[dselectronics]

...

[trubreTab]

P.S: Polygyny will carry on

If you hadn't said this... then:



[Sadaqah e Jariyah, trying to perfect the art of using images instead of thousand words.. Thanks to We All Know Who]

...

Yes Sheikh insha'Allah we are all in for it.

First step, let all those who are cruel to their wives, step forward and tell us the reasons why you do what you do.

The main reasons I have seen is the sickness in the minds, the Ego being hurt, the childhood abuse the husbands got from their parents... These are some of the reasons.. Men think they are superior [well they are..] but not so much that they start hurting the wife.

We are also ready to help practically

[car.insur]

If you haven't said this... then:



[Sadaqah e Jariyah, trying to perfect the art of using images instead of thousand words.. Thanks to We All Know Who]

...

Yes Sheikh insha'Allah we are all in for it.

First step, let all those who are cruel to their wives, step forward and tell us the reasons why you do what you do.

The main reasons I have seen is the sickness in the minds, the Ego being hurt, the childhood abuse the husbands got from their parents... These are some of the reasons.. Men think they are superior [well they are..] but not so much that they start hurting the wife.

We are also ready to help practically

Assalaamoalaykum-w-w
What?! is this some kind of joke ??... you expect ppl to just come out here and tell u their intimate problems!??

[trubreTab]

Assalaamoalaykum-w-w
What?! is this some kind of joke ??... you expect ppl to just come out here and tell u their intimate problems!??

Not on the forum ofcourse, they can mail the good colonel with reasons why they are violent at home. We are trying to stop all this, get to the bottom of it.. Insha'Allah, it will help.

[car.insur]

Not on the forum ofcourse, they can mail the good colonel with reasons why they are violent at home. We are trying to stop all this, get to the bottom of it.. Insha'Allah, it will help.

Assalaamoalaykum-w-w
My bad! Apologies! .. a thhhousand of them!!!

[DoctoBuntonTen]

Nice project, . Most who are abusive and violent with their wives will never admit that they are. I don't think they realize what they are doing is abuse.

[trubreTab]

Colonel bhai, please ask the Mod Aapas to give you some tips and projects. They were complaining about some topics not given proper attention.

And also Aapa Idle can help you, she also wants to address dangers to the Ummat.

Something is stopping them in voicing out their concerns and do something against those evil dangers.

[AnIInWon]

Nice project, . Most who are abusive and violent with their wives will never admit that they are. I don't think they realize what they are doing is abuse.

assalaamu 'alaykum
yes i agree....i reckon none of the men who abuse their wives would even bother reading a thread such as this one.

They are likely to remain "hidden" because the abused wives themselves "hide" them. I know of sisters who dont tell anyone even in their own families...out of shame or fear. Then there are those who tell their families but no one can do anything. ..then there are those who may tell the police but later retract due to the fear of scandal in the community!

What answers do we have for this? It would really be worthwhile if different people contributed ideas insha Allah so that solutions could be found. We also need advise from knowledgeable people on what practical help we can give the victims of abuse in terms of support and advise on what to do while keeping within the limilts of the sharee'ah.

[CAxrrAYN]

Salam alikum,
may be they will not come out with domestic issue, it is enough to speak about it like now, so that brothers realize that they might to do something which is not good and sisters can eralize also the situation. May be they can find better way how to live together! Reread quran or hadith, to join privat discussion forrum as brother below suggested.
w salam

[trubreTab]

Salam alikum,
may be they will not come out with domstic issue, it is enough tospeak about it like now, so that brothers realizz that they might to do something which is not ggod and sisters can eralize also the situation. May be they can find better way how to live together! Reread quran or hadith, to join privat discussion forrum as brother below suggested.
w salam

Do you speak urdu?

[trubreTab]

assalaamu 'alaykum
yes i agree....i reckon none of the men who abuse their wives would even bother reading a thread such as this one.

We really want feedback from them. It's very important. We need to know why they torture their wives.

They should be brave enough to atleast come and tell us from behind the curtains of anonymity why they do what they do...

[in4wikiu]

We really want feedback from them. It's very important. We need to know why they torture their wives.

They should be brave enough to atleast come and tell us from behind the curtains of anonymity why they do what they do...

Salams

I dont want to be seen as the cruel guy here and in no way do i condone abusing wives, however sometimes i think they drive men to do it. Constant bickering, constant fighting, constant abuse, constant belittleing, constant moaning, constant dissing the mother in law.........

i could go on.....

Im 100% sure not all do the above, but in some cases the ones that do fit into the category of domestic violence.

Also there are many facets to this ill in asian society, another reason is that families ship over other family members in certain communities to work, there had been 1 case in my town where a woman had not been out of the house for many many years, or rather basically since she arrived in this country. She was imprisoned as a slave as was required to do sewing and other household duties. Physical and verbal abuse were the norm. She was basically locked in doors and was kept as a prisoner for many years.

One day she saw the door open and ran for it, except when she got she didnt know what to do because she had never been out.

Her systematic abuse was carried out by her mother in law as well as her husband, i think her mother in law was the main culprit.

Another local guy murdered his mother in law and stabbed his wife and sister in law, or maybe killed his wife too. This one needs clarifying. But im 100% sure that a death occured from this. Poor guy was bought in from Pakistan to work in the family businesses, they abused him, made him work his backside off and basically treated him like dirt. One day the poor guy lost it, went to the restaurant, picked up a knife and basically went on a stabbing/killing spree.

Non of the above stories are made up! Both are instances of people being abused mentally and physically, that led to the former escaping from her prison and the latter killing or attempting to kill the people who he saw as responsible for his torment.

[AnIInWon]

We really want feedback from them. It's very important. We need to know why they torture their wives.

They should be brave enough to atleast come and tell us from behind the curtains of anonymity why they do what they do...

If one does not even regard something as a problem one will not come and tell us anything Mawlana. In fact i feel they need a lot of help as they themselves are probably victims of abuse or other physocological problems......why else would they do what they do? In these cases it is always the fault of the woman so when he lashes out at her it is "her fault" and not his. According to one woman everything comes under criticism and there is no pleasing him.

[in4wikiu]

We really want feedback from them. It's very important. We need to know why they torture their wives.

They should be brave enough to atleast come and tell us from behind the curtains of anonymity why they do what they do...

You need to find out what proportion of the abuse is british guys hitting british women, british guys hitting indo pak women, indo pak guys hitting british women and so on.

[Aleksis]

Bismillahi
I think the basic solution for all the evils in our society is gaining taqwa. When we don't develop love and fear of Allah SWT in our hearts, these sort of thorns will grow automatically. Only deen can mold a person be it a man or a woman. Some are naturally not aggressive and soft in nature and so they behave well with others be it with wives or anyone and they are harmless. But not all have good family background. In some houses, the basic way of talking is harsh and so they get that habit as something natural and in such cases the mujahidah gets tougher and only deen can change the person bi idnillah. When we get closer to Allah, all this will move away from us iA. I hope this thread will be sort of guideline for the mujahidah. We can think of arab society before islam, they were like animals but then we got the sahabahs from them and we know how the islam changed them making them all humble and best people. The solution for every single evil in our society is turning to Allah completely. Allahu alam. Let Allah SWT give us tawfeeq to lead a life a taqwa. Amin

[trubreTab]

Salams

I dont want to be seen as the cruel guy here and in no way do i condone abusing wives, however sometimes i think they drive men to do it. Constant bickering, constant fighting, constant abuse, constant belittleing, constant moaning, constant dissing the mother in law.........

i could go on.....

Im 100% sure not all do the above, but in some cases the ones that do fit into the category of domestic violence.

Also there are many facets to this ill in asian society, another reason is that families ship over other family members in certain communities to work, there had been 1 case in my town where a woman had not been out of the house for many many years, or rather basically since she arrived in this country. She was imprisoned as a slave as was required to do sewing and other household duties. Physical and verbal abuse were the norm. She was basically locked in doors and was kept as a prisoner for many years.

One day she saw the door open and ran for it, except when she got she didnt know what to do because she had never been out.

Her systematic abuse was carried out by her mother in law as well as her husband, i think her mother in law was the main culprit.

Another local guy murdered his mother in law and stabbed his wife and sister in law, or maybe killed his wife too. This one needs clarifying. But im 100% sure that a death occured from this. Poor guy was bought in from Pakistan to work in the family businesses, they abused him, made him work his backside off and basically treated him like dirt. One day the poor guy lost it, went to the restaurant, picked up a knife and basically went on a stabbing/killing spree.

Non of the above stories are made up! Both are instances of people being abused mentally and physically, that led to the former escaping from her prison and the latter killing or attempting to kill the people who he saw as responsible for his torment.

If one does not even regard something as a problem one will not come and tell us anything Mawlana. In fact i feel they need a lot of help as they themselves are probably victims of abuse or other physocological problems......why else would they do what they do? In these cases it is always the fault of the woman so when he lashes out at her it is "her fault" and not his. According to one woman everything comes under criticism and there is no pleasing him.

They can atleast tell us that it was the fault of the wife then we will know what she did that made him beat her.

My neighbour, an arab, he beats his wife so badly that i can't even explain it. She has marks all over her body. She was going to take Talaq. Shuyookh came to solve the matter. The problem there is that the father of the husband was also very abusive to his mother so he's also developed savageness in him.

[CAxrrAYN]

Do you speak urdu?

Salam alikum
no, I dont speak urdu


w salam

[Marlboro-oroblraM]

Moulana Tariq Jamil Sahib mentioned in his bayan . one of the roots of this is Akhlaaq. When the husband gets angry the wife can't keep calm and will answer back. vice versa.

[kjanyeaz1]

Sometimes women just dont shut up. they go on for hours like a bloody radio

Works both ways, doesn't need a woman to tell you that.

[Knillagrarp]

salaam:

hmm...strange!... there is no solution for peace!