[t78VPkdO]

Asalam Alakum wa rakmutallah wa barakatu,

I just returned home from another Islamic Event. As I usually am, I was disappointed by the behavior of my fellow Muslims. The salams were few, the pushing and shoving was abundant, and the children were wild. There was littering and uncovered arwahs by both men and women. The event was not very well organized, and therefor the people running the event were moody and rude.

I go to these event because they are few, and I feel that it is my responsibility as a Muslim in America to support as many Islamic organizations that I can. I have children, and I would like them to grow up knowing that there are more than just a few Muslims around them.

Now maybe I am lacking sabr. Maybe I just don't understand. I grew up as a Christian, and I have attended many charitable events and carnivals sponsored by churches. I have always left these events feeling like it was time well spent. If it weren't for the sadaqa, and my desire to be around other Muslims, I would never go to another of these events again.

Does anyone feel the same way as I do? If you don't can you please tell me how to have sabr at the next one I attend.
(Before anyone suggests that I volunteer to help run one of these events, I will stop you there. I do fundraising work for the Islamic school in my area, but everything I do has to go through a shura, and therefor I am not able to control the organization of the event.)

[violalmina]

Sister, the worst thing to do is to judge Islam by Muslims. The Muslims you will find who live up to the example set by the Salaf are very, very few, and all there is is... well, us, imperfect, silly, us.

Your area may not be the best for this sort of thing, unfortunately. I've no idea what Muslims in Pennsylvania are typically like. I know that there are Muslims in my area who make me feel better about Islam, but some do not. It's okay. the Prophet said that the best generations will be the three after him, and then people will get much worse. It has been going steadily downhill for a good time now. Remember that and it'll be all right.

[Borrinas]

Asalam Alakum wa rakmutallah wa barakatu,

can you please tell me how to have sabr at the next one I attend.

Thats easy to do. When i get impatient with someone, I just think about my own faults and shortcoming, and I ponder what if Allah punishes me for that(auzhubillah). Then complaining in my mind shuts up automatically and we will be more patient with others faults.

Also the irritability we experience is mostly due to the whispers of Shaitan, so seeking refuge in Allah (auzhubillahi mina shaytani rajeem) will be very effective.

[Toninvell]

have you observed any Ramadhan or Hajj in Makkah? If you didnt, watch this Ramazan (on TV if you cant go there), there are tens of thousands (may be millions) Muslims from around the world, all of them busy in different activities talking, eating, walking, yawning, doing tawaf, doing Wudu, offering Nawafils etc, but when Adhan and/or aqama is said, hundreds/thousands safs get filled with same people from different countries, speaking different languages, having different moods in accordance.

We Muslims are socially ill, religiously weaker, humanily mis-behave but we are bonded with in a single strand of Kalama, we have One ALLAH S.W.T. and One Rasul ALLAH S.A.W and thats what is unique & so special about Muslims, as another brother said, dont judge Islam with the state of Muslims after Salafs.

I dont know if you ever attended any event in Tableeghi Jama'at, if you have never, ask someone you know and attend one of their event, specifically arranged for sisters and see the difference yourself. If you dont have any contact with any Tableeghi person, as in any Forum. Alternatively you can get into an event arranged by some Tassawuf guys, you will feel what the manner Muslims have.

All the best!

[t78VPkdO]

Thank you for all the responses.
I do want you to know that I do not judge Islam by the Muslims that practice it. I hope I didn't give that impression. Islam is perfect and the Messenger of Allah told us so when he went on Hajj for the last time.
Thank you for the advise of looking at my errors myself before I judge others, and the advise of seeking refuge with Allah from the shaitan.
Also, no, I have not had the opportunity to go to Mecca or Medina yet. Inshalla, I will make it soon. I did go to the Dome in Jerusalem though during Ramadan, and the environment was amazing.

[Izzy]

WHen you go Hajj you'll love it. One thing people always mention is you can literally walk 4am in the night and not have to look behind your back. Such a peaceful and spiritual place.

[WumibBesowe]

Bismihi Ta'ala,

One of saddest signs that we as an Ummah are falling apart is that our akhlaaq are degenerating. The Muslims we socialize are only there because they are able to tolerate our lack of adab an akhlaaq. Those people who we do not socialize with stay at a distance from us because they are not able to tolerate our lack of adab an akhlaaq.

I pray that Allah grants us all proper adab an akhlaaq, because one of the first things which bring about spiritual deprivation is ill-manners and a lack of Islamic etiquette.