[SarSerceSaice]

I came across this interesting hadith but have a hard time understanding what it means. From what I'm reading, in general, it implies that women have different natural tendencies than men, is that correct?

The most confusing part is the "crooked rib", it's a really odd comparison, no?

Anyone with more knowledge care to elaborate?

EDIT:
Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Apostle said, "The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness."

[Kragh]

The comparison would be because Hawwa Alayhas Salaam was created from Adam Alayhis Salaam's rib.

[actioliGalm]

im not a person of more knowledge - i merely heard one scholar provide this gem on that hadith...

if you look at a rib from one angle, it looks crooked. if you change your perspective and look at it from another angle, it looks straight. [eg. look at it from the side instead of the top]

the scholar's point was that we [men] needed to step out of our shoes and see things from the perspective of women rather than trying to "straighten" them against their Allah-bestowed feminine nature.

[lookanddiscover]

This is what I understood myself. Please correct me if i am wrong.

The statement basically is 2 parts:
1. "if you should try to straighten it, it will break...."
Women have some peculiar undesirable habits, we should try to correct them but we should not 'Overdo' it, like shouting or beating excessively.

2."....but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."
Just because they have these undesirable habits by nature we should not leave them as such and not taking care of them. That will lead them astray. Rather take care of them, provide them with their needs and at the same time try to guide them in the right path in a subtle way.

I guess its a balance between being strict and being gentle. I m wondering If I can come anywhere near this in handling women.

May Allah bless us with a spouse with best of manners.
Ameen.

[cewIdeatovace]

im not a person of more knowledge - i merely heard one scholar provide this gem on that hadith...

if you look at a rib from one angle, it looks crooked. if you change your perspective and look at it from another angle, it looks straight. [eg. look at it from the side instead of the top]

the scholar's point was that we [men] needed to step out of our shoes and see things from the perspective of women rather than trying to "straighten" them against their Allah-bestowed feminine nature.

Does anyone have any commentary on the hadith from any classical scholars perhaps?

[lookanddiscover]

Does anyone have any commentary on the hadith from any classical scholars perhaps?

Yea that would be really nice.

[drugsprevi]

Bismillahi
I heard from a lecture by Maulana Abdus Sattar (hafizahullah), it relates to different tendency of women from men and cookedness is not a negative quality but its unique characteristic that beautifies it. A man has a different tendency than women and he can never expect her to comply with his nature for both are created different and if he tries to suit his nature, he will only break it. When a man understands this, he will be more tolerant towards his women.

I see it as a corner table which is bent to fit the corner that beautifies it. Now this bent of that table is the one that beautifies it and fits it. If it is not bent, it wont fit the place and in fact not being bent is its defect. Wallahu alam.

[drugsprevi]

Bismillahi
whatever example, as far as we take things positively and move with obedience of Allah SWT without looking down at others, Alhamdulillah.

[drugsprevi]

Bismillahi
I dont know why sister sodoku edited the post with example. I hope you didnt take me wrong for I didnt say you are looking down. I meant some men who take this hadith in a negative sense and look down women saying they are crooked in a derogatory sense. if you didnt misunderstand me, then ALhamdulillah. wassalam

[Kragh]

No don't worry, you're example was better suited.

[VonErmad4]

No don't worry, you're example was better suited.

Men today are more crooked than women. They will obey their wives in her wrong doings then blame everything on the wife. As if she's the main culprit. Then they'll use this hadith to justify their actions. For example, a wife says i want a tv at home, the husband will say no, then the wife will threaten about things, stop talking to the husband then the husband will remember this hadith and bring a tv and will keep on complaining about the wife that shes so undeeni and sinful... But will forget that he himself is the crookedest rib.

[SarSerceSaice]

JazakAllah Khair

All the replies helped me to better understand this hadith. But doesn't anyone else feel like this is a big discovery? Isn't there a running joke amongst men about how they can never understand women, doesn't this hadith show that, yes indeed, women are ajeeb creatures?

[c6vkuNRg]

This is what I understood myself. Please correct me if i am wrong.

The statement basically is 2 parts:
1. "if you should try to straighten it, it will break...."
Women have some peculiar undesirable habits, we should try to correct them but we should not 'Overdo' it, like shouting or beating excessively.

2."....but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."
Just because they have these undesirable habits by nature we should not leave them as such and not taking care of them. That will lead them astray. Rather take care of them, provide them with their needs and at the same time try to guide them in the right path in a subtle way.

I guess its a balance between being strict and being gentle. I m wondering If I can come anywhere near this in handling women.

May Allah bless us with a spouse with best of manners.
Ameen.

Great, that's more or less my thought.

I've knew some muslims who blamed the hadith and called it "misogynist"...
Far from it (at least for me), it means we men should be kind and sympathetic with them (women) and we should understand them and let some "flaws" be there. This makes very much sense if you think about mood swings women have while having menstruation
It's like the hadith about the "deficience in their intelligence"; it doesn't mean we men have to be proud, or to strut, because we "are not deficient in our intelligence"; instead, to understand women and how to deal with them.
I don't find belittlement in it

[drugsprevi]

Bismillahi
I think attributing undesirable habits just to women sounds strange bcos as humans be it men or women, each have their own undesirable characteristics for none is perfect and I think be it men or women, yaani husband or wife each adjust at their level. Allahu alam.

[lookanddiscover]

Bismillahi
I think attributing undesirable habits just to women sounds strange bcos as humans be it men or women, each have their own undesirable characteristics for none is perfect and I think be it men or women, yaani husband or wife each adjust at their level. Allahu alam.

Yes you are right. I think the word 'undesirable habits' which i used is not really apt. My bad. Men and women have equally bad habits but in different department. Bottomline is since Men have the responsibility to take care of women, He should be careful and act accordingly. I think this topic should be put to rest, before Fitna happens.

[drugsprevi]

Bismillahi
Yes this thread should be closed lest it becomes a fitna for one's eeman.