[BaselBimbooooo]

السلام عليكم

Someone here quoted hakeem akhtar sahib db about polygamy where he discouraged people from practising polygamy...

I just want to ask, why his son married thrice?

JazakAllah Khair...

[R1king]

It could be that his son is not like the general people...

[soipguibbom]

السلام عليكم

Someone here quoted hakeem akhtar sahib db about polygamy where he discouraged people from practising polygamy...

I just want to ask, why his son married thrice?

JazakAllah Khair...

I cant comment on the personal motives behind the three marriages.. However the thing is that polygamy is halaal, afterall! Its just that Allah has conditioned its lawfulness with ones ability to treat his wives with equity. Hazrat Wala db says that this condition is difficult for most of the people to fulfill; thats why he generally discourages people from marrying more than once. Wallahu A'lam!

This is what i know so far. If I will get to know more about this, i will post it here, Insha-allah.

[251EPyso]

السلام عليكم

Someone here quoted hakeem akhtar sahib db about polygamy where he discouraged people from practising polygamy...

I just want to ask, why his son married thrice?

JazakAllah Khair...

Brilliant question, could you ask his son and let us know. I would like to know the son's reason.

The answer to Hazrat's advice and son doing three would then be better determined. But on the face of it, it simply means that his son is not him so they can have difference of veiw.

[enasseneiff]

السلام عليكم

Someone here quoted hakeem akhtar sahib db about polygamy where he discouraged people from practising polygamy...

I just want to ask, why his son married thrice?

JazakAllah Khair...

Assalaamu alaykum bhai jaan, missing you very much.

The answer to your question is in the citation. Find out where did Hazratwala db say this and what was the context, who was he speaking to? If this is general advice to all people, including his son, then thats all it is a general advice. Like his son, you dont have to accept it if you dont want to. He was not issuing a command I dont think, he was just giving general advice.

[Kolokireo]

I cant comment on the personal motives behind the three marriages.. However the thing is that polygamy is halaal, afterall! Its just that Allah has conditioned its lawfulness with ones ability to treat his wives with equity. Hazrat Wala db says that this condition is difficult for most of the people to fulfill; thats why he generally discourages people from marrying more than once. Wallahu A'lam!

This is what i know so far. If I will get to know more about this, i will post it here, Insha-allah.

My real question is very simple, Why discourage something that Allah has encouraged, Rasool Allah صلي الله عليه وسلم has encouraged, and Sahaba رضي الله عنهم have encouraged?

[Cengaeas]

Brilliant question, could you ask his son and let us know. I would like to know the son's reason.

The answer to Hazrat's advice and son doing three would then be better determined. But on the face of it, it simply means that his son is not him so they can have difference of veiw.

No i can't ask him thats why I asked here because it seems there are people here who are close to them and have access to the khanqah. So maybe they can ask him.

My question is not about difference of view. My question is when his son can do it, then why discourage the general masses? If someone wants to get another wife, he's advised to do sabr and keep himself busy with zikr azkar and to do the tasawwuf asbaq... etc etc... So his son is also a buzurg, why didn't he do sabr and indulge in extensive zikr cause its easy for buzurgs to do zikr then a normal person...

[vipbunter]

Assalaamu alaykum bhai jaan, missing you very much.

The answer to your question is in the citation. Find out where did Hazratwala db say this and what was the context, who was he speaking to? If this is general advice to all people, including his son, then thats all it is a general advice. Like his son, you dont have to accept it if you dont want to. He was not issuing a command I dont think, he was just giving general advice.

وعليكم السلام

Sheikh sahib, koi to hai dunia mein jo hume miss karta hai...

Someone posted his saying in the forum. I can't seem to find it. Sheikh sahib all i'm saying is why do we advise people not to marry again? Instead why can't we give them advice that do marry again and marry widows and divorcees so that you support them. And when you marry again, give the wives their huqooq. Just like we make bayans about giving the ikhloti begum her huqooq?

So what i'm saying is that we've made this aspect of deen practically Haram even though we say no its not haram.. But our actions prove otherwise. When we say that no one can do justice these days (ive heard many muftis saying this), we're actually saying that since no one can do justice so it's haram to marry. So we make it practically haram....

The thing is that the evil of polygamy have made way into the deepest of our minds and hearts that no matter what, we see it as evil. And the person who's doing it is seen as an evil monster who's just after women... WHY?

ًWhy is it so that we strive to follow each and every sunnah, and thousands of bayans are made on following sunnah but when it comes to this important sunnah which is not just limited to your individual life but instead it has an impact on the muashra, we don't make any bayans, we don't tell people this is also an important sunnah, we don't tell them that it's the sunnah of all the prophets, majority of the sahaba, and esp its the Sunnah of Our Prophet صلي الله عليه وسلم... We never tell people this. What we do is when some guy who wants to save himself from zina and comes to marry again, we advise him not to get a wife instead do zikr and do sabr. So why did Allah allow it in the first place? Allah shudve told us to do zikr and sabr... No need to get married...

My other question is that, why do we give our sheikhs, our buzurgs, our peers more importance than Sahaba and Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Again we don't accept this but its proven practically. When a sheikh tells you not to marry we'll spend day and night mentioning, look our sheikh has told us not to get second wives. I met one mufti 2 weeks ago, spoke to him about polygamy. His first answer was well Hazrat Maulana..... has written in his book that it's better to stick to one wife because of the troubles and problems created when you get a second wife. So in short, sab se pehlay pakistan. I should live in peace, everyone else should go to hell.. I shouuldnt care about the women who are widowed, divorced in a young age and can't find any husbands.. I should worry only about my one and only wife.... etc etc

In the end ill qoute a hadith of Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas رضي الله عنه for those who believe that sayings of Sahaba hold more value than sayings of the sheikh:

عن سعيد بن جبير قال: قال لي ابن عباس: هل تزوجت قلت لا، قال فتزوج فإن خير هذه الأمة أكثرها نساء

صحيح البخاري

Hazrat Ibn e Abbas رضي الله عنه asked Saeed bin Jubair rh, are you marrieD? he said no, He said, go and marry because the best of this ummat is the one who has the most wives.....

Muhadditheen say that it can mean two things:

1. If two people are equal in all other things then the better one will be the one who has more wives.
2. That the best of this Ummah - Rasool Allah صلي الله عليه وسلم- had the most wives...

Either way, it encourages us to get more wives....

And there are many more hadith....

Some other time...

[Jannet.K]

Assalaamu alaykum bhai jaan, missing you very much.

The answer to your question is in the citation. Find out where did Hazratwala db say this and what was the context, who was he speaking to? .

In Tarbiyet ‘ashiqan e Khuda part 2، page 424

[DiatryDal]

It is from Tarbiyet ‘ashiqan e Khuda part 2، page 424

I'm speechless after reading this..

[MIBgirlsXXL]

I'm speechless after reading this..

Bismillahi
Hazrat has the strong point at least when it comes to the majority of indo pak muslims.
Shamelessly men don't stop getting dowry from the wife when it should be the other way violating her basic rights as one starts the life and how long the ulema have been trying to abolish this shameless act but the result is yet to be seen at a significant level and the way divorces are heading, no matter how things are worst.
Even if a woman wants to go as a second wife, it is better to go with an arab man for he is well acquainted with but definitely indo-pak men are far from keeping up the rights and this is to do with the majority of muslims and she will be treated with honor in arab society while she will be looked down the by the family of the husband abandoning her showing only special sympathy to the first wife as the second wife is a devil and came through illegal means making her life miserable. Indeed the evils are more. Indo-pak society is yet to grow up more and the ulema will be keen in saving the ship that is drowning than heading towards and encouraging one towards more complication which will make things worst. Those can afford to enter the marriage knowing things in its entirety, I dont think it is a problem but ulema know the society better where they are living in.
Allahu alam

[Unonounaple]

indopak muslims can't even keep up with rights of one wife so we should stop people from marrying altogether. Kyun keh woh to sahaba thay jo biwi kay huqooq de saktay thay,k hum nahi de saktay is liye better to stay away warna qayamat k din pakar hogi....

As for dowry, the main reason for dowry is lack of polygamy. Because there are more women than men, which means more supply than demand. So when the supply is more than the demand anywhere, to sell your goods you have to bring up attractive packages like buy 1 get 1 free and also lower the price. But when the demand is more you don't give any free stuff and the price is also high.

You can just pick up the matrimonial classified in any newspaper esp jang in pk and see how the ads are of girls. It almost like they are selling a car. Why?

[patrycjakolekk]

indopak muslims can't even keep up with rights of one wife so we should stop people from marrying altogether. Kyun keh woh to sahaba thay jo biwi kay huqooq de saktay thay,k hum nahi de saktay is liye better to stay away warna qayamat k din pakar hogi....

As for dowry, the main reason for dowry is lack of polygamy. Because there are more women than men, which means more supply than demand. So when the supply is more than the demand anywhere, to sell your goods you have to bring up attractive packages like buy 1 get 1 free and also lower the price. But when the demand is more you don't give any free stuff and the price is also high.

You can just pick up the matrimonial classified in any newspaper esp jang in pk and see how the ads are of girls. It almost like they are selling a car. Why?

Bismillahi
Dowry is not bcos lack of polygamy or else it wont go for centuries here.
It is that they are in ignorance following the mushriks of al-hind.
I was told every year in india when we compare the number of marriages, the number of divorces filed in the muslim community is more than that.
When people cant tolerate one wife and fitna is in a shooting level, will ulema and that too of shuyook type, will they think of saving one single marriage or push them towards destroying more families.
Sahabahs and their wives they were all well acquainted with polygamy even before islam. There the wives came down from 10s to 4 and here the case is different. You say Allah SWT allowed and there can be people of view that it is bcos of weakness of men keeping up the rights, Allah didnt make it compulsory and He SWt warned like mentioned by the hazrat. So each can have their views and so I think Hazrat said keeping in mind the state of the muslims society he is living in. Allahu alam.

[Automobill]

Bismillahi
Also baat just demand se nahi banti. We enter marriage to save from fitna and when we see more fitna entering the polygamy, I prefer a life of spinster than going as second wife where I will be treated worst as a second grade. Sahabahs and wives might have fights in their homes and they adjusted but their honor was kept high by the men but yahan to worst hai. So first let men grow a bit and and show it to to shuyook, then they themselves will advise to go for polygamy.

[Pyuvjzwf]

Assalamualaikum Wr Wbr,

Brother Taliban, i am sure that your intention is pure in asking this question and you want to clear this confusion. However, it has always been the practice of Akaabir to maintain respect of Scholars and Akabir...I am sure you understand

As for your original question and the link that a brother posted, please note that this was taken from a compilation of letters by Hazrat Wala Db sent to his mureeds. Responses to each mureed depend upon his particular condition and the Shaikh is aware of his character and his past illnesses. Therefore the answer mentioned over there is for that particular individual. We need to see things in context and maintain Husn e Dhan with one of the leading Buzurgs of our time.

This is not a general rule for everybody. Prescriptions differ for every patient.

[Kolokireo]

وعليكم السلام

Sheikh sahib, koi to hai dunia mein jo hume miss karta hai...

Someone posted his saying in the forum. I can't seem to find it. Sheikh sahib all i'm saying is why do we advise people not to marry again? Instead why can't we give them advice that do marry again and marry widows and divorcees so that you support them. And when you marry again, give the wives their huqooq. Just like we make bayans about giving the ikhloti begum her huqooq?

So what i'm saying is that we've made this aspect of deen practically Haram even though we say no its not haram.. But our actions prove otherwise. When we say that no one can do justice these days (ive heard many muftis saying this), we're actually saying that since no one can do justice so it's haram to marry. So we make it practically haram....

The thing is that the evil of polygamy have made way into the deepest of our minds and hearts that no matter what, we see it as evil. And the person who's doing it is seen as an evil monster who's just after women... WHY?

ًWhy is it so that we strive to follow each and every sunnah, and thousands of bayans are made on following sunnah but when it comes to this important sunnah which is not just limited to your individual life but instead it has an impact on the muashra, we don't make any bayans, we don't tell people this is also an important sunnah, we don't tell them that it's the sunnah of all the prophets, majority of the sahaba, and esp its the Sunnah of Our Prophet صلي الله عليه وسلم... We never tell people this. What we do is when some guy who wants to save himself from zina and comes to marry again, we advise him not to get a wife instead do zikr and do sabr. So why did Allah allow it in the first place? Allah shudve told us to do zikr and sabr... No need to get married...

My other question is that, why do we give our sheikhs, our buzurgs, our peers more importance than Sahaba and Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam. Again we don't accept this but its proven practically. When a sheikh tells you not to marry we'll spend day and night mentioning, look our sheikh has told us not to get second wives. I met one mufti 2 weeks ago, spoke to him about polygamy. His first answer was well Hazrat Maulana..... has written in his book that it's better to stick to one wife because of the troubles and problems created when you get a second wife. So in short, sab se pehlay pakistan. I should live in peace, everyone else should go to hell.. I shouuldnt care about the women who are widowed, divorced in a young age and can't find any husbands.. I should worry only about my one and only wife.... etc etc

In the end ill qoute a hadith of Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas رضي الله عنه for those who believe that sayings of Sahaba hold more value than sayings of the sheikh:

عن سعيد بن جبير قال: قال لي ابن عباس: هل تزوجت قلت لا، قال فتزوج فإن خير هذه الأمة أكثرها نساء

صحيح البخاري

Hazrat Ibn e Abbas رضي الله عنه asked Saeed bin Jubair rh, are you marrieD? he said no, He said, go and marry because the best of this ummat is the one who has the most wives.....

Muhadditheen say that it can mean two things:

1. If two people are equal in all other things then the better one will be the one who has more wives.
2. That the best of this Ummah - Rasool Allah صلي الله عليه وسلم- had the most wives...

Either way, it encourages us to get more wives....

And there are many more hadith....

Some other time...

For me it’s a very simple issue, if my Nabi (saw) and Sahaba (ra) did any action then there can be no other way that is superior to their way in this world. Full stop

If I don’t want to do any sunnah action Allah will not ask me why didn’t you do this, but I have no right to find fault with the sunnah or say anything against it.

At the same time if someone does not act on any sunnah, no one has the right to question him why don’t you do it. Yes you should advise and encourage but cannot force anyone.

[obegeLype]

@ brother Taliban: Sorry if this sounds offensive... But how comes you're so obsessed with the polygamy issue, that you do not even tolerate other opinions?

[ThisIsOK]

P.S i was to post the following two hours back but was not able to due to an interruption in my interent connection.. I havent read all the comments posted thereafter, so i am just posting my original post (without editing it after considering the comments later)..

My real question is very simple, Why discourage something that Allah has encouraged, Rasool Allah صلي الله عليه وسلم has encouraged, and Sahaba رضي الله عنهم have encouraged?

Firstly, i think its better if we continue looking at ourselves than at others actions : ) Different Ulama and and Mashaa'ikh have different opinions and views (which we call in urdu as Mizaj aur Mazaak). Hence, some might disagree with Hazrat Walaz stance (which may include his son as well); So its not a big issue!

As for Hazrat's viewpoint, i made it clear in my previous post.. Its that he feels that most of the people nowadays face difficulty in coping up even with a single wife, so if they will marry more than that, they will likely be unable to manage more wives properly. Now since the condition of polygamy is that all wives be treated appropriately and equally, which is difficult to achieve these days, hence he generally discpurages the people to look forward for furhter wives.. Hazrat Wala says that the prime sunnat of marrying is fulfilled with a single marriage. So if marrying more than that brings much inconvenience with regards to fulfillment of rights and carrying other activities (e.g. ibadat, work, etc) so its better to abstain from it and suffice with a single wife. Bear in mind that Hadhrat is a great Shaykh and must have seen, heard and read many such cases which made him create such a view.

As for the point of going against the vew of Sahabah etc, then scholars might explain it better. What I think is that It should not be taken as such; since ulama, at times, do discourage people from some particular mubaah (permissible) aur even mustahab (recommended) acts if they feel that they will bring more negatives than benefits (I hope that theres no need to cite examples of such rulings). Wallahu A’lam!

For me, since I have not even married once, hence the question for a second marriage becomes insignificant. Wesay achay rishtay k lyay dua kijyay ga : ). However, if I do get a chance, I will try to further ask somebody, in Khanqah, about the matter. But I cant promise for this..

[Rx-Ultram]

@Taliban

Talaq is completely Legal, But won't you advice against it if it were to do more Bad than Good. Similarly Polygamy if done Ideally and properly its a very good thing. But considering the situation of the people at present maybe one has to think twice before doing 2nd Marriage. The main problem is to treat both the wives equally. I personally think there are very few people who are capable of that. But its always a choice for who can follow it correctly.
Allah knows best.

[slowlexrese]

Assalamualaikum Wr Wbr,

Brother Taliban, i am sure that your intention is pure in asking this question and you want to clear this confusion. However, it has always been the practice of Akaabir to maintain respect of Scholars and Akabir...I am sure you understand

As for your original question and the link that a brother posted, please note that this was taken from a compilation of letters by Hazrat Wala Db sent to his mureeds. Responses to each mureed depend upon his particular condition and the Shaikh is aware of his character and his past illnesses. Therefore the answer mentioned over there is for that particular individual. We need to see things in context and maintain Husn e Dhan with one of the leading Buzurgs of our time.

This is not a general rule for everybody. Prescriptions differ for every patient.

Well brother you couldve directly said that your niyat doesn't seem to be so pure instead of mentioning about my intention at all. It is a question not a confusion. Yes i very well understand about the respect part. It's also not very pertinent here. I didn't disrespect anyone but well it's the trend these days that if you question a sheikh's actions or sayings the mureeds will use this card and start hating the guy. Yes i know alot about this, ive spent alot of time in the khanqah. My house was near khanqah, and i used to come in bayans. One day i came and a khalifah was making bayan in the masjid. I had long hair and i was sitting in front of him. So he started against long hair. He said to shave the head is sunnah and the whole bayan was against hair. Well man it's written very clearly in radd ul mukhtar that to claim that shaving the head is sunnah is bidat. In normal circumstances Rasool Allah sallallahu alaihi wasallam never kept his head shaved. It was only on hajj or umrah. Khair that was my last day there.

As for your saying that the answer hazrat e aqdas db gave was specific to the mureed. I don't see it as very specific. The answer is very general. If it was specific, the answer wouldve been like it's not good for you. If you please read the answer again. I won't say anything regarding to the answer itself otherwise you'll start shouting be-adab be muraad, ba-adab ba muraad....

Sorry for be adbi