I have the time but in the past couple of years I lost the "deen stamina" if you can understand what I mean. Hopefully it will get better

[TimoDass]

@Truthseeker1 , thank you brother. I am so fast to rid of accomplishment ( although it was all Allah's (saw) wish and we should not display proudness) that I forget how big of a deal it is. I always think of brothers who have more than me in every way and still remain steadfast to the deen without losing focus of the goal. I hope it stays this way for me as well. This is one tough battle and it doesn't seem to ending soon. May Allah(saw) help us all.

[TimoDass]

Until you're able to find good Muslim friends, listen to Islamic lectures to create love and fear of Allah Ta'ala. If you dont' have much time to listen, then listen while travelling to and from work.

I'll recommend a scholar, one of my favourites who has changed my life and many people I know.

http://aswatalislam.net/FilesList.as...=Tariq%20Jamil

Always keep yourself busy with something. Otherwise the shayateen and your own nafs take over your thoughts.

Remember brother, the hours in Jannah are waiting for you.

Thank you the links. The reason why I'm thinking about all of this is because I'm on a break from work for the Christmas/Newyear holidays. Not having anything to do is probably the worst thing in the world for a young man. I have considered going for a masters because it will keep me busy outside of work. As for the links, I will try to fit them in my morning commute

[AlexBrith]

Thank you brother for the reminder. I will admit that I haven't been reading the Quran regularly since Ramadan. I have the time but in the past couple of years I lost the "deen stamina" if you can understand what I mean. Hopefully it will get better

you will find your stamina back.

Something more to encourage you, there are 7 group of people that will be under the shade on the Day of Judgement. The Day the Sun is is so near that some people will be drowning in their sweat. Of the 7 group of people under the shade 1 group consist of the person who is being seduced by a woman but he turns away saying 'inni akhaafullah' (I fear Allah). Brother, this is your golden chance, Say I fear Allah and turn away from that invitation you will be under the shade on the Day of Judgement.

[Sahih Bukhari: Volume 1, Book 11, Number 629]

Narrated Abu Huraira (Radi Allah Anhu): The Prophet (sal-allahu-alleihi-wasallam) said, "Allah will give shade, to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His.

These seven persons are

1) a just ruler,

2) a youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (i.e. worships Allah sincerely from childhood),

3) a man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. to pray the compulsory prayers in the mosque in congregation),

4) two persons who love each other only for Allah's sake and they meet and part in Allah's cause only,

5) a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illicit intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah,

6) a man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity),

7) and a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears."

[TimoDass]

Brother Shuayb Abdul-Khaaliq, you have helped me very much with your enlightening post. I cannot thank you enough. Even though I understand the position of what's being proposed to me whether it is my inner self or some girl, I know it is haram and hearing it again from another brother just refreshes that thought. You are correct in saying that my deen activites have slipped. I somehow lost the deen "stamina" and get distracted easily when trying to read or listen to the Quran. I cut down music ( still listen unfortunately ] and replaced it with radio at first and slowly moved to listening the Quran. I posted something similar on another forum and received private feedback from muslims who grieve over their past and can't seem to get over it. It also opens a door to haram that they can never close because the first step is the hardest and everything after that is just adding the experience. The worst thing is the lack of real definition in my life. Alhumdullaah I have a great job but once I leave office it ends there. I have invested so much time in the dunya that I really dont have much to do when it's over. I am on a christmas/newyear break and seeing people get together and have fun has left me empty. I was told that solitude is better than bad company but a good bunch of friends trumps being alone any day of the week. Now that college is over a lot of guys are looking for gfs/wives and it has me feeling left out. Maybe I need to join them in a halal way. I listened to your advice and prayed two rakat nafl something I haven't done since Ramadan. It was a weird feeling listening to you , Br.Shuayb Abdul-Khaaliq, a man I do not know in the slightest apart from the insightful comment. It felt good and I did dua for myself and all of those in my position and those that have uplifted my spirits. It's a terrible state of mind , one I would not wish on anyone. Thanks again and keep me in your prayers

[AlexBrith]

We all go through ups and downs in our deen. I m actually in a down at the moment, but the trick is to try to get up. Try to read this small book, it will help .


Feeling Spiritually Low?? - http://yunuspatel.co.za/books-feelingspirituallylow.php

From an Informal Majlis by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb
(Mudda Zilluhu)

A Simple explanation of Qabz & Bast.
A treatise on the spiritual states of the heart.

[AlexBrith]

This should help you

Ghaflath and Shahwath - these are top two signs that nafs is alive, in fact, these are nourishment for the nafs. This is food for the nafs that causes it to get stronger. What are the means that are helping the laziness? It is possibly the time to cut those means off. Our buzrughs have said that the cure to laziness is becoming active.

This is more of a war. Nafs has won a battle here and its top two commanders Ghaflath and Shahwath have planted their flags and have taken some major victories. They are strong right now.

The Ruh is weak right now and has even retreated. In this situation, Ruh is seeking counsil and advice. The best course of action here would be to (1) Utilise courage. You must muster up courage and become active. At first it will seem difficult but slowly it will get easier. And (2) Take some help until you take back some victories - meaning, you should take the company of pious people or read the books of pious people (reading books of pious people is like being in their company in their absence). I think if these two steps are taken then momentum will come back to the Ruh. The means that are causing Ghalfah should be sought out and cut off from their root. If these means continue to live on they will continue to help Ghaflah.

[HornyMolly]

Br. MuslimFa, I remember this post from Reddit, I was going to recommend you come here and speak to the brothers here as they are more learned, Subhanallah, you were guided to come!

[TimoDass]

Br. MuslimFa, I remember this post from Reddit, I was going to recommend you come here and speak to the brothers here as they are more learned, Subhanallah, you were guided to come!

Lol yes I knew it would happen sooner or later. I see that SunniForum is such an amazing place. Everyone has authentic information to back their claims. I might stick around because there are other interesting topics being discussed. I decided to post this on here after I googled muslims forums. I just wanted the most I could get from the muslim commuity. Reddit has its uses but r/islam has its share of professional trolls . Btw, Nice to meet you!

[elapicearpisp]

its pretty simple brother just get married to a pios good muslim women and you wont feel like such a loner i know this want help that much but take it into advice

[TimoDass]

We all go through ups and downs in our deen. I m actually in a down at the moment, but the trick is to try to get up. Try to read this small book, it will help .


Feeling Spiritually Low?? - http://yunuspatel.co.za/books-feelingspirituallylow.php

From an Informal Majlis by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb
(Mudda Zilluhu)

A Simple explanation of Qabz & Bast.
A treatise on the spiritual states of the heart.

Brother Amr123, I came across this hadtih many years ago and today I have been reunited . Thank you very much. I am going to check the link you've posted in another reply as well. Inshallah this temporary turbulence in life will go away. We can't be perfect afterall

[slimsex]

Salams,

Dude, I've been where you're at and frankly speaking I know exactly how you feel. Just take a step back and consider my words. I am a convert and even as a Christian I was (and still am) waiting till marriage, so I've gone through the same kinds of trials you speak of. The thing is, there's a lot more to this matter than meets the eye. For one thing, I've noticed (and this happens a lot more, I feel in the Muslim community, due to egos and the possibility of gossip, etc.) that people tend to cover stuff up to look good. All those fornicators and such may be able to play it all good to your face, but trust me, they have a ton of baggage to deal with, when it comes to marriage and relationships. And also trust me when I say that extramarital relationships are really no good. I can't tell you how many times people I knew KILLED themselves or tried to (by hanging and the like) all over the breakdown of a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend. And trust me when I say that it's typically the people who have low self-esteem and intelligence who choose NOT to wait till marriage and who sleep around. Oh and the reason a lot of these marriage break down, is precisely due to the prevalence of zina before marriage. 'Once you pop you just can't stop', as the saying goes. It does disgust me that in the Muslim community a guy who sleeps around, drinks, etc. typically get the 'oh, he was young and foolish and didn't know any better' excuse given ON HIS BEHALF and has a blind eye turned in regards to his offenses, while the guy still in college, struggling to stay away from zina, gets denied the chance to get married, just 'cause he's not rolling around in dough. It can get to you...so I understand. I was the only guy in my dorm complex, I swear, who wasn't doing the nasty with anyone...and I had a lot of girls try and get at me. Looking back, I have to say that it never felt right at the time...and even if I were given the chance I would turn them down. I'm waiting not just for fear of Hell or desire for Paradise, but because I want true love, plain and simple. As the old adage goes, 'true love waits'. I'm holding to my guns and not giving up, no matter how hard it gets. You're not alone in this, not by a long shot. BTW, you might want to check out this article and maybe get your hands on the book it's about: http://waitingtillmarriage.org/book-...-our-children/. I'm not sure how the mods will handle me pointing to another website, but WaitingTillMarriage.Org is about putting off sex till marriage, so I can't see how that would hurt anyone here, as we're supposed to be against zina and all. The point of the article is that 'hooking up' isn't as truly smooth as it might be presented. I could have hooked up tons of times, but I could never bring myself to lying to a girl just to get some. I'd feel way too mucked up inside and all. BTW, I'm 25 just like you. If there's anything else I can think to add, I'll put it up later. 'Till then...

Wa Salam and Hang in There...It Will Get Better (Insha'Allah),

Tempest Desh

[TimoDass]

Bismillah
You need to focus what is important in life? Deen/Iman, education, occupation, family and lastly friends (come and go).
So join a dawah organisation like Tablighi Jammah and spend your holidays there and 1 weekend every month with them. 2. Find yourself a spititual shaikh and listen to a lot more reflective type of lectures. 3.Take up some hobby like football. 4.Focus on achieving your objective.
Never abuse women by using them and throwing them away. Some women have become so emotionaly damaged that they attach their value by being loved by men (these men don't love them but use them for physical pleasure alone). Just like our heart is delicate thing, so is the heart of opposite sex. The lowest of low use this quality against them. So the women get into a cycle where they look for emotional fullfillment and alas gets nothing! Do not fall into this types of perpetual punishment.
It is sad really because these people are not really bad but victim of a society that exploits the weak.
Allahualam

I find that some tablighi brothers just cut themselves from the dunya and that doesn't appeal to me. One brother quit his job to drive a cab so he could pray on time. I just find that childish because there are ways to do both without making such a huge change. I haven't played sports in a while but I do work out so that definitely helps. Yeah I find some non muslim women that could have been great muslimas because of their personalities but unfortunately they too have been victimized by their own culture. As for friends, yeah I do need good friends because being lonely sucks

[22CreessGah]

I find that some tablighi brothers just cut themselves from the dunya and that doesn't appeal to me. One brother quit his job to drive a cab so he could pray on time. I just find that childish because there are ways to do both without making such a huge change. I haven't played sports in a while but I do work out so that definitely helps. Yeah I find some non muslim women that could have been great muslimas because of their personalities but unfortunately they too have been victimized by their own culture. As for friends, yeah I do need good friends because being lonely sucks

If the brother's job was interfering with him performing salah, he was right in quitting it. If he is skilled enough, though, he should still have looked for a job in his profession that would accommodate salah - many employers allow their employees to pray as it only requires 5-10 minutes. But, there is nothing wrong with what he did. As long as he is meeting the obligations to his family, he is in the right and he will be rewarded for it. But we should remember that even the sahaba did not force themselves into poverty if they were able to earn a living. Yes, they would give away a lot of the money they earned to charity, but they still used their skills in their respective fields to earn their living.

But it is a stereotype to say that Tablighi Jamaat cut themselves completely off from the duniya. The Tablighi Jamaat is full of people from all backgrounds and all opinions since it is not sectarian and not political. Some people, after knowledge about their deen, balance their life in favour of the deen - e.g. they meet all the obligations but don't aim for a lavish lifestyle they could achieve if they strove more for duniya than the deen. This is to be commended. Others are able to maintain both. There are many doctors, lawyers, engineers, and businessmen that go regularly for Jamaat but they haven't quit their jobs and are making a more than decent living.

[TimoDass]

Salams,

Dude, I've been where you're at and frankly speaking I know exactly how you feel. Just take a step back and consider my words. I am a convert and even as a Christian I was (and still am) waiting till marriage, so I've gone through the same kinds of trials you speak of. The thing is, there's a lot more to this matter than meets the eye. For one thing, I've noticed (and this happens a lot more, I feel in the Muslim community, due to egos and the possibility of gossip, etc.) that people tend to cover stuff up to look good. All those fornicators and such may be able to play it all good to your face, but trust me, they have a ton of baggage to deal with, when it comes to marriage and relationships. And also trust me when I say that extramarital relationships are really no good. I can't tell you how many times people I knew KILLED themselves or tried to (by hanging and the like) all over the breakdown of a relationship with a girlfriend or boyfriend. And trust me when I say that it's typically the people who have low self-esteem and intelligence who choose NOT to wait till marriage and who sleep around. Oh and the reason a lot of these marriage break down, is precisely due to the prevalence of zina before marriage. 'Once you pop you just can't stop', as the saying goes. It does disgust me that in the Muslim community a guy who sleeps around, drinks, etc. typically get the 'oh, he was young and foolish and didn't know any better' excuse given ON HIS BEHALF and has a blind eye turned in regards to his offenses, while the guy still in college, struggling to stay away from zina, gets denied the chance to get married, just 'cause he's not rolling around in dough. It can get to you...so I understand. I was the only guy in my dorm complex, I swear, who wasn't doing the nasty with anyone...and I had a lot of girls try and get at me. Looking back, I have to say that it never felt right at the time...and even if I were given the chance I would turn them down. I'm waiting not just for fear of Hell or desire for Paradise, but because I want true love, plain and simple. As the old adage goes, 'true love waits'. I'm holding to my guns and not giving up, no matter how hard it gets. You're not alone in this, not by a long shot. BTW, you might want to check out this article and maybe get your hands on the book it's about: http://waitingtillmarriage.org/book-...-our-children/. I'm not sure how the mods will handle me pointing to another website, but WaitingTillMarriage.Org is about putting off sex till marriage, so I can't see how that would hurt anyone here, as we're supposed to be against zina and all. The point of the article is that 'hooking up' isn't as truly smooth as it might be presented. I could have hooked up tons of times, but I could never bring myself to lying to a girl just to get some. I'd feel way too mucked up inside and all. BTW, I'm 25 just like you. If there's anything else I can think to add, I'll put it up later. 'Till then...

Wa Salam and Hang in There...It Will Get Better (Insha'Allah),

Tempest Desh

Thank you Tempest Desh, I enjoyed reading your views on the matter. It was an interesting read because of your background living as a Catholic and now mashallah as a Muslim. College was easy for me because I would take a ridiculous course load and keep myself busy. Now that i'm alone I have a lot to think about and sometimes think that I should have done more. I know that zina and other haram will never keep my soul at ease but I wanted to hear similar things from other brothers so I don't feel alone in this. We're gonna fight the good fight and inshallah Allah(saw) will help get through this. It all ends one way or another