[Cinzomzm]

..

[freddystone]

Assalamu Alaikum dear brothers and sisters,

I am in a dilemma and would truly appreciate your suggestions and advice.

I want to have kids inshaAllah and so does my husband, but the problem is he doesn't want to take the financial responsibility of kids. I am a student right now. He is an engineer but works as a helper in a motel because he is too lazy to find a good job and he thinks why should he try to be any better because his wife is going to start earning soon, inshaAllah and then life will be all fun and play!

Talking to him about rights and responsibilities is useless because he is very stubborn and close minded, and all his brothers have also done the same. This mentality runs in the family. I had a miscarraige recently and he does not want to pay the hospital bills.

how come you got married with such person first!!!

[tofRobbroolve]

Salam alikum sister,
you are in difficult situation -
may be you can try to make him familiar with his duties and your duties, and rights and rights and duties of kids in islam.
I would also consider divorce but it depends on your relationship - you should think deeply - even you really can take the whole responsibility or there is chance that you will see improvement in the future.
I am little bit wondering if he would leave you die from hunger if you get pregnant and can not working any more? Increadible
I hope brothers - sisters will give you more advices in this forum. Istikhara could give you some guidance.

May allah help you sister!

[finasteridonline]

salam

what if you try to get some ulema to talk to him on the matter, maybe the problem is that he is in need of islaah?

[tofRobbroolve]

Wasalaam Sister. and thank you for your reply.

Talking to him is no use, I have done that. He won't leave me dying from hunger, no human being in thier right would do that to anybody. He provides basic food, shelter and clothing required for survival, and I know that once I start making money he is going to stop providing completely. He tells me time and again that once the wife starts earning it's her duty to raise the family. Even now when I ask for something like hospital bills, he hints that I will have to start working for that.

I asked him many times, what if things don't work out like that and I don't find a job, then he tells me that he is not going to try and find anything else either. With the income that he currently has, we can barely get through the month.

When i ask what if we have kids, then will you take responsibility, he stays mum on that. He has never asnwered in yes or no.

Salam,

and how he behaves as muslim generally? Is he praying?.....

[natahololll]

Why dont you tell him that ur not going to work?..then let him see how the situation will turnout with a lowly income..
Or warn him that once you start working that ur not going to use it on him but that you will be saving it for urself in case a need arises?
If his brother s are also of the same nature,do they have kids?are their wives working? How do they manage?

[new-nickname-zanovo]

Talk to the One who has complete control over our affairs: Allah .

Make Dua sister, it is the weapon of the believer. The following Dua will help you .



Note: The Dua is for both righteous wife and Husband.

[Cinzomzm]

Talk to the One who has complete control over our affairs: Allah

Wasalaam brother, I don't think there could have been any better advice. thank you for opening my eyes. I think I am being sinful by ranting about my problems here. May Allah guide me. Please pray for me.

thank you.

[Averti$ingGuru]

where did they get this information that the women must provide gross twisting of deen to suit your nafs

it is the husbands job to provide for the wife, even if a wife was earning the husband has no right over her money she is not obliged to provide for him

O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of the wife of one of us over him? He said, “That you feed her when you feed yourself and clothe her when you clothe yourself or when you earn some income, that you do not hit her in the face, you do not say ‘May Allaah make your face ugly’ and you do not forsake her, except in the house.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood in al-Sunan, 2142

wallahu alam

[9wQlZkIj]

where did they get this information that the women must provide gross twisting of deen to suit your nafs

Please have Husn-e-Dhann in Ramadhan.

it is the husbands job to provide for the wife, even if a wife was earning the husband has no right over her money she is not obliged to provide for him Why is she working in the first place when he's providing? Is it right for women to work?