[Paybeskf]

As Salam Aleykom
Allhamdullilah after i went 4 months tableegh , i did become a good muslim.
In 2 weeks iam gonna give nikah to a girl. My parent want me to give nikah, its just that the girls dont is a good muslim. She dont always pray & and dont wear niqab. I want a wife who wear clothes according to sunnah and a good practicing muslim . In secret i have find a a sister , who allhamdulilah is a verry good muslim . I want to marry her, but the problem is that my father have promise to married me to the girl father.
How should I tell my dad that I did not want her, but married to a practicing Muslim. I do not want my father to be angry.
I intend to marry her just to satisfy my dad.
What should I do?
Wasalam

[2puO4Rhf]

If you BELIEVE that you can change the girl towards the good after your marriage then you can go for it.

Otherwise, don't do it. It will create problems for both of you after marriage.

[bribiaLaubysdggf]

I thought obeying the Father was more important.

Disobeying your parents will have serious consequences in this world and Akhira.

Try to tell your Father in the most polite manner that you are not fully satisfied, but if your Father still insists, Its better to listen to your Father. try your best to change the attitude of the girl after marriage. Make lots of Dua.
May Allah solve all your problems. Ameen.

[Paybeskf]

Brother , the girl wont change. I give warranty to you, that she wil not change.
My familly dont know that she dont is a practicing muslim, only i know. If i tell my father i dont know what he will do to me, he will maybe trow me out of house. In our culture son alway listen to father.
The girl will 100 % not change, iam thinking of escapeing from home (I graduate from medecine, but only earning 18k pOUND the first year).
Other option??

[TessUnsonia]

As Salam Aleykom
Allhamdullilah after i went 4 months tableegh , i did become a good muslim.
In 2 weeks iam gonna give nikah to a girl. My parent want me to give nikah, its just that the girls dont is a good muslim. She dont always pray & and dont wear niqab. I want a wife who wear clothes according to sunnah and a good practicing muslim . In secret i have find a a sister , who allhamdulilah is a verry good muslim . I want to marry her, but the problem is that my father have promise to married me to the girl father.
How should I tell my dad that I did not want her, but married to a practicing Muslim. I do not want my father to be angry.
I intend to marry her just to satisfy my dad.
What should I do?
Wasalam

Salams bhai

Its not my intention to pick out your mistake brother so i really hope you wont be upset with me.

The fact that you have reservations about this girl that you have been fixed with is because of the comment i have made bold and underlined. It is deception from the shaytan and also your nafs. It is logical to be drawn towards someone who you have affection for and thus you have found an alternative who you like is making you think that perhaps the person who you are fixed with isnt right for you.

Let me guess have you discussed this marriage proposal with this other person?? and listen bhai, if she is also keen on you then chances are she will also not approve of this marriage and have possibly subtle hints in the conversation about what is right for you, which in turn will make you more confused.

Each circumstance is different - you need to speak to an Aalim e deen to determine whether you need to exercise any of those options you listed.

My only word of advise is forget the secret one and then think about it with a clear mind. I know this will be hard for you but it has to be done.

Istikhara is also something you should do.

Finally you maybe thinking that how can i forget someone who i have grown fond off - do zikr of Laa ilaha illalah, hopefully a sufi orientated person can teach you from this forum how this is done for maximum affects. When you negate everything praying this kalima it has the power to remove the love of the things you have negated from your heart if you believe and if that is what is destined for you.

Wassalam

[bribiaLaubysdggf]

Brother , the girl wont change. I give warranty to you, that she wil not change.
My familly dont know that she dont is a practicing muslim, only i know. If i tell my father i dont know what he will do to me, he will maybe trow me out of house. In our culture son alway listen to father.
The girl will 100 % not change, iam thinking of escapeing from home (I graduate from medecine, but only earning 18k pOUND the first year).
Other option??

Let me remind you about the Sahabah, Many of them troubled our Beloved Prophet before embracing Islam. But later they became the best Men of our Ummah. Guidance is from Allah. Similarly the Girl will change if Allah guides her .

Acts like escaping from home will break your parents heart, please do not do that. Make Dua and trust Allah .

[Paybeskf]

ONE BIG PROBLEM
Iam too ashemed to talk to a alim. My father know every singel alim in the town!

You may have right brother, the Need to forget the secret love. I need the bring the rest of my life with an idiot. ARGHHHHHHH. I hope Allah gives me a reward as a martyr. A martyr sacrifices his life for Islam and I sacrifice my life to follow Islamic law.
Greeting from a sad brother

[Paybeskf]

Let me remind you about the Sahabah, Many of them troubled our Beloved Prophet before embracing Islam. But later they became the best Men of our Ummah. Guidance is from Allah. Similarly the Girl will change if Allah guides her .

Acts like escaping from home will break your parents heart, please do not do that. Make Dua and trust Allah .

Iam Still 10000% sure. I hate tribal laws (forced marriages, i swear that my son can choose)

[furillo]

ONE BIG PROBLEM
Iam too ashemed to talk to a alim. My father know every singel alim in the town!

You may have right brother, the Need to forget the secret love. I need the bring the rest of my life with an idiot. ARGHHHHHHH. I hope Allah gives me a reward as a martyr. A martyr sacrifices his life for Islam and I sacrifice my life to follow Islamic law.
Greeting from a sad brother

Wa'alaikumus salaam wr wb,

Don't be ashamed to talk to an aalim. If you father knows every aalim, then maybe that aalim can talk to you father on your behalf and explain your preferences to him. The main purpose of Tableegh work is to bring people CLOSER to ulama, so you should approach ulama regarding this matter.

[2puO4Rhf]

Brother , the girl wont change. I give warranty to you, that she wil not change.
My familly dont know that she dont is a practicing muslim, only i know. If i tell my father i dont know what he will do to me, he will maybe trow me out of house. In our culture son alway listen to father.
The girl will 100 % not change, iam thinking of escapeing from home (I graduate from medecine, but only earning 18k pOUND the first year).
Other option??

Wow, if i earn that much.. I would have had.....

[Paybeskf]

Wa'alaikumus salaam wr wb,

Don't be ashamed to talk to an aalim. If you father knows every aalim, then maybe that aalim can talk to you father on your behalf and explain your preferences to him. The main purpose of Tableegh work is to bring people CLOSER to ulama, so you should approach ulama regarding this matter.

I dare not. I know That the Alim will agree with my father.
Does Islam really mean, that you must give up your love and follow your father (I happy vs. sad life)
Are they any other ways?

[Paybeskf]

Wow, if i earn that much.. I would have had.....

6 years of medical school. Hard work every day. Top A Levels and Gces . Hard work every day, for many hours.
One of my friend is a tube driver. He earn 22K Pound. Se the different? 25 week course vs 6 year medical school.

[2puO4Rhf]

Don't marry man. Beg your father, fall down in his feet. Make a sad face. Cry all day infront of him. He'll say okay don't marry.

[bribiaLaubysdggf]

Don't worry brother, Allah is our only hope. Make Dua to Him. Don't worry make sacrifices in your life with the Intention to please Allah, you will get the reward Remember we live in this world only for 50-60 odd years (if Allah wills). The life in HereAfter is forever.

Recite the following Dua often.

[Filmania]

ONE BIG PROBLEM
Iam too ashemed to talk to a alim. My father know every singel alim in the town!

You may have right brother, the Need to forget the secret love. I need the bring the rest of my life with an idiot. ARGHHHHHHH. I hope Allah gives me a reward as a martyr. A martyr sacrifices his life for Islam and I sacrifice my life to follow Islamic law.
Greeting from a sad brother

don't go into a marriage thinking like this, she is also a person and also has feelings its not fair to ruin her life just because you secretly fell in love with someone else

[Paybeskf]

Don't marry man. Beg your father, fall down in his feet. Make a sad face. Cry all day infront of him. He'll say okay don't marry.

He is Pashtun. He will never change his opinion.