[XYTommy]

As Salaamu 'aleykum

I recently found out my younger brother (age 20) being all friendly and flirty to ghayr mehram girls (hes then school mates) on facebook its disgusting, astaghfirullaah, I didnt expect it from him, I am so annoyed, please help what do I do? obviously I must forbid the evil, rght? He has lost all respect that I had for him this is so sickening, and whats even worse is that those girls (mainly muslims) too response him in same manner. Wheres the self respect? Why to fall for someone this low? la hawla wala quwwata illa billa

I am so upset with it, subhanAllaah

[Susanleech]

reformation of a person should be through explaination. if possible talk to him about this and explain the evil of talking to ghayr mehram.

[AdobebePhoto]

Your location sister? Advice will depend upon your surroundings. It is nice that he has only lost respect in your eyes and not your love. Who else will worry about us if not our won sisters, brothers etc.
Wassalam

[Sapremolz]

Your brother is not alone. Here is a report on the rise of social problems in relationships caused by social networking sites. At least he's not in the porn and sex networking sites. Perhaps he needs to have REAL social interaction by joining Muslim school clubs, attend mosque activities for youth, join a Muslim sports team, etc.
As a young man, he has natural urges and needs which are unfulfilled. Be patient with him.

Fasting and ibaadah serve as deterrents, but the pervasiveness of online virtual reality in daily contemporary life (iphones, blackberries, and 24/7 internet usage) can rival ibaadah and dhikr in predominance in youth who are not strong. Help him to find actual friends and social activities and inform him of the dangers of such interactions, such as from this article. Its possible, for example, that your brother is chatting with a young woman who pretends to be single but is actually married, and as she is chatting with him, her husband it off at work trying to provide for them. How would that make him feel?



A 2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that four out of five lawyers reported an increasing number of divorce cases citing evidence derived from social networking sites in the past five years, with Facebook being the market leader.

Two-thirds of the lawyers surveyed said that Facebook was the "primary source" of evidence in divorce proceedings, while MySpace with 15% and Twitter with 5% lagged far behind.

Those statistics included not just evidence of infidelity but other legal battles, such as child custody cases in which parents deny using illicit drugs but boast of smoking marijuana on their Facebook pages.

Photographs harvested from social networking sites – including those posted by friends or colleagues on their own pages – are a particularly rich source of damning evidence, according to divorce lawyers.

"This sort of evidence has gone from nothing to a large percentage of my cases coming in," Linda Lea Vicken, a member of the divorce lawyers' group from South Dakota, told the Associated Press .

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology...ok-us-divorces

[Pharmadryg]

This is the reason I say there should be NO internet or computer at home. Majority abuse the usage of computers.

Early marriages is ONE cure to these problems.

[jstizzle]

Early marriages is ONE cure to these problems.

One of the best cures. But todays parents

[EvaQWmrm]

One of the best cures. But todays parents

You need to fight the parents for this. Just like you fight for going on picnic with friends, or a bike, car etc...

[feeshyLew]

As Salaamu 'aleykum

I recently found out my younger brother (age 20) being all friendly and flirty to ghayr mehram girls (hes then school mates) on facebook its disgusting, astaghfirullaah, I didnt expect it from him, I am so annoyed, please help what do I do? obviously I must forbid the evil, rght? He has lost all respect that I had for him this is so sickening, and whats even worse is that those girls (mainly muslims) too response him in same manner. Wheres the self respect? Why to fall for someone this low? la hawla wala quwwata illa billa

I am so upset with it, subhanAllaah

Sister,

Calm down and then deal with the issue.

[jstizzle]

You need to fight the parents for this. Just like you fight for going on picnic with friends, or a bike, car etc...

wa3likum salam ,
shiekh i dint fight for anything , everything except religion was given to me.
i am allowed to play cricket whole night but no 'qiyam' in markaz on Shab e juma.
Why ? because this is not the right age to do all this .

'Sher jab burha ho ke kamzori ki waja se shikar karna chor deta hai to hum yeh nai kehte ke sher me taqwa agaya hai
But alhamdulillah deen is easy , even if we make sincere touba in the last part of our life , Allah will forgive us. BUT . death can knock any time of the day

[Nadin Maison]

If he's your friend on Facebook, just start posting Islamic videos about not having relationships with ghayr mahrams on his wall. You might embarrass him and his friends into stopping

[Pharmadryg]

wa3likum salam ,
shiekh i dint fight for anything , everything except religion was given to me.
i am allowed to play cricket whole night but no 'qiyam' in markaz on Shab e juma.
Why ? because this is not the right age to do all this .

'Sher jab burha ho ke kamzori ki waja se shikar karna chor deta hai to hum yeh nai kehte ke sher me taqwa agaya hai
But alhamdulillah deen is easy , even if we make sincere touba in the last part of our life , Allah will forgive us. BUT . death can knock any time of the day

Bhai, if a man can fight his parents for all other things then he can also convince them to get him married. I fell in my father's feet and begged him to get me Married

Haha..May Allah give him Jannat and make his Qabr a Garden of Paradise and may Allah give him Jannat ul Firdous. Ameen Ya Rabb

[RayFairhurst]

As Salaamu 'aleykum

I recently found out my younger brother (age 20) being all friendly and flirty to ghayr mehram girls (hes then school mates) on facebook its disgusting, astaghfirullaah, I didnt expect it from him, I am so annoyed, please help what do I do? obviously I must forbid the evil, rght? He has lost all respect that I had for him this is so sickening, and whats even worse is that those girls (mainly muslims) too response him in same manner. Wheres the self respect? Why to fall for someone this low? la hawla wala quwwata illa billa

I am so upset with it, subhanAllaah

This brother is 20 years old, he should already have been married long time ago. Why are the parents not discharging their duty of marrying off their children at an early age? It is no surprise that unmarried Muslims youngsters do indulge in zina, since they are denied the halal outlet (marriage) for their sexual needs.

[XYTommy]

This brother is 20 years old, he should already have been married long time ago. Why are the parents not discharging their duty of marrying off their children at an early age? It is no surprise that unmarried Muslims youngsters do indulge in zina, since they are denied the halal outlet (marriage) for their sexual needs.

Wa 'Aleykum Salaam Wa Rahmatullaah

In this case parents are not delaying it infact they have been on hes case since last few months but its rather him saying NO to marriage.

I come from the family where mostly kids are married off at teen age.

[XYTommy]

jazaakumAllaah Khyran to all the posters

[RayFairhurst]

Wa 'Aleykum Salaam Wa Rahmatullaah

In this case parents are not delaying it infact they have been on hes case since last few months but its rather him saying NO to marriage.

I come from the family where mostly kids are married off at teen age.

A few months do not make a difference.

He should have been already married way earlier, e.g. 15 or 16.

[triarmarm]

A few months do not make a difference.

He should have been already married way earlier, e.g. 15 or 16.

Everyone is not ready to marry at 15/16, and while I agree that it is an option, it is an unrealistic option for the vast majority of people living in the west (as parents WILL NOT marry their daughter to a teen).

I agree with a brothers usama's post about joining muslim youth groups. Good friends will keep him away from the evils of society, a friend can make or break you at this age. Find a way to set him up with good brothers and make tons of dua and inshaAllah he will become better, but realize that it is extremely difficult at his age to be all around "good" Islamically speaking, so be patient with him.

[PlayboyAtWork]

Send him for 40 days jamat. No Facebook for 40 days should be good for him.

If not, there's always 4 months.

[RayFairhurst]

Everyone is not ready to marry at 15/16, and while I agree that it is an option, it is an unrealistic option for the vast majority of people living in the west (as parents WILL NOT marry their daughter to a teen). [...]

If you are a Muslim you have to accept and practice Islam in its entirety and get rid of the remnants of disbelief like un-islamic values and understandings; to make it clear, there is no such thing as "teen age" in Islam whatsoever.

In Islam we only have:

• Non-Baligh (pre-puberty humans, innocent)

• Baligh (post-puberty humans, responsible for their actions)

and

• young (less than 40 years old)

• old (more than 40 years old)

If we treat our youngsters like children up to the age of 40, they will indeed remain children up to the age of 40. We have to cut the non-sense and treat baligh Muslims as responsible individuals; marry off your off-spring at an early age, remind them their duties as responsible Muslims and help them with advice and councel when needed.

Islam is crystal clear and knowledge is for acting upon, if people want to go to hell that's their business.

[pageup85]

Salam,

I suggest you leave facebook. it's not a good place for you.

[appleiphoneees]

Firstly, the atmosphere of your house should be changed. Do ta'leem at your home and make him sit in that gathering of your family. Make his mind to listen the Mubarak Ahadees Shareefa, stories of our Sahaba, pious. This should go on daily and slowly convince him to go atleast 1 day in jamat and then 3 days.