[leoto5Fm]

Well my original plan was to drop out for this year, work full time (to pay them back, pay my phone bill, and pay off first semester next year) and re-apply for business. They first agreed after a lot of argueing but are now saying i can't do that. They said i can apply to whatever i want in January...But i''m trying to explain to them that the ivey business school does not accept in January...Thus, i'd be put in a not so good program...Which COULD get me into law...But if i don't get into law...What am i left with? I need to be able to make a living...

Why not go to community college, get some gen-eds done and get good grades, then apply for the business school for the following Fall?

[spamkillerf]

going to community college would waste a year in terms of money and just learning. In canada going to community college doesn't really help you go to University.

[JosephNF]

brother ..

Just quickly went through the entire thread ..
tell you what .. imagine you got this 10,000 $ as a loan from someone..
and they are now after you day and night ? how does it feel ..

Remember with parents most of the times its not loans or gambles.. it's just investment
from them into your future (like they have been investing their time and their money and their energies)
and naturally with each investment comes expectations ... and i know sometime they tend to raise the bar
to high (i have finished 2 university degrees and i am half way through my 3rd here so tell me about it !).

My point here is just be humble and thankful to Allah SWT and have a PLAN !!

So what's your plan ? .. Don't just say i want to do this and that and how you guys (your parents)
are making me do all this ... all you have to show to them is some drive and a little sense of responsibility
and a realistic plan .. don't just list pipe dreams and expect them to believe and top of that invest in it.

I wanted to be in a band when i was in high school .. and i wanted to make it a career lol !

thankfully through the help of my parents i got out of that self destructive phase .. what can
i say when we are young we tend to be quite fickle in nature.

So get out of this rebellious phase and sit and talk to them and this time prepare a proper
and realistic plan with the help and guidance of a professional in your field of interest.
You might want to involve a relative or someone you both know who is already in your area
of interest to talk to them as well.

Heck you need a bullet proof plan and a lot of cajoling to get a grant in practical life and even
then if something goes wrong they are ready to skin you alive and we are not even talking about loans here.

so yes show them something and ask their forgiveness as well and i bet they will forget everything you did
wrong in an instant. They are your parents man and they are just disappointed !

[JosephNF]

And shaitan might whisper to you that "Oh how are they being so selfish;
All they want is to brag about their doctor/engineer son to their relatives and friends bla blah "

tell you what my friend... your parents are the least selfish people you would find on the face
of this earth.. no one else can even compare .. not friends, not your siblings and not even your
spouse ( i am not married but this is my own observation !)

All they want is you to be successful in this life ... you would be lucky if their desires are within
the bounds of sharia but that's another story altogether ..

@brother Mujhahid Abdullah : googled that particular ducati model ... i am drooling already !
May Allah swt make it easy and full of aafiat for you in this life and the hereafter, ameen.

[spamkillerf]

I know they don't want to use me to brag. As well, my plan isn't out there. My plan is this:

1) Drop out now and get a full time job in order to pay them back and pay for first semester next year
2) Re-apply to the university this year (With my 90+ average)
3) Volunteer along with the work to make it look competitive
4) Even if i don't get into that school, i have two back up schools (which arn't as good) but will also be much cheaper due to scholarships.

[pipittujbk]

This is a very, very, very long thread so bare with me...I thank you in advance for just reading it and attempting to help me.

So, my problem had started near the beginning of high school [ grade 9 ]. Both my parents were heavily influencing me to become an Engineer due to my dad being an Engineer. Though, looking at his work i never really wanted to be an Engineer...I just never had a love for it. But at the time, they kept saying you'll be an "Engineer when you grow up"as a joke and what not...I never really took it seriously.

As i finished grade 10, i had decent marks (I had an 87% in math, 85% in science, and mid 80's in all my other courses). However, going into grade 11 (This is where university looks at marks) i had gotten a bad mark in my first math test. That and along with me slacking off, my parents then moved me to a private school so i can fast track all my core courses (courses universities would look at) in that one year. So really, i'd finish my grade 11 and 12 courses in that one year...And not do any electives. I protested and what not, but at the end of the day they forced me once more.

So i did what they told me, got high marks, and now grade 12 came along. I had an option to go to public school and finish my electives as well as 2 needed courses (calculus and physics). I warned my parents...I told them that the private school they sent me was too easy compared to everyone else. Hence, i chose to go to public school to really see the level of difficulty. As expected i got a 77% in calculus, and 64% in physics. My parents then blamed me for not trying hard enough, saying that the private school was not at fault. Even though i can swear by Allah's name that the private school was much, much easier.

Anyhow, things went wrong and due to my calculus mark being low i never got into any of the programs i applied to (Engineering, and business)...Even though my overall average was pretty good [ 89%]. So my dad did a last minute call, and somehow gave me the opportunity to get into an Engineering program at a university...But i'd need to re-do 2 courses over the summer prior to entering.

So until now, my parents had spent over $10 000 in my education. So, ofcourse, entering university they expected high marks in Engineering...However, due to them making me fast track all the needed courses, the last time i even looked at those courses was over 1.5 years ago...I did not remember anything. This obviously made things difficult leading to bad marks in my first semester. That and i never liked what i was doing. I mean, i really hated going to class everyday.

They constantly screamed at me saying how i screwed up with the high school marks, they invested so much in me and i didn't pull through. And i told them, that i was thankful for the money spent but

1) The marks were way too easy to get.
2) I really did try in high school for calculus (For physics i did slack off due to me assuming i'd get into business...Therefore not needing physics)

I then went up to them and told them to please stop making decisions for me. All my life they've always chosen what i should do...And it ended me up in a profession i hated. I then told them i'd like to go to business (A well known business school). And with my repeated marks, and if i get a job [I've already had 3 interviews [2 said they'd hire me], i should be able to get in. And if not, i can still transfer to another business school (not as good in ranking, but still able to get a high overall mark which could put me into law). They argued with me, saying i wouldn't be able to do it, that i'm lazy, i won't get a job and what not.

Now, i don't blame them for assuming that due to my past but i was determined...i had finally convinced them to let me drop out, get a job, and re-apply to the business school and other programs. Then now, only after a few days, they're forcing me to go into another program in January...Putting me in a tight position to once again to go into something i don't want to.

Now, becuase of me wanting to switch a lot of arguements have come becuase of this...From both sides. My mother saying if this family breaks it'll be becuase of me {They're saying i just want to defy them and not take advice}..And my father saying that he can't take the stress and will have to divorce to focus on his own needs {He lost his job the summer before going to university}.

Now, i understand where i'm wrong, but they always assume i'm wrong. It's really hard to type the whole situation on a thread, and i'm just really fustrated and said. It's clear my parents dislike me a lot, they always argue with me, they're at a point where its their way or i'm on the streets...All becuase i don't want to do what they want.

I'm very fustrated and need help, i understand not everything i write here is clear, but i'd like a third opinion.

far from your parents disliking you, i think the opposite is true. The fact that your parents are constantly worried about your education is a sign that they care for you a lot. If they disliked you, they would leave you alone to fend for yourself.

they are just trying to be helpful, and you must decide on what to do next.

if you do engineering, you will hate it, but they will be happy - who knows, you might even grow to like it (university courses tend to be much more interesting than college level ones)

if you do something else, you will have to prove yourself capable, and perform extremely well, much better than everyone else. You must do exceptionally well in the first year, to give your parents confidence that you will be successful in your field.

all the best, and i hope things go well for you

[SasV7ReJ]

The other posts have been very beneficial (brother amr and abdullahmujahid in particular) so I won't cover what they did. But as a side note, even though you do not have to go into engineering anymore, since you want to do business it may not be a bad decision. Here is why, almost every financial/business type job offerings LOVE to see engineers. This is what I have seen, at least. Also, if you are an engineer and decide to get your MBA, that is much better than a finance major getting his MBA. Do research and double check that.

But, if it is the case that no matter what you do not want engineering, no problem at all. You never listed your parents reasons why they want you to go to school in January, maybe if you posted them we could help you verify if their is wisdom in it (which their probably is). Your parents are doing what they think is best for you, obviously you know this, so if ANYONE were to give you the best advice from the heart, it would be your parents. List pros/cons of going to school early vs pros/cons of applying later. And be VERY THOROUGH! InshaAllah this will help both you and your parents make a more clear decision.

[spamkillerf]

My main problem in going to school in January is the program is not ranked high...Compared to the business program where i want to apply in next September...Which is very respected. That's my main problem. But i'm too tired to argue with them, i'll just do what they want again...They always say i have to be a man, take initiative, yet they make most of my decisions (Please don't think this was a ploy to be a man...I thought of what i wanted to do for weeks and it was the best path, in my opinion).