[horaAppagob]

Hello brothers, I feel so forsaken at the moment, I try to follow Islam to the best of my ability, keep my faith in allah and try to help people however I can. But my life is riddled with failure, things have happened to me out of my control and I feel so defeated. This has not happened once but many times. I would love to give the details but they would reach 50 pages.

I have very little support at home, my mother is the only person who has helped me when she can, but she herself is unwell most of the time and I do not wish to burden her with my problem. I have no father because he passed away when I was six years old. My sister and brother make my life hell although they are 11 and 7 years older (I am an adult) they seem to take a real joy in seeing me upset or in defeat.

How do you have the strength to deal with such life? I know others may suffer worse but im slowly feeling like losing the will to live my life, I'm contemplating running away because i cant take this life anymore

[opelonafqe]

dearest brother ALLAH make it easy. Where are you currently residing? Have you heard of tabligh jamaat? Try to spend time with them. There is a good book called Don't be Sad by Aidh al qarni. Try and read it. Try to not be bothered about people. Trust me people will always complain and point fingers. Just do what you have to do and don't worry. Try and spend some time in the masjid....pray for me also.

[flueftArete]

Hello brothers, I feel so forsaken at the moment, I try to follow Islam to the best of my ability, keep my faith in allah and try to help people however I can. But my life is riddled with failure, things have happened to me out of my control and I feel so defeated. This has not happened once but many times. I would love to give the details but they would reach 50 pages.

I have very little support at home, my mother is the only person who has helped me when she can, but she herself is unwell most of the time and I do not wish to burden her with my problem. I have no father because he passed away when I was six years old. My sister and brother make my life hell although they are 11 and 7 years older (I am an adult) they seem to take a real joy in seeing me upset or in defeat.

How do you have the strength to deal with such life? I know others may suffer worse but im slowly feeling like losing the will to live my life, I'm contemplating running away because i cant take this life anymore

What happened brother? Is the problem of yours only lies in their annoying? Can you please tell us some more points so that we can give you good guidelines

Regarding the teasing, it is all a question of mind over matter. No one can annoy you accept to the degree that you allow them to annoy you. It all boils down to your attitude.

If you show that you are affected by their teasing, they will only continue. If you genuinely show indifference, it will soon stop. You just have to be very strong, and by that is not meant physically strong. You need to be mentally very very very strong. Condition your mind that although it exists, it does have to exist for me if I do not want it to exist. Teasing is just a statement. It is not a reality. It is just an expression, which is not necessarily true. Why then should you allow it to affect you, make you upset, or even bring the slightest change in your attitude.
Look around you and you will notice that some people in society have a strong independent character. Some of them may be physically small, but as far as their attitude is concerned, they are towering giants. They don’t care a damn what people think of them, what people say about them, and what society feels. They do not live for society. They have a higher purpose in life.{adding from myself: You have your old mother just think of her, she wants to see you happy in your future.}

If you too will adopt such an robust, vigorous, independent, domineering, individualistic, strong-willed, obstinate mindset, no one will be able to bring you down. Remember Allah Ta’ala is the One who created you, and you live for Him, and no one else. All the others are pieces of creation like you. They are all weak, and only Allah Ta’ala is strong. Why do you mentally regard them as big, important or in control. The problem is not them, it is only that you regard them to be something. They are nothing, so keep that in mind. Extract from here

I have also faced this situation and the result was loss of myself. The only solution to yours is just don't care what they say.

[horaAppagob]

Brothers, I will explain my life in two parts so it makes sense to people:

Home life; Since from a young age I have been aware of the fact that I never saw eye to eye with my siblings, I guess it was because I was the youngest in the family so my mother always favoured me, but I would like to add the fact that I have not been spoiled in any sense. But this difference between my siblings has grown to full blown hate, they do not like me in fact they hate me and do everything in their power to disrupt my life in terms of education and sanity. I have lost countless number of time, when they have said things to upset me (and I don't mean jokes or pranks) and force me to retaliate so they can enjoy verbally fighting with me, but I have held my tongue and turned the other cheek because I realise in return for my retaliation I would face Armageddon. And let me be frank I am not the only one who faces such despicable behaviour they behave the same way with my mother and I am absolutely powerless to do anything we have no relation but a community of Asian people, who do nothing but enjoy seeing such behaviour so me and my mother keep silent.

Education and Work life: since graduating from university I have went straight into employment while I studied for exams, my work place is supposed to augment my learning but what I have found in reality is that I get no help from my workplace and they take pride in making my life difficult. I have learnt to cope with this by telling myself that they are work people and not to take their behaviour seriously but as you can see, there is so much pain a human can take because my life at home is hell and so at work. I know Allah tests his subject but I feel like I can no longer go on, I havent known a normal life since the age of 6 and the energy and determination is weakening I just feel like I cant go on anymore like this.

I do apologise if this sounds confusing but I am not renowned to express myself very well especially what I am disclosing in this forum.

[jhfsdhf]

For myself personally, if I am enduring something repeatedly then I ask God and I ask myself what I am supposed to learn from this that I am not learning. I don't know the speicifcs of yoru situation, but perhaps there is something you are meant to be learning that you have not yet realized.

Also, instead of looking at this as a trial (even though it is) look at it as a refinement process. Think of it as God's way of perfecting you, strengthening you, preparing you, etc.

Find a surah or verse that helps lift you up spiritually in the difficult times, such as Surah 94. Psalm 62 is probably a good one for you also. (One of my favs.)

[nerohedfrs]

It's a Bird...
It's a Plane...
Its' Mufti Nazim Mangera (e-teacher)

Delivering Discourse 9: After A Storm Comes A Calm: Procuring Solace After Tribulations on Sunday from 14:10-15:00

If you can't ATTEND & WATCH Mufti Nazim Mangera (e-teacher) DO HIS THING then CATCH IT LIVE ON VIDEO

Here is the speecH:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7Flv0i2j3w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isn0N...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TixF5...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcjjI...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnY-Y...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpfEg...eature=related

[RSAccountssy]

...I know others may suffer worse...

This is what I would emphasize above all else. Too often, when we look around, we compare ourselves to people who have it better than we do. Either they have a job that we would like, an amazing spouse, a nice home, vast knowledge or any other enviable quality.

What is more appropriate and what in my experience has given me the energy and enthusiasm that I have needed in the most difficult times it to remember how much easier I have it than others. Think about the shelter you have and the food you are able to eat (in other words, compare yourself not only to your neighbour, but the fellow Muslim suffering through a terrifying drought). While you may not have your father, recall how lucky you are to have your mother, even if she is unable to make all of your problems disappear.

And after reflecting on all that, think about how lucky you are to have your senses. You have eyesight to find your way and legs that will carry you there. Imagine if you were unable to even do those things.

In situations like this, remember also to seek help from Allah, who certainly has the ability to relieve you of your distress.

[horaAppagob]

Dear Brothers,

Thank you all for the advice I do try to remind myself that allah has a purpose for this but the problem is i am worried of losing my resolve because my soul has taken so much defeat. I always used to tell myself that allah has set these trials for a purpose and remained kind to my fellow human, I have tried to friend the meek and weak people, give charity and be happy for people when they have succeeded. And above all I have tried to remain constant to our faith but I am worried that I do not have the strength to carry on like this, my life just seems to get harder and harder. And after all I am a mortal man I am not like the prophet Ayub or Mohammed and have not been bestowed the strength and will to carry on like this indefinitely. But all I can do is pray to Allah to release me from these pains.

I guess I have to come this forum because I feel lonely and have no one in the world to talk about this :-(

[nerohedfrs]

Dear Brothers,

Thank you all for the advice I do try to remind myself that allah has a purpose for this but the problem is i am worried of losing my resolve because my soul has taken so much defeat. I always used to tell myself that allah has set these trials for a purpose and remained kind to my fellow human, I have tried to friend the meek and weak people, give charity and be happy for people when they have succeeded. And above all I have tried to remain constant to our faith but I am worried that I do not have the strength to carry on like this, my life just seems to get harder and harder. And after all I am a mortal man I am not like the prophet Ayub or Mohammed and have not been bestowed the strength and will to carry on like this indefinitely. But all I can do is pray to Allah to release me from these pains.

I guess I have to come this forum because I feel lonely and have no one in the world to talk about this :-(

Get my email and drop me a line and we can talk about stuff, Insha'Allah.

Cars? Bikes? Planes?

[Plaumpholavup]

This is what I would emphasize above all else. Too often, when we look around, we compare ourselves to people who have it better than we do. Either they have a job that we would like, an amazing spouse, a nice home, vast knowledge or any other enviable quality.

What is more appropriate and what in my experience has given me the energy and enthusiasm that I have needed in the most difficult times it to remember how much easier I have it than others. Think about the shelter you have and the food you are able to eat (in other words, compare yourself not only to your neighbour, but the fellow Muslim suffering through a terrifying drought). While you may not have your father, recall how lucky you are to have your mother, even if she is unable to make all of your problems disappear.

And after reflecting on all that, think about how lucky you are to have your senses. You have eyesight to find your way and legs that will carry you there. Imagine if you were unable to even do those things.

In situations like this, remember also to seek help from Allah, who certainly has the ability to relieve you of your distress.

Don't mean to hijack this thread, but one question I always had about this advice (not that I disagree with it, I think it's good advice) : What about the those people who really do have it the worst of the worst? I'm talking for example, about those destitute, starving children in Africa who have deformities, diseases like AIDS, barely any clothes to cover themselves, no shelter, no families. What are they supposed to do? They live in a permanent state of pain and suffering with no light at the end of the tunnel (until they die). What advice is there for them?

[alenbarbaf]

Don't mean to hijack this thread, but one question I always had about this advice (not that I disagree with it, I think it's good advice) : What about the those people who really do have it the worst of the worst? I'm talking for example, about those destitute, starving children in Africa who have deformities, diseases like AIDS, barely any clothes to cover themselves, no shelter, no families. What are they supposed to do? They live in a permanent state of pain and suffering with no light at the end of the tunnel (until they die). What advice is there for them?

If they are patient, Allah will give them glad tidings in Akhira.

Sayyidina Anas (RA) reported that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) prayed: (O Allah, cause me to live among the poor and to die among them, and on the day of resurrection, gather me among the group of the poor.
Sayyidah Ayshah (RA) asked, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?”
He said, “They will enter Paradise, preceding their rich by forty years.
O Ayshah, do not turn away the poor even if you give her half a date.
O Ayshah, love the poor and draw them near, Allah will draw you near on the day of resurrection.”
-Tirmidhi
"No fatigue, disease, sorrow, sadness, hurt or distress befalls a Muslim - not even the prick he receives from a thorn - except that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it. "
(Sahih al-Bukhari)

[RSAccountssy]

Don't mean to hijack this thread, but one question I always had about this advice (not that I disagree with it, I think it's good advice) : What about the those people who really do have it the worst of the worst? I'm talking for example, about those destitute, starving children in Africa who have deformities, diseases like AIDS, barely any clothes to cover themselves, no shelter, no families. What are they supposed to do? They live in a permanent state of pain and suffering with no light at the end of the tunnel (until they die). What advice is there for them?

I echo the things that Azhar replied with. At the same time, even people suffering will generally have things to be thankful for.

So the person who is malnourished and lacking food still has a caring mother that would rather go with an empty stomach than to see her child suffer.

The person who is deaf and mute and cannot hear the calls of others can still see them. They can still read and write to communicate.

Ultimately, there is no person with nothing to be grateful for. A beating heart and life are worth being thankful for, especially since at any moment our situation might change.

I recall also hearing a hadith about a person who suffered all their life, was granted one moment to experience paradise and could remember nothing but that happiness. While their lives may be difficult now, if we truly believe in Allah and in paradise, we should understand how the life of this world really compares.

And ultimately, it is those of us with the health, wealth and physical means to change things that should be concerned.

[horaAppagob]

Hello brothers I took much advice from the forum and have put my life in that perspective thank you for the kind words, it has given me new strength and resolve and I hope I can carry on like this! Inshallah