[TeksPaisimi]

as salaamu alaikum,

I have been wearing Niqab for around 14 years. I wore it out of choice and have never had doubts about it or considered taking it off. Wearing Niqab has never been a difficult or a burden for me as I'm naturally not a very outgoing person so it hasn't been something i have found difficult.

For around 5 years now, a lot of negative things have happened in my life that have affected me quite deeply. As a result i have become very relaxed with purdah in my thinking and because of this conflict in my mind, i am finding myself really struggling to wear Niqab on a daily basis. The fact that my emaan has taken a considerable beating during this time obviously doesn't help matters... The point i am trying to get across is that my way of thinking with regards purdah has completely changed. While before i would get extremely upset for days if my Niqab blew off on a windy day and a non-mehrem saw my face by accident, now, i wouldn't be bothered about it in the least.

I need to change my way of thinking to the way it was before and i have no idea where to start as this change of mindset has come about slowly over a long period. I therefore am in need of help and advice please. I find myself everyday making new excuses and justifications in my head about taking off my Niqab, please help...

[JohnVK]

Sister;

I'm sorry for what you're currently experiencing.
But know that what you're currently going through is a test through which you can gain blessings.

Firstly I would remind you that haya(modesty) is a part of Iman. So you are right that it has to do with your Iman. Thinking of removing your Niqab is a symptom of this problem. The Niqab is not the problem in itself.

Second I would remind you that even if you take off your Niqab, it will not help your Iman or improve your situation.

I've had a similar experience and what I would suggest is:
1)Don't make any decisions about the Niqab right now. Keep it on how you have been doing and forget about it.

2)Work on your Iman. Try to read more Quran, make more Dhikr, and be around other sisters who are more interested in the akhira than the dunya.

3)Try to remind yourself why you made the decision to wear Niqab in the first place.

Was it shyness? Conforming to what others are doing? Love and fear of Allah ?

Dunya reasons will always pass. Then you're left wondering why you are doing things and being thrown around based on various whims. If you make decisions based on pleasing Allah , your decision will be good and firm and Allah will help you through your hardships as long as you turn to Him.

Put Allah first and you'll always make the right decision.

I'm not a scholar, only an average sister. But I hope that others with more knowledge will be able to offer you more help .

[Rugda]

as salaamu alaikum,

I have been wearing Niqab for around 14 years. I wore it out of choice and have never had doubts about it or considered taking it off. Wearing Niqab has never been a difficult or a burden for me as I'm naturally not a very outgoing person so it hasn't been something i have found difficult.

For around 5 years now, a lot of negative things have happened in my life that have affected me quite deeply. As a result i have become very relaxed with purdah in my thinking and because of this conflict in my mind, i am finding myself really struggling to wear Niqab on a daily basis. The fact that my emaan has taken a considerable beating during this time obviously doesn't help matters... The point i am trying to get across is that my way of thinking with regards purdah has completely changed. While before i would get extremely upset for days if my Niqab blew off on a windy day and a non-mehrem saw my face by accident, now, i wouldn't be bothered about it in the least.

I need to change my way of thinking to the way it was before and i have no idea where to start as this change of mindset has come about slowly over a long period. I therefore am in need of help and advice please. I find myself everyday making new excuses and justifications in my head about taking off my Niqab, please help...

Do you think maybe some kind of outside influence is changing the way you think? Something happen? did someone say some thing to you to scare you? Sometimes our own minds can be our worst enemies, be strong, remember it's God you have to please first, then you, then maybe some others.

God be with you!

[AncewwewBus]

Please check Surah Talaaq verse 2-3 if you think Allah will not help you get through the tests.

[swissloveone]

as salaamu alaikum,

I have been wearing Niqab for around 14 years. I wore it out of choice and have never had doubts about it or considered taking it off. Wearing Niqab has never been a difficult or a burden for me as I'm naturally not a very outgoing person so it hasn't been something i have found difficult.

For around 5 years now, a lot of negative things have happened in my life that have affected me quite deeply. As a result i have become very relaxed with purdah in my thinking and because of this conflict in my mind, i am finding myself really struggling to wear Niqab on a daily basis. The fact that my emaan has taken a considerable beating during this time obviously doesn't help matters... The point i am trying to get across is that my way of thinking with regards purdah has completely changed. While before i would get extremely upset for days if my Niqab blew off on a windy day and a non-mehrem saw my face by accident, now, i wouldn't be bothered about it in the least.

I need to change my way of thinking to the way it was before and i have no idea where to start as this change of mindset has come about slowly over a long period. I therefore am in need of help and advice please. I find myself everyday making new excuses and justifications in my head about taking off my Niqab, please help...

sister,

Don't worry you are being tested by Allah, be steadfast. After all these years you are thinking of giving up Niqab, well this thought popped up due to the Whispering of Shaytan. Do not listen to it. Seek refuge in Allah, make Dua, and InshAllah you will be rewarded by Allah.

“AND VERILY, I AM INDEED FORGIVING TO HIM WHO REPENTS,
BELIEVES AND DOES RIGHTEOUS GOOD DEEDS, AND THEN
REMAINS CONSTANT IN DOING THEM (TILL DEATH).”
[SURAH TA-HA 20 : 82]
You have strived for Allah for 14 years, now dont stop or all that effort will go in vain. Be patient and make lots of Dua to Allah. For only Allah the Almighty can help us.

[kictainiSot]

as salaamu alaikum,

I have been wearing Niqab for around 14 years. I wore it out of choice and have never had doubts about it or considered taking it off. Wearing Niqab has never been a difficult or a burden for me as I'm naturally not a very outgoing person so it hasn't been something i have found difficult.

For around 5 years now, a lot of negative things have happened in my life that have affected me quite deeply. As a result i have become very relaxed with purdah in my thinking and because of this conflict in my mind, i am finding myself really struggling to wear Niqab on a daily basis. The fact that my emaan has taken a considerable beating during this time obviously doesn't help matters... The point i am trying to get across is that my way of thinking with regards purdah has completely changed. While before i would get extremely upset for days if my Niqab blew off on a windy day and a non-mehrem saw my face by accident, now, i wouldn't be bothered about it in the least.

I need to change my way of thinking to the way it was before and i have no idea where to start as this change of mindset has come about slowly over a long period. I therefore am in need of help and advice please. I find myself everyday making new excuses and justifications in my head about taking off my Niqab, please help...

Wa alaykumussalaam

Sister, try to be around pious company. Personally, when I get same feeling as yours, I do lots of Istighfar and I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan profusely. Also, make du'a that Allah makes you steadfast regarding your niqab and imaan.

Please include me in your du'as.

[PetrZimin]

Do you think maybe some kind of outside influence is changing the way you think? Something happen? did someone say some thing to you to scare you? Sometimes our own minds can be our worst enemies, be strong, remember it's God you have to please first, then you, then maybe some others.

God be with you!

You are one of a great man deserving to be a Muslim; so we make Dua for you that Allah opens up your heart to Iman.

@Mangetout,

I guess you are having problems with your husband. The reason to is that at first you start off wearing Niqab out of your Iman just for the sake of Allah alone. Then, when you got married; slowly you emotionally get attached to your husband in every way, including your intimate life with Allah. At first, it may not seen as a danger, but then it really becomes one. As a result, whenever you fight or argue with your husband, you don't even want to practice Tahajjud, or even five times daily prayer.. you feel like you are empty - because he doesn't love (!) you.

The solution is as you and other members have stated; working on Iman. Remove all else emotional bonds and re-construct brand new strong bonds between you and your Creator. Because that's what your purpose is on this vast Universe: to know Allah and worship Him alone.

How to make Iman strong? There is an easy way, by reading these blessed books by Bediuzzaman called Risale-i Nur. Trust me, it works, that's how I saved mine! http://erisale.com/index.jsp?locale=en

May Allah makes steadfast in your religion and makes your Iman very strong. Amin.

[PekHyvac]

I suggest the read the following books:
http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/pa...n-of-siddiqeen
http://www.khanqah.org/books/show/th...serving-purdah

[TeksPaisimi]

Sister;

I'm sorry for what you're currently experiencing.
But know that what you're currently going through is a test through which you can gain blessings.

Firstly I would remind you that haya(modesty) is a part of Iman. So you are right that it has to do with your Iman. Thinking of removing your Niqab is a symptom of this problem. The Niqab is not the problem in itself.

Second I would remind you that even if you take off your Niqab, it will not help your Iman or improve your situation.

I've had a similar experience and what I would suggest is:
1)Don't make any decisions about the Niqab right now. Keep it on how you have been doing and forget about it.

2)Work on your Iman. Try to read more Quran, make more Dhikr, and be around other sisters who are more interested in the akhira than the dunya.

3)Try to remind yourself why you made the decision to wear Niqab in the first place.

Was it shyness? Conforming to what others are doing? Love and fear of Allah ?

Dunya reasons will always pass. Then you're left wondering why you are doing things and being thrown around based on various whims. If you make decisions based on pleasing Allah , your decision will be good and firm and Allah will help you through your hardships as long as you turn to Him.

Put Allah first and you'll always make the right decision.

I'm not a scholar, only an average sister. But I hope that others with more knowledge will be able to offer you more help .

I'm glad you pointed out that taking off niqab will not change anything even though i try to convince myself that some relief will come out of it or somehow it may solve my frustrations. I can't explain how badly my head gets messed up sometimes sis and as a result i think that taking off niqab will give me some relief.

I wore niqab out of obligation and it suited me well as i was cripplingly shy. I'm ashamed to say i am not the same person and i no longer have that level of shyness. i'm trying to work on my eman which is one of the reasons i started visiting this forum, hopefully it will have a good effect.

The truth is that deep down i know taking niqab off would probably add to my guilt and if i do end up seeing sense i will be left with nothing but more guilt and regret. I guess i have to look at the bigger picture and in the meantime hope these thoughts will eventually fade away right?

[TeksPaisimi]

Do you think maybe some kind of outside influence is changing the way you think? Something happen? did someone say some thing to you to scare you? Sometimes our own minds can be our worst enemies, be strong, remember it's God you have to please first, then you, then maybe some others.

God be with you!

Its something that has been going on for the last 5 years that has changed the way i think about purdah. Please excuse me for not wanting to go into detail as that won't really do me any good.

What i will say is that after what has happened i really believe that apart from a few, men will generally treat women who do purdah as doormats and will not appreciate them. Women like me are viewed as boring, are taken advantage of and taken for granted. From my experience the same man will treat a women who is loose and lewd with more respect, kindness and love than a clean loyal women who has done purdah all her life.

As stupid as it sounds and i feel foolish for typing this but this is really what i believe, in the eyes of a man a women who does not do purdah, plays hard to get, and makes a show of her beauty is more valuable and worth making happy than a women who does purdah, stays loyal and keeps her beauty for her husband alone. Once a husband has his wife's heart and he is satisfied she will stay indoors and in purdah, be loyal to him etc, she becomes boring and the "shine" kind of fades, he will soon move onto another and treat her as something worthless.

[kHy87gPC]

As a guy, I can say, especially from my experiences with other guys, that your perception of how men view covered and uncovered women is absolutely wrong (no offense).

Yes, the man may act nice to an uncovered girl in an effort to "catch" her, but, once he has her heart, then he will treat her the same as he would treat a covered woman, i.e. well if he is a good man, or poorly if he isn't.

[TeksPaisimi]

Please check Surah Talaaq verse 2-3 if you think Allah will not help you get through the tests.

Jzk. I try to remind myself to put my trust in Allah alone and not any person. The fact remains that my eman has been very low for some time and i have been badly effected by what has happened. Its left a door open for shaytaan and niqab seems to be the victim here. it is very difficult to build your eman up, some things in life can either make or break you and i feel like after trying my hardest to be patient for so long, i'm falling at the last hurdle.

[EbrsaRynleot]

Do you think maybe some kind of outside influence is changing the way you think? Something happen? did someone say some thing to you to scare you? Sometimes our own minds can be our worst enemies, be strong, remember it's God you have to please first, then you, then maybe some others.

God be with you!

very tearful! such a superb advice from a non-muslim!

[UKkoXJvF]

Its something that has been going on for the last 5 years that has changed the way i think about purdah. Please excuse me for not wanting to go into detail as that won't really do me any good.

What i will say is that after what has happened i really believe that apart from a few, men will generally treat women who do purdah as doormats and will not appreciate them. Women like me are viewed as boring, are taken advantage of and taken for granted. From my experience the same man will treat a women who is loose and lewd with more respect, kindness and love than a clean loyal women who has done purdah all her life.

As stupid as it sounds and i feel foolish for typing this but this is really what i believe, in the eyes of a man a women who does not do purdah, plays hard to get, and makes a show of her beauty is more valuable and worth making happy than a women who does purdah, stays loyal and keeps her beauty for her husband alone. Once a husband has his wife's heart and he is satisfied she will stay indoors and in purdah, be loyal to him etc, she becomes boring and the "shine" kind of fades, he will soon move onto another and treat her as something worthless.

There is a restaurant by my house known for being a bachelor hang out, very dirty men who make open lewd comments to any girl walking by. When girls walk by wearing only scarf head covering and jeans shirt or whatever they will not hesitate to bark at her, literally. But when niqabi walks by they treat them with a lot of respect call them Bibi and sister and words of praise. I have seen it with my eyes.

Anyways, if someone treats you like a doormat for niqab then they will be questioned for that. Why are you stripping yourself of the dignity and honor Allah swt has given you, why are you throwing away your freedom to be shackled in chains of body type and shape?

Hidden treasure chest buried in soil,
Why let dark clouds full moon spoil?

[Cyclicymn]

very tearful! such a superb advice from a non-muslim!

yes... i didnt even realise till someone commented! May Allah subhaanahu wata'ala guide each and every person to the beauty of Islam!

Beautiful advice from shaykh fusus sahib sister, cannot add to that, May Allah subhaanahu wata'ala fortify your heart and steady your feet (and ours) on the path leading to Him, aameen.

[UKkoXJvF]

After removing niqab you will be treated worse than doorknob, you will be treated as piece of meat.

[metropropuskruww]

This thread proves that inside your heart is a voice which refuses to accept what your Nafs is trying to convince you of (i.e. taking the niqab off would bring ease). Remember, by taking off your Niqab you would only allow those who have harmed you in this world by treating you bad to harm your Akhirah too. Don't let this happen, sister!

Despite all the physical and mental hardships and torture, the Sahabah never compromised on their Deen & Akhirah. Reflect upon the difficulties which Sayyidina Bilal went through for becoming Muslim and upon the persistence on Allah's commandments which Sayyidina Abu Bakr displayed after becoming Khalifah.

[UKkoXJvF]

Just think of all those things you read in the books and heard in the bayaans about sacrifice and struggle for deen - so this is what we gained from those talks and those books? That we will give up so fast? So why stop at niqaab, lets just give everything else up too make our life super easy. Heck, now a days if we go to the local church and tell them we are going to give up our eeman they will give us a very good job, give us all benefits, give us a social circle, the life.

[Blaxastij]

Along the lines of what the brother posted, sister Magnetout consider this Hadith:

'Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud Radhiyallahu 'anhu narrates that Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: Verily in the heart of man, a thought is stirred by Shaitan, and a thought is stirred by an angel. As for the thought stirred by Shaitan, it instigates towards the doing of evil and falsifying the Truth. And as for the thought stirred stirred by the angel, it urges towards the good and confirmation of the Truth. So he who finds in his heart the thought of doing good and affirming the Truth, should know that it is (guidance) from Allah, and he who finds in his heart the other thought (from Shaitan) should seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan, the accursed; and then Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam recited this verse from the Qur'an, "Shaitan makes you fear poverty and bids you to commit evil deeds" (Surah Baqarah:268)

(Tirmidhi)


Also it'd be good to listen to the scholarly explanation of the Hadith, "Modesty is a branch of Iman"

It's Hadith Number 6 from the following link:

http://www.sacredlearning.org/zad-al...ekers/category

[TeksPaisimi]

Just think of all those things you read in the books and heard in the bayaans about sacrifice and struggle for deen - so this is what we gained from those talks and those books? That we will give up so fast? So why stop at niqaab, lets just give everything else up too make our life super easy. Heck, now a days if we go to the local church and tell them we are going to give up our eeman they will give us a very good job, give us all benefits, give us a social circle, the life.

Your right, what worries me about these thoughts is where will they stop? once i take niqab off, whats next, hijab? then what? This has been building up for a long time, it seems it has reached its peak and i need to lay it to rest one way or the other. What do you do when you have bad thoughts like this? Is it nafs or shaytaan or both? If its nafs then that worries me more as it will always be there.