[wowwieholmes]

I know of a nice brother who used to give bayaans at many places. So one time while addressing only brothers, he accidentally said "Dear Brothers and Sisters"... lol I know of a brother who is accustomed giving talks to brothers and sisters, so once he was giving ghast bayaan to five brothers, and he said 'brothers and sisters' and then he said...'but wait there arent any sisters here'. Then throughout the talk he made the same mistake, and all five of us were holding back laughter.He repeatedly had to say that we were talkin about serious stuff and it was no place for laughing. The brother is actually a member of sunniforum but I havent seen him post in a long time

[quottrethew]

I know of a brother who is accustomed giving talks to brothers and sisters, so once he was giving ghast bayaan to five brothers, and he said 'brothers and sisters' and then he said...'but wait there arent any sisters here'. Then throughout the talk he made the same mistake, and all five of us were holding back laughter.He repeatedly had to say that we were talkin about serious stuff and it was no place for laughing. The brother is actually a member of sunniforum but I havent seen him post in a long time

haha yeah, it's quite funny when it happens right in front of you.

:@ Ansari - Nice.

[GAGNAPPEAPH]

Maulana Tariq Jameel sab doesnt like if some one shouts NARAY TAKBIR in midst of the bayan.

He said to one person " Hazam karo hazam karo, itna bada payt hai lekin phir bhi hazam nahi hota?"

English: Digest, digest, you have such a big stomach but still can't digest!

This Takbeer was after Maulana told the chain of ancestors of the prophet upto Adam alaihissalam... really awe inspiring!

[rsdefwgxvcfdts]

Mufti Zar Wali Khan scolded a guy who walked into the middle of his Jummah Bayan from a month or two ago, without anything on his head, while walking right into the middle of everyone, disturbing them. I forget his exact comments, but they went on for a while and I couldn't stop laughing (I was listening online).

[Valdoyes]

Once Mufti Nawal ur rahmaan sahab was delivering a lecture (tj) and he commented a joke regarding the innocent language of one state of India.

The way of talking of these people is very sincere and soft with humbleness.

Once two people were fighting, so one person replied angrily to his oppressor if you don't stop then "Mein aapki walida ki shaan mein ghustaagi kardunga"

[TimoDass]

Funny Nikah by Maulana Tariq Jameel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKaNQSq22CM

[Valdoyes]

Funny Nikah by Maulana Tariq Jameel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKaNQSq22CM

It has been snatched from me again.

[TimoDass]

It has been snatched from me again.

I know.

[ManHolDenPoker]

Funny Nikah by Maulana Tariq Jameel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKaNQSq22CM

I wonder whether that nikah was valid because there was a big break between the ijab and qubul.

[SHpuntik]

It is not funny in real sense but it seems to me funny.
In this Eid ul Azha, Before Eid prayer, Molana sb told that Eid prayer is Wajib and Fajr is Fardh, so whoever do not perform fajr, namaz e eid is not valid. Whoever didnt perform fajr yet, first perform fajr. on listening that, almost all namazis stand up performing fajr......

[Quonuttott]

It is not funny in real sense but it seems to me funny.
In this Eid ul Azha, Before Eid prayer, Molana sb told that Eid prayer is Wajib and Fajr is Fardh, so whoever do not perform fajr, namaz e eid is not valid. Whoever didnt perform fajr yet, first perform fajr. on listening that, almost all namazis stand up performing fajr......

That IS funny!
Someone actually called them out on it without actually doing so!

[Quonuttott]

In one the Juma khutba, a guest khateeb while speaking of Musa alai hi salaam also kept saying Phir'aun alai hi salaam repeatedly, kept catching himself and then finally said Phir'aun may he deserve what Allah swt gives him! That statement somehow prevented him from making the mistake again.

[LesLattis]

Very funny moments, that can be recalled.

We were out in Jamaat. It was Friday. During the jummah prayers, we are offering sunnats. After the completion, the Imam stood up and sat on the Minmbar. The muazzin gets up, starts calling azan, and after saying "Hayya Ala-Alfalah", says "Qad Qaamitis Salah" two times.

Lol, the whole masjid laughed.

[tramadolwithall]

Asslamo Allaikum,

1) A young Nervous Maulana said in his Jummuah Bayan, "And Fir'aun consulted his Astronauts (Read Astrologers) who told him that a boy will be born in Bani-Israel who will destory your kingdom).

2) One of the well-known Deobandi Maulanas come to Birmingham and a brother placed his tape-recorders next to Hazrat and pressed PLAY instead of RECORD; out came "Chaiyya-Chaiyya"

by this time:

a) he was half-way through the Masjid going back; so he had to turn around try to stop it and instead of muting, he made the volume even louder!

b) Hazrat (RA) had already started "Nah-Madudo-Wanu-Salli-Ala..."

Imagine listening to "Chaiyya-Chaiyya" with a Maulana and the Maulana simply sits on teh Mimbar while everyone is shocked and paralysed and unable to move

This brother is one of the most pious people I know and his crime was that he had borrowed a cassette from someone to tape over!

[Lvnufcdc]

Nice Sharing. Thanks for the post.

[Toscoropreark]

One Qari came from Egypt, while he was doing his qiraat (qari abdul basit style) he paused to catch his breath, next thing his phone starts to ring and his ringtone was (you never guess) qari abdul basit doing qirat, the whole majma started cracking up...

[tramadolwithall]

Some funny moments in Jamat

A young college student was given the 6 Points muzkira. When he reached the 5th Point Ikhlas e Niyyat (Purity of Intentions) he was quoting the Hadith in his slang.

Ek Shaheed laya jayenga (A martyr will be brought for reckoning)

Aur us se poocha jayenga (and He will be questioned on)

bata tumne Allah ki naimat ka kya haq ada kiya (how did you discharge the right of the bounties bestowed by Allah)

woh bolenga ke mein ne Jihad kiya yahan tak ke Shaheed hogayan ( he will say that i participated in Jihad and eventually met my fate and was martyred)

us se kaha jayenga 'Jhoot bolta hai Saala! (It will be said to him that you are a Liar!)

The whole gathering was shocked at the last statement (typical bambaiya).

[CicyHannyCeli]

Some funny moments in Jamat

A young college student was given the 6 Points muzkira. When he reached the 5th Point Ikhlas e Niyyat (Purity of Intentions) he was quoting the Hadith in his slang.

Ek Shaheed laya jayenga (A martyr will be brought for reckoning)

Aur us se poocha jayenga (and He will be questioned on)

bata tumne Allah ki naimat ka kya haq ada kiya (how did you discharge the right of the bounties bestowed by Allah)

woh bolenga ke mein ne Jihad kiya yahan tak ke Shaheed hogayan ( he will say that i participated in Jihad and eventually met my fate and was martyred)

us se kaha jayenga 'Jhoot bolta hai S***a! (It will be said to him that you are a Liar!)

The whole gathering was shocked at the last statement (typical bambaiya).

Ha haa!

I hope he stopped at that one slang only.

[Avaboormavoro]

Assalamu alaykum

In my first visit in jamaath for three days, At the end six of the qualities I told " shab guzari ke liye bora bistar baandh ke markaz ki haazri". Everyone laughed.

And one saathhee during dua.

Yaa Allah hamein jahannm ataa farmaa, jannath se hifaazath farmaa.

[purchasviagra]

Once Mufti Nawal ur rahmaan sahab was delivering a lecture (tj) and he commented a joke regarding the innocent language of one state of India.

The way of talking of these people is very sincere and soft with humbleness.

Once two people were fighting, so one person replied angrily to his oppressor if you don't stop then "Mein aapki walida ki shaan mein ghustaagi kardunga"

LOL I remember this Hazrath db said this one time in our gathering too he said these are people of Lucknow. Hazrath db has many many jokes he says in his bayaans.