[CGH1KZzy]

Iv just recently written this essay in regards to the value of children in islam aswel as tarbiyah of a child. Please have a read and tell me what you think! Jazakallah

The following is a 'guide' for parents or parents-to-be, its a wee bit long but i hope you take time out to read it, you'll be guarenteed to learn things that you never knew! and most importantly strive to implement it and spread the word to your beloved ones...x

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful

All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and infinite blessings upon the best of creation, the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings upon him).


Being a parent in the trials, tribulations and turbulence of the world we live in is a challenge for any parent. We are often surrounded by cries of “kids are not as good as they used to be!” and “they’re too naughty, I can’t handle it!” How can we reap the pleasures of having such a bundle of joy? How can we guarantee they will be our ‘saving grace’ when we are laid to rest 6 feet under and will be in desperate need of good deeds?

The Messenger ofAllah, (peace and blessings upon him) said, when a person dies, his deeds are cut off, except the reward of three deeds:
(1) sadaqah-e-jaariyah (continuous charity) (2) knowledge which benefits the people and (3) a pious child that makes duas for the deceased. (Muslim).

Before we understand the arrival of a child in this haughty world, we have to understand the very beginning point. We might be present in the world as “heavy creatures” or people of physical matter but long before humanity our souls were created.

The First Life: (life before conception); the world of spirits, began with the creation of Adam, (upon whom be peace) and the entrusting of his progeny to his blessed loins (area beneath the ribcage) i.e. every single person that will have walked the earth. Then Allah brought this progeny out from Adam's loins all at once and gathered them at Nu’man, a valley near ‘Arafat. All the souls including ours were gathered to take the covenant that we recognised Allah’s Unity and Lordship. In this gathering all souls upon questioning unanimously answered that Allah is their Lord. So those who worship and obey Allah uphold this covenant, and those who don’t, break their promise.

When thy Lord drew forth from the children of Adam -- from their loins -- their descendants, and made them testify concerning themselves (saying): "Am I not your Lord (who cherishes and sustains you)?" They said: "Yea! We do testify!" (This), lest ye should say on the Day of Judgment: "of this we were never mindful."

Glorious Qur'an 7: 172

We must also know that the Beloved Messenger Muhammad (blessings and peace upon him) had a more perfect and unique stature in this stage, so much so that his light (blessings and peace upon him) could be heard glorifying Allah while within Adam's (peace be upon him) loins, making a rustling sound like that of birds. It is also mentioned in Tradition that after Allah Most High took the covenant He recorded it in writing and fed it to the Black Stone, and that this was the meaning of those who touch the Black Stone during Tawaaf of the Kaaba saying
“O Allah! This is believing in You, fulfilling our pledge to You, and declaring the truth of Your Record!”

The second life is the life of the dunya (the world) and this includes the time a baby spends in the mothers womb. It is important to remember that Adam, upon whom be peace, likewise us, are created from “Adeemul Ard” which is earth. Upon the creation of Adam, upon whom be peace, Allah Most High instructed Jibrael (a.s) to take earth from various parts of the world, different coloured earth, hence today we see the human race in all colours. A testament to knowing we are simply from earth should be a means of humbling us when we become obsessed and vain about appearance. Our bodies have been taken as a mere loan from mother earth. The very same place the angel took the earth for our being will be the very same place we will be buried.


The Ruh (spirit/soul) of a child is blown in by an angel on the 120th day after conception according to the dominant opinion.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “At every womb Allah appoints an angel who says, ‘O Lord! A drop of semen, O Lord! A clot. O Lord! A little lump of flesh.” Then if Allah wishes (to complete) its creation, the angel asks, (O Lord!) Will it be a male or female, a wretched or a blessed, and how much will his provision be? And what will his age be?’

The Provision, lifespan, deeds and final abode are stamped upon the forehead of the foetus whilst still in the mothers womb. Therefore it is essential that if a mother wants her child to be of the ‘blessed’ then she protects herself in her pregnancy. She eats good food, stays away from haram, i.e. watching tv, listening to music, backbiting, gossiping and instead devotes her time to the seeking of sacred knowledge, recitation of Quran and making abundant dua to Allah for a blessed child. This will have a two-fold result: the mother will remain spiritually and mentally healthy and at the same time the child will be inheriting piety, good manners and many other angelic qualities - insha-Allah. It is no wonder then that these angelic qualities are often manifested in the infancy of many a great personality. It is said of some Auliyaa-Allah (saints) that they were born with certain portions of the Holy Qur'aan already imprinted in their memory. Others even refused to drink the milk of their mother during the holy month of Ramadaan (baby was fasting also).

It is important to note when a newborn enters this world they are in a state of primordiality, i.e. in the purest state of belief, how Allah created it, the state we all work towards reverting to after our years of sinning. Therefore this child is classed as being the closest to Allah due to it having the most recent encounter with Allah The Almighty, this pure state remains till puberty. On the birth of a child shaytaan is always waiting in the wings and upon the arrival of the baby he pinches it, hence the famous cry we always hear from the newborn baby.



Abu Huraira said, "I heard Allah's Apostle saying, 'there is none born among the off-spring of Adam, but Satan touches it. A child therefore, cries loudly at the time of birth because of the touch of Satan, except Mary and her child." Then Abu Huraira recited from the Quran: "And I seek refuge with You for her and for her offspring from the outcast satan" (3.36)


This is why our beloved Prophet peace be upon him stressed that let the first words that your child hears be “Allahu Akbar”. It is vital that the adhaan is prayed in the child’s right ear and Iqamah in the left ear. Upon this the devil runs so fast in the opposite direction that he leaves breaking wind.


"When the call to prayer is given shaitan runs away, passing wind noisily until he cannot hear the Adhaan" (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


We must make sure that when our children are born there are no immediate cries of “awww its so cute, he looks like his dad” etc, tell the delivery staff that you would like silence (freedom of silence!), make the first words that enter that pure child’s ears be the glorification of Allah. If the child has had a good beginning, InshaAllah we can be rest assured they will have a good end, with the glorification of Allah upon their tongues.


"A man dies in accordance with what he had lived in, and is resurrected in accordance with what he had died in." (Hadith)

Thereafter a chewed date or something sweet like honey should be placed on the childs palate, this was a sunnah practiced by the beloved prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) who is reported to have done this practice known as ‘Tahnik’ on Abdullah bin Zubair (RA) and Abdullah bin Talhah (RA).

Anas said, "I went to the Prophet of Allah, blessings and peace upon him, with 'Abd Allah ibn Abi Talhah on the day that he was born. The Prophet was wearing a cloak (outside) seeing to a camel. So he said to me, 'Do you have any dates with you?' I said, 'Yes' and handed them to him. He moistened them with his tongue, opened the child's mouth, and placed the softened dates inside. When the boy showed that he liked them, the Prophet, upon him be peace, said, 'This is the love of the Ansar for their dates.' And then he named the boy 'Abd Allah."

A child is like a precious jewel. By its nature a child is receptive to every kind of influence. A child doesn’t repel, it just takes and if good is instilled in a child that child will ultimately become good and the parents undoubtedly will be rewarded.

The Messenger of God, blessings and peace upon him said:"For a newborn child until he reaches the age of discretion (i.e. maturity), his good deeds are written to the credit of his parents, while his bad deeds are written neither against him nor against his parents. Once he reaches the age of discretion and the pen begins to write [his acts], God the Exalted issues His command to the two angels who accompany him and guard and counsel him”.

Another important point which is raised from this hadith is the acknowledgment that a child up until puberty, by Allahs will, does not sin. Therefore for parents to constantly rebuke their child with the words “You did that wrong..You will get sin for lying...You are naughty..You are disobedient” is completely incorrect as you are simply lying to that child as well as incurring the displeasure of Allah Most High. We have to understand a child is not completely ‘with us’ until their soul fully connects to their body, and this is upon puberty, therefore if they cause ‘mischief’ before these years Allah forgives them, so who are we not to? If a child displays signs of bad character then address this by explaining to them what they are doing should not be done instead of striking them and telling them they are wrong in what they are doing.
Parents owe their children personal worth and self-esteem which are the cornerstones for sound mental health. A child who is constantly criticised, "put down", reproached, made to feel stupid and inept, continually compared with brothers or cousins who do better, will become so unsure and so terrified that he or she will lose enthusiasm for learning, but more seriously than this we are depleting ourselves from Allah’s Mercy by displaying such crude behaviour. In order to receive Divine mercy from our Lord we must show mercy to our children for Allah only showers mercy upon the ones who are merciful to His creatures. Be kind and gentle to your children for they are the purest and closest to Allah. Testimony to this our great Caliph Umar ibn al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, would go out in search of the youngest child, simply to ask “Make duaa for me!”, due to the nature of childrens’ duaas being accepted, InshaAllah.


As the infant is the offspring of its mother it is common knowledge that the mother's milk is the most suitable source of nourishment for the baby. Human milk is a live substance containing live white blood cells and immune-fighting substances, and is a dynamic, changing nutritional source, which daily (sometimes hourly) adjusts to meet the individual needs of a growing baby. Formulas are nothing more than a collection of dead nutrients. They do not contain living white cells, digestive enzymes, or immune factors. In terms of human history, they are a new experiment. Therefore, the mother should most obligingly fulfil her duty of breast-feeding the child. By so doing bonds of love, affection and intimacy are strengthened between mother and child, and in the process, good habits and character are transmitted to the child. All these and countless other benefits are contained in breast-feeding.

“You are what you eat” and by feeding your child milk that is produced from a halal diet, i.e. breast milk, then undoubtedly this is the best for the spiritual and physical nourishment of the child. Unfortunately for all (except the producers that make money from it!!) we are living in an “SMA Generation” where mothers are resorting to ‘powdered milk’, which has in fact recently been shown to be a mixture of other women’s milk as well as artificial substances. How do we know what type of woman she is whose milk is going into our innocent babies? How can we guarantee she was a righteous woman who only ate halal? Then would it be a wonder when that child grows up to be immoral and disruptive? A woman may suffer from a lack of producing milk, this can be corrected my maintaining a good healthy diet throughout her pregnancy and constant duaa for good milk. If she still has an inability to produce milk then the best thing for her would be to employ a good Allah-fearing noble wet nurse to feed her child, there is nothing wrong with this because as narrations show the beloved Prophet Muhammed peace be upon him was wetnursed by up to ten wet-nurses (according to some traditions); the most famous being the noble Halima as-Saadiyah, may Allah be pleased with her. This undoubtedly is better than the artificial means. May Allah safeguard us all and help us stay steadfast in practicing the natural pathways which Allah, our Creator, has so mercifully given us.

“To learn in infancy is like imprinting on stone”. Islam and more recently science has shown a child has the ability to learn up to four languages by the age of seven. We must endeavour to maximise our children’s youth and instil within them the correct teachings that will aid them in their life to follow. We must remember and remind others around us to ensure the first words the child hears upon their arrival into this world is “Allahu Akbar” and strive to show kindness and mercy to our children no matter how much they test us! The Arabic word for womb is ‘Rahem’ which derives from the word mercy, so let us become conduits of this mercy. We must give them the comfort and blessing of breast milk and most importantly teach them to be beautiful people who will touch the lives of others. Instil good manners in them, for goodness is a habit that will remain for life. Oh and don’t forget to tell them to make duaa for us all!

[mincbiori]

very nice.

[CGH1KZzy]

Salams guys.. Im new to this forum and expected better feedback!..
What new things have u learnt from the article that u would strive to implement?..
I dont intend to merely write articles for entertainment but for believers to truly take something from the treasures of the deen and intend to implement them...so get reading and typing!lol...Jazakallah

[mincbiori]

For the time being I will move your thread to General Islam for the time being where more of SF member's convene. you'll get better feedback from there.