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12-22-2011, 10:47 AM
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#1 |
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 Going to do something bad.. Sisters andddd brothers please helpp
I AM 17 YEARS OLD.. WILL BE 18 IN A FEW MONTHS.. I LIVE WITH MY MUM AND SISTER WHO IS 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN me. WE DONT LIVE WITH THE FATHER.. MUM HAS BEEN SEPERATED FOR ALMOST 12 YEARS.
my mum has always given my sister freedom in the sense of her own laptop..facebook..ipod etc... but never let her have a phone. she is currently in year 11 doing he GCSES. She's never been allowed a phone even though she has wanted one also we dont let her go out at all.. she just goes to school and back as far as wee know.. I am alot older and wiser and have done stupid things in the past and got in a lot of trouble.. alhamdulilah today I am a much better person and am in the process of sorting my self out and trying to be a good muslim or at least decent. I have always told mum not to give her a laptop etc .. but mum has always said I need to give her the trust and she wont break it even though the internet is full of rubbish and can influence a young persons mind in many bad ways. I have caught my sister with a phone just a couple of hours ago.. she over reacted and was crying and was obviously scared, shes woke my mum up too... younger sister is very gobby and just swears and says she dosent want to live with us nomore... the phone is full of males numbers.. she says there just numbers from facebook.. she has apparantly been in a years relationship with a boy and now coming into her second one.. by the looks of her texts.. she denies it though and says JUST FRIENDS. I FEEL SICK. I FEEL ANGRY. I FEEL UPSET AND HURT AND ABSOLOUTLEY HEARTBROKEN... BUT STILL shukar Alhamdulilah for everything Allah Soneh Paak gives me ... I cannot complain and I will not say why me or why our family.. or why has this happned... its just happned and even though I hate it .. its from Allah . I want to find every single one of these boys and cut off all of there fingers. I can do this.. I am not boasting but I am merley expressing what I feel like doing. Mum is still being nice to her and she is shouting at mum. Mum says shell try commiting suicide AGAIN like she did last time.. where she overdosed on pills at the time I thought it was due to girl problems and she was just upset.. mum covered it up and has now told me she did it because she was upset about some boy.. I have been arrested many times for many things, I have hurt many people, I havee done things which are bad in ''society and ''DEEN which is most important.. I used to make my mums life hell .. as a young angry man growing up.. I didnt have a male figure to show me the right path... i have learnt from my mistakes and beg for forgivness that Allah forgives me.. I am just trying to be the best possible son for my mother, so for the past year or two I have just got on with my studys and kept away from the bad crowd.. may Allah paak give me tofeeq to carry on this way. i really dont want to jeaoprdise things..in the sense that I want to get a good job and look after my mum. they are my world, they have done so much for me and have sacrificed there entire life... just to make things better for us.. they work 8-4 even later monday to fridays.. they be pretty much busy with work.. they are the breadwinner in the home and they also carry out as much domestic work as possible. I love my mum with all my heart, like I said they have worked very hard.. but I am so upset. about this phone buissnes with my sister.. she has been doing all this for I dont know how long! She says shes never met up with any guy.. who knows.. me personally i dont belive it ..like I said.. mum is scared she is going to top her self again and my sister is saying she wants to go in care and she hates us blablbla n she dosent want to stay with us.. she is emotionally blackmailing my mum.. I cant take charge and tell my mum wot to do.. I guess my job is to obey orders... my sister says she did it because she felt left out as other girls were doing it. another excuse was because I did it.. when I was about 14 years old I did have a few ''girl friends but I was young and silly and didnt understand that sorta stuff.. Since iv'e matured up I made a clean and strong intention that I will never mess around with a muslim sister again.. because they are other peoples sisters and I know I would hate it and I do.. and iv'e always belived what goes round comes round.. so maybe iv'e emotionally hurt other peoples sisters.. isit all just coming back around to my sister? ALLAH HU'AKBAR.. I have full faith I will get through this with the help of my Lord.. I am not a good person, I am a sinner but that dosent mean to say I havent got faith in my creator because I do. but i dont know how to tackle this... please help please I am so confused I was a very angry young man and used to swear and break things.. I used to have anger issues MAJOR ones .. I have come a great distance since then . but is this my fault? I think it is... maybe I didnt give her enough attention and she was seeking it elsewhere .. I was suppoised to be the father she never had but Iv'e blown it and look where we are today.. and now i overheard her talking to mum and she cant get over this boy who she was with for a year!!!! and trust me I know once a woman especially a woman.. once they've had a taste for boyfriends its very hard to get them to stop messing around, they become empotionally dependant .. and feel that they love this person and cant livewithout them . thats how it seems with my sister.. now shes had a taste will this carry on .. sneaking around.. i dont know somebody please plase help me |
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12-22-2011, 11:02 AM
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#2 |
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 Brother, this is really a serious problem, but if Allah  wills, this can be sorted out without much of mess. Firstly, you need to talk to your sister that maintaining this kinda relations is prohibited in Islam, talk to her calmly and confidently, do loose your temper, it may lead to worse. If your sister doesn't really try to understand, talk to that boy, ask him not to repeat this, but if you find the guy to be sincere and trustworthy, with your moms consultation, proceed for marriage. Its not that only one thing can be write here, you can have many possible solutions for this problem, involve some elders of your family who are good with you people, and make dua for her. Keep your patience, don't try to hurry in conclusions. I know how it feels, I have 3 sisters, and father expired long back. Khair, Allah make it easy for you.
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12-22-2011, 11:14 AM
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#3 |
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Bismillah
As-salamu ´alaykum, Like you said, you have not always been on the right path yourself, and as you would know, this world is a confusing place to grow up in. This applies to your sister as well. I understand where you're coming from, but I do not think that physically assaulting people will solve the problem, something that you yourself seem to hint at... otherwise you would not have came here. Remember that this is about your sisters guidance, and not about you and the canalization of your anger. Have you offered Islam to her, as in by gently teaching her about the benefits of drawing closer to Allah? And maybe more importantly, have you set a good example for her? We have to work for the guidance of ourselves and those around us. Most of the time things don't just land in our laps. Wishful thinking is good, but it won't get us anywhere. Be patient and continue to turn to Allah. Wa'Llahu a'lam |
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12-22-2011, 11:23 AM
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#4 |
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Yes bro, I feel where you are coming from but the best thing to do is improve yourself and become an example to the rest of your family... maybe not having a male figure has damaged you but then it would also have effected your sister too... perhaps she is seeking comfort from strange men because she does not find it at home? It happens. Anyways bro, like others have said and will say  , just improve yourself and when the family members see the change, they will also change That's probably the best course of action And Allah knows best
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12-22-2011, 11:59 AM
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#5 |
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Heart breaking story, my dua's are with you and your family. This is one of the WORST things that a girl can get into because as you said, they develop a taste. I know a family that had this happen to the sister, and it got so bad that the brother physically retaliated against the boy. Because your sister tried to commit suicide it makes this situation that much more dangerous. Otherwise I would have advised to go straight to the guy and make it clear that it is OVER. If you can try to direct her to some videos like ones from Nouman ali Khan that talk about this issue, he is very direct and clear. Introducing Islam into her life is the best way for her to change. But change has to start with yourself first, you cannot preach what you do not practice. Pray tahajjud (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!) and make extremely sincere dua, go to the masjid for Isha (also extremely important). Your iman can emanate from your heart and effect those around you. This issue will not be resolved over night, give it time, but if you are sincere your efforts will bear fruit inshaAllah. Allah swt can say "be" and create the universe don't you think he can flip the heart of your sister? Whoever Allah swt guides no one can misguide, so turn to him for help. He is all merciful, everlasting. |
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12-22-2011, 12:53 PM
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#6 |
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Alhamdullilah, I almost started choking-up reading how you've changed my little brother barak Allahu feeka. Maybe finding a religious brother for your sister would be a solution? Barak Allah
Everyone insha Allah will be praying for you. |
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12-22-2011, 01:08 PM
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#7 |
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I AM 17 YEARS OLD.. WILL BE 18 IN A FEW MONTHS.. I LIVE WITH MY MUM AND SISTER WHO IS 2 YEARS YOUNGER THAN me. WE DONT LIVE WITH THE FATHER.. MUM HAS BEEN SEPERATED FOR ALMOST 12 YEARS. Find a good suitable boy for your sis and get her married. |
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12-22-2011, 04:10 PM
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#8 |
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try to bring deen into your house somehow, i would say that if you have control over the internet block websites like facebook
as for these guys, if they are Muslim i would suggest that you speak to their parents rather than hurt them and risk getting in trouble with the police again as this will stress your mother out talk to your sister openly, tell her that you know you have made mistakes in your past and tell her of your regret, tell her when you grow up these things stay with you and haunt you and people talk trash about you and you don't want her reputation to be ruined. Instead of shouting... talk to her as a friend, tell her you care for her and your only protective because you want the best for her ask her if she wants to get married...even if she says she wants to marry her boyfriend its likely he will back off himself when she mentions marriage! but its better for her to be married than to be committing zina may Allah azza wa jal make things easy for you...Aameen |
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12-22-2011, 06:28 PM
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#9 |
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try to bring deen into your house somehow, i would say that if you have control over the internet block websites like facebook |
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12-22-2011, 06:43 PM
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#10 |
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Does everyone in your house say all their obligatory prayers? Do you recite Quran audibly in the house? If not, start doing it. I think that will bring some barakah. Also, try to talk to your sister about deen and direct her attention to the akhirah. See if you can get her introduced to some good Muslim girls her age so she won't feel "left out". |
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12-22-2011, 07:32 PM
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#11 |
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I'll leave the matter to sagacious people for it is rather delicate situation. On the other hand I would like to impress upon each and every brother and sister to spend some efforts in exposing the devious nature of the idea of personal freedom and openness that has been marketed to us by the external societies and lapped up by us - hook, line and sinker.
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12-22-2011, 07:41 PM
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#12 |
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Brother don't make this about you. Please don't do anything stupid no matter how much you want to.
The thing with young people is if you are too strict they will make bad choices, if you're too lenient they will make bad choices. The only thing you can do is teach them good boundaries and most importantly be someone they can confide in. It doesn't mean she will never make mistakes but she will have a compass to get on the right track. They have to be able to trust someone, your sister is scared of your mum, and she cannot speak to you about stuff. Then who can she speak to without being judged? Add to this she cannot go out like a normal person may do in this society. So really what is this house for her? A prison. Build trust with eachother. |
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12-22-2011, 08:01 PM
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#13 |
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Let users who have experience with this kind of situation give suggestions to the brother, my humble request. Start with by asking help from Allah SWT. 1. Prepare yourself to be humbled, spoken ill of and even be cussed at by your sis. 2. The only thing going for you is you are elder to her. 3. If you are going to be even slightly angry towards her, believe me you are going to lose of whatever thats remaining. 4. The threat of suicide which your mom hints at is NO JOKE, its is very real and she is not even blackmailing you. Remove that thought from your head. 5. Ask for forgiveness from Allah SWT first and then your sis, I'm not kidding, ask for forgiveness with all humility, she may not even give a damn at the beginning, don't care, ask again and again. 6. What she might very probably do is gonna have a go at you, recalling your past, have patience, she'll be out of steam (anger) after a while. 7. (As sister ARAM said) Sit with her, ask her what the problem all about, gain her trust, her confidence. 8. Don't YOU ever talk about Deen to her at this juncture. You are not the right guy, sorry to say that bro, its written all over your very honest post. 9. Get a 3rd person involved here, preferably an elderly khaandaani male relative, somebody she respects and fears, not the gossip mongers, definitely not, remember that she is a girl, its about her honor and when word about all this gets out as gossip, she won't be able to show her face again to anyone, even if she comes out of it successfully. Act as if everything is as normal as it can be. 10. Tell your younger sis to be totally be out of this and request her to do full on khidmah of her elder sis, do all this with full on brotherly love. 11. Don't try getting the details of the boy, yet, 'coz I don't think with your history she'll be comfortable giving it. 12. This situation can go out of hand if not handled with loads of patience, if handled well she is going to thank you all her life, if not curse you all her life. 13. Have faith in Allah SWT, and make dua, give sadqah, give it regularly, and janab, Allah SWT has kept our success in following his Deen, and every path followed other than that may only give you temporary success or may not even give you even that, how is it we call ourselves muslims and fail to follow His words and then if any calamity befalls us, we complain 'This too is from Allah SWT'??! Isn't that absurd?. |
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12-22-2011, 08:08 PM
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#14 |
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I'll leave the matter to sagacious people for it is rather delicate situation. On the other hand I would like to impress upon each and every brother and sister to spend some efforts in exposing the devious nature of the idea of personal freedom and openness that has been marketed to us by the external societies and lapped up by us - hook, line and sinker. 
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12-22-2011, 10:36 PM
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#15 |
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As-salamu alaikum
Does you sister pray the obligatory prayers? If not, then that is the answer to your solution. Salah keeps people away from sin. In fact, I know somebody who was just like your sister and he has made a profound change after he started following Islam and the following of Islam starts with the obligatory prayers. |
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12-22-2011, 11:09 PM
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#16 |
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Allah swt grant you and your family afiyat.
The first thing to accept brother is that this is going to be a struggle for you but a very rewarding one once you see the fruits of your efforts. It will require much duas, observing tahajud, charity and most of all PATIENCE. InshaAllah at the same time seek guidance from Ulema through mashwera. With regards to effort on family, Taleem at home is an amazing tool i.e. reading from fadhail e amal. Whether your sister or mother etc participate or not, make it your goal to observe it daily at home and a need for yourself. If your sister is away from practices of deen, a heavy hand and order like approach will not do much but cause her to rebel further. You need to instill the love of Allah, Nabi saw, the sahabh and the deen into their lives. You have to lead the way forward and lead by example. Brothers have always given me two examples pertinent to the effort on families: 1) When Nabi saw made the call to deen, who was the first to insult and rebel against him? His uncle Abu Lahab. Who were at the forefront against opposing Nabi saw? his Uncle- Abu Jahal. We see that in the struggle to do dawah, the biggest obstacle could be the very ones we love dearly i.e. our family and could be the means of doing our own tarbiyah. 2) Secondly, as you call towards deen, your sister will surely check you for weaknesses. Like when we cook meat or chicken, you cut it a bit to see if its cooked properly. In same way our family members will test if where for real or still "raw". This will require patience from you and once they see changes in you, changes for the better, THIS will be what will entice her towards deen inshaAllah. On a side note, it is heart warming to see youngsters in this day and age actually show concern for their sisters in this country. InshaAllah I make dua Allah swt grants you patience. |
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12-23-2011, 09:27 AM
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#17 |
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Thank you all.. You are all more or less saying the same thing.. stay patient. I really really love my sister. and mum. With all my heart.. but as a man, honestly knowing what goes through a mans mind.. what sort of things that CAN go through a mans mind... I have sat with the lowest of the lowest and the way they talk and degrade women is unbelivable.. its discusting.. from being with women in the past I PERSONALLY know the ''game shall we call it..
I want to comfort my sister and tell her everythings going to be oright, I want to tell her I love her and that I''l always be there no matter what, I want to show her right from wrong, I want to explain things nicley and patiently in the most humble manner.. I am angry but angry is just a little bit of what im feeling... do you know when people are married or in relationships and when they break up they are heart broken etc and this pain is described as the worst ever.. .. well this is nothing compared to what I am feeling.. I am literally HEART-BROKEN.. i feel sick.. i feel ashamed.. I am discusted.. i feeel so awfull... and i cant face her, i cant talk to her and because of this way that im feeling I cant do all these things that you are all mentioning and as what I myself mentioned WHAT I'D ''LIKE'' TO DO.. BUT IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TOO. im not going to get angry though i think its just best if i stay away for the time being and for my mums sake im not gonna cause or approach any of these boys.. plus I dont want the whole of my town finding out that iv'e battred people because they've been messing around with my sister.. thats just a chery on the cake!! for me and probabbly alot of people- extended family are never there to help but more in the sense to s****** and gosip. Uncles and auntys have there own lives, there own jobs, ther own children.. we dont need to be a burden on anybody else nor do I want that. My uncles only ever got involved when i got into trouble.. appart from that they were never really involved-and i dont blame them..its not ther haq I guess although I would for my siblings children without being asked? but we are all different.. and on top you know when people help you or do somehting for you.. they hold it against you.. even though if I was to tell my uncles.. its just as sickening for me as it would be telling one of my friends... I dont want to tell anyone , I dont want anyone knowing..but then I know there are lots of people out there who know me and they probably know.. and maybe ill shake there hands but I dont know they know.. what must they be thinking  if you people seen me.. I am a very macho sort of character although I am very very emotional but other people dont see that side of me, people look at me and think I have a happy life.. but I smile through all of it and always keep my chin up...thats why they say ''DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER'' AND ''DONT JUDGE A PERSON UNTILL YOU'VE WALKED A MILE IN THERE SHOES!!!''... If anybody ever has kids .. and Allah forbid the parents marriage breaks down-DO YOUR BEST to rebuild it for the kids sake and even if this is or isnt possible... dont ever neglect your child or use the child as a weapon or loose contact with your children, good or bad parenting or if any at all is what will make a human being who they are throughout their life.. and Im not saying this because I dont have a father.. because really you cant miss somehting you have never had. parents are the most important thing in the world.. if they had two brain cells too rub togethor and knew HOW TO .. they could be their childrens best best friends.. I truley belive that.. but we people have these so called ''barriers and no go areas... these barriers need to be broken.and im not complaining but... my sister has always had my mother in a sense even though they be busy with work.. but who did I have? to show me how to be a man, to show me right from wrong. help me, guide me, comfort me.. I didnt have anybodyyyy at alll... I had to learn the hardway.. and yes ALHAMDULILAH I am grateful and glad because I would'nt be the person I am today... I am a strong person but in many ways i am very very weak... its been tough for me even though people dont see or realise it.. its very hard being a child coming from a broken home... whos mother works there guts of too make ends meett..but then again my mum has always given me what iv'e wanted... they'v always said I dont want you to miss out on anything .. they have a good job alhamdulilah.. but then again being a single parent.. paying mortage..paying of your ex-husbands debts..bills...food..having the physical and emotional strength to tackle the physical and emtional abuse which had been caused by there partner..the gossoping of the locals..going back to Alevels and university at a very very late age...it all adds up and the list goes on... and still after all that- today.. alhamdulilah they have a good job and gotten somewhere..they could have just sat at home on benefits or worker in morrisons but they went out and got an education and a good job for the sake of our wellbeing.. my mother is literally amazing and till this day they refuse to get married because they say there tawajud(meaning focus will come off us) even though we have told mum to get married for themselves they still refuse...and I know mum dosent get married because of us but what I do know is they WORK for us--- but im going to re-pay my mum.. i never really will be able tooo..but im never going to leave them ..never ever... but yeah they've got to put food on the table but then whos meant to help us and guide us siblings. because even though mums trys there best to be there..they be tooo tired after work,they have a bite to eat and go to sleep early and the time they do get spare is probabbly more work involvinng there job..they are also ill..they have had some sort of cyst..like a mini cancer which can form into cancer-theyve had it for a while now and ocasionally they get very ill and it makes them very weak,but they still go to work.scared of getting ther wages dokkd... I know Im blabbbing on abit.. but lol what else can I do.. ive got noone to talk to and I would'nt ever tell anybody this sort of stuff-im only telling you because you cant see me lol haha.. im not telling you so that you can feel sorry for me,but merley read and realise what it does to people and prevent it from happening to you and your families.. and you know when you want to cry and cry and its as if you've got rivers of tears in your body wanting to come out.. but they just wont!! thats how i am i want to let it all out but I cant.. i dont know why.. maybe im bitter. i used to get a lot of suicidal thoughts.. i tried it once when I was about 14.. i never told anyone.. and it never worked lol i ate about 14 paracetomols but nothing happned haha :/ but i learnt that that was wrong but whenever i was tired and upset I used to get suicidal thoughts thinking id rather get punished than deal with all this rubbish in this world but again just like every thing i think of Mum. and since this sister thing has happned , when I found out yesterday.. i could'nt take it and wanted to topp my self.. but i wont.. its the devill her trys to torture you and make u do stupid things but im gonna fight i it and stick it out and change things for the better insh'Allah As for deen alhamdulilah mum is steadfast in daily 5 times prayers.. they have never forced it upon us but have always stresseed the importance of it and recently have encourgaed it but too be quite honest I dont listen and I need to start of by setting the example but im trying. i go to weeklys islamic talks and so does mum and they take sister.. Mum told me today they are thinking of putting sis in a girls islamic boarding school.. starting from next year sheell be 16 and will have left school... and a good madrassa that is.. ive heard a lot about the bad ones and know girls who have been there and apparantly alot of em get upto all sortssss regardless of the good enviroment they are in.. so if you know any good sunni madrassey please tell?? I went to a madrassa for a ten month when I was about 13. I think the main reason was because I was a complete and utter troublemaking delinquent and mum couldnt cope so they put me there so i wouldnt mess about and they'd know im safe... and some of the stuff we got up to ther... tobah.. i guess its called being young and iggnorant and too be honest all right under the noses of adults these things go on without them knowing for long periods of time.. eventually after trying and tryin to get kickded out of there.. which they wouldnt because they knew I wanted that..when I JUST started to kind of ajust i had a fight and my mum was told i was a bad apple and bad apples rott the entire basket!---alhamdulilah the guys there saved me lots of times from getting chuked out and did alot for me but obviously not enough.. thats why when young brothers with funny hairstyles and way of dressing,, when they go to masjids and they are shouted at and told to get out.. thats why they end up going to churches because love is shown.. our and us people we dont know how to do that.. the youth is pereshing ( and what is becoming of u atagfirullah.mum was gutted but we didnt tell any of the family. otherwise you know how they get the simpeltons/TP'S. looking back I hated islamic school but now i'd give anything to goo back it really is a beautiful life,..surrounded by loads of brothers.. and all as a big happy family.. living life by deen.. no major sins really can be commited such as women etc.. so in that sense it is a great place to be providing it is a good school .. alot of them lack good english results.. my classmates after I left were given mark schemes to real exams! and they got llike A* -this was probably so they dont get shut down but Iv'e heard about this sort of thing in other islamic insitiutions also Please make Dua our family bond becomes strong and it is full of love and deen of Islam.. also may we reach the ends of the tunnels of hardships.. and may Insh'Allah I sort my self out and carry on staying out of trouble and insh'Allah get a realy really good job and look after my mum ASAP so that they can retire.. I would love to be an alim even though I dont fit the description but being an embassador of Islam.. subhan'Allah ..what an amazing career and type of knowledge to have but I need to concentrate on my dunya studies so i can make a better and easier life for me and my family even though we may die tomorrow with the intention of being sucessful in this dunya.. but Insh'Allah we will keep the upmost balance...as much as possible. and also may Allah paak safeguard my sisters izaat and help us get thru this and whoever in the community does know either forget it or dont even mention it because it is just awful. Also may I have the tofeeq to safeguard my gaze.. latley i have been trying to avoid looking at girls and I put my head down.. and I thought non muslims bad but our own women are doing it now.. they look at you and tease you themselves which makes it harder ..lust is an aboloute devil.. it can ruin a person. please all remember us in your duas and I will definatley remember all you .. ill keep you posted  ))
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12-23-2011, 03:16 PM
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#18 |
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Brother,
Take pluto's advice literally. I mean literally. If you can't do that as you don't feel strong enough go for counselling as Ml FususAlHikm suggested. From what you've described you are in serious need of counselling. It doesn't have to be with a Muslim. Whereabouts are you based? Maybe we can collectively find and suggest some free counsellors for you. Do you have the financial means to pay for counselling? I know it is extremely hard to first of all admit one needs counselling, and secondly take the step to book one and pitch up. But just do it. If it doesn't work for you, though that is very highly unlikely, then you can always leave it. But for the sake of yourself and your family, you really need to do this. From what you describe, you are in no mental state to help your sister through her problems, sort yourself out first. Please also don't get your sister married off without counselling first. She is probably as much mentally affected as you are (though it may not appear to you). It is so easy to hide behind depression. |
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12-23-2011, 03:52 PM
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#19 |
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brother madani, i think you should find a trustworthy shaykh who you can turn to when you need someone to talk to and someone who will always give you the best possible advice based on the shariah, if you tell the brothers where you are based im sure they can point you towards a shaykh, people often refer to shaykhs as "ruhani baap" (spiritual fathers)
Try to be a good example for your sister, its hard for her to understand where you are coming from if she see's bad behaviour within you or if she see's you doing things you tell her not to do such as freemixing etc Try to get your salah in order asap, push yourself with this, it may seem hard at first but Allah makes it easy for those who make an effort. I am not sure if sending your sister to a madrassah is the best thing. People seem to think that madrassahs are a place to bring up their children when they can't do it themselves..madrassahs are for education they are not really there to do the job of a parent and when people are forced to go to madrassahs it puts hate in their hearts for the deen. Instead of avoiding your sister i would suggest that you put down the things you want to say to her in a letter and leave it in her room also i hope this video is useful to you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQsSDXZ0QfM i think the shaykh may appeal to you inshaAllah check out his other lectures too |
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