[EspanaCamsInfo]

But just think, how much you will get reward from Allah (swt) to get him arrested?

the prophet SAW said he would even slice the hand off of his own daughter if she stole. if the guy is breaking the law he deserves punishment. there is no "reward" for putting up with abusive husbands and to suggest otherwise is harmful to islam and the ummah

[stunnyravytal]

my husband and i visited the egyptian imam of the mosque near by but was not convincing. that is why i joined this forum to seek advice. Alhamdulillah, you are all clearing my views. inshAllah i am seriously intended to go to an Islamic Scholar or Scholars without wasting time because its my loss in either cases. ex wife wants me to get divorced and mother in law is happy both with divorce and me staying to serve her as punishment to rebel her by leaving her and going abroad with my husband.

i could not believe in our ummah people until i experienced it. more surprisingly, the whole family is well educated, well settled and well aware of the islamic laws, but all is vain.. their hearts are dark and they cannot see.
my husband's parents were upset with him and had stopped talking to him saying, "you took your wife with you against our will, now you shall not even see our dead faces". so he might be trying to cash this opportunity to make his parents happy again and clearly told me that he wants to be a good son and nothing is more important than parents here or here after.
but i told him that he should be thankful to me as he is trying to be a good son by using me and would have lost his chance if i was not existing in his life. but he is just so ignorant and says, "why do you think so bad of me, i am not as bad as you think, i care about u and feel that whatever happened is not right. i understand your situation and you should understand mine". his mind and concious seem to be controlled and hence sleeping.

[M_Marked]

Yes, her husband is criminal, he deserves punishment but she can also forgive him if she likes.

Do you think, forgiving someone is harmful to Islam and Ummah?

he's not only harming her, but his ex wife. and she shoudlnt be treated as a slave.

forgiveness is only for those who accept they did wrong and stop doing that wrong. this guy hasnt stopped and nor has his mother so no they dont deserve forgiveness. in islam allah wont forgive you until you give bac the right to the person you wronged. its a condition of tawbah. if someone stole and then apologised, woudl you expect them to give it back or just forgive them?

[fuesquemill]

Get him arrested and be safe before the mother in law gets more barbarian and does something criminal.

[SinyugiN]

I will not post any more because I feel, most of people do not like my reasoning so now I will conclude myself.

For this sister, there are two solutions.

1 - Patience
2 - Divorce

Patience is the key to every success, Allah (swt) praises it so much.

Divorce is something disliked by Allah (swt) but anyway allowed.

According to the following verse, Allah (swt) says, repel evil with good and your enemy might become your dearest friend but only very lucky and fortunate people can achieve this rank.

Reference:

And the good and the evil are not equal; repel with that which is the fairest, and the one between whom and thee is enmity shall be as if he were a bosom friend.

But none is given it except those who are patient, and none is given it except one having big fortune.

Quran 41:34-35

[Patabeamn]

he's not only harming her, but his ex wife. and she shoudlnt be treated as a slave.

forgiveness is only for those who accept they did wrong and stop doing that wrong. this guy hasnt stopped and nor has his mother so no they dont deserve forgiveness. in islam allah wont forgive you until you give bac the right to the person you wronged. its a condition of tawbah. if someone stole and then apologised, woudl you expect them to give it back or just forgive them?

Well, I do not disagree with you. You are right.

But there are people who forgives others even when others do not apologize and admit their mistakes.

Allah (swt) praises such people so much. These people answer evil with their good and Allah (swt) say, Angels descend upon such people and say peace be on you, we are your companions. These things are mentioned in Quran.

So it depends on the person's caliber actually.

[romalama]

i need sincere opinion n suggestion regarding this matter explained:

" i am second wife to my husband. i got married on condition if he has divorced first wife, if not, then its her right to be with him, so he should go and re-conciliate with her, but my husband said, no, its over between him and his ist wife. i asked about divorce paper for confirmation and he made a fake divorce paper with false name and said, she is divorced.

later i used to see some signs of her existence in his life in my dreams, so i started asking questions and inquired, he would daily get her calls and finally came to know that she was not divorced. but my husband said, he will neither divorce her nor will take her back as punishment and i should not worry.
but my mother in law who does not want me to live with my husband as he lives abroad and wants me to work for her and serve her, when my husband arranger my visa and took me along so my mother in law said to me, you have challenged me, now i will give you damage that you never imagined in ur life and said she would call her son, i.e. my husband's ist wife back to her son's life, and will send her abroad to live with my husband and would bring me back to serve and work for her.
therefore, my husband did exactly the same. he is going to his country with me, will leave me there, bring the ist ex- wife back to live with him.
please guide me. i am very much confused and scared. my mother in law can do anything with me, anything out of islam, my husband forces me to live with her while she has already thrown her elder brother's wife out because she also wanted to live with husband.

my husband and his family cheated me, lied to me and my family, and deceived me in the most possible way. i feel that i have been used by him and his family for their own gain and he is obedient in doing anything his parents say saying that he cannot leave his family for me but also love me.
but i think everything is fake about him and his family. my husband forces me to accept his ex-wife mentioning islam allowed 4 wives. but i say, i have been deceived. i never wanted to be in polygamy marriage, thats why i had asked for divorce confirmation, he lied for it with no intention of geting her back ever, and now he wants her back saying he doesnt like her and he never intended to get her back in life but he is helpless because of his parents. and the ex wife herself never wanted to come back either until she came to know about me.
so i am vs. my husband, his ex and his family. guide me in light of islam where does my husband, his family, his ex and i stand? AS ssooon as possible please.

Allahu musta'aan sister, what a terrible mess muslims are in today. may Allah make things easy for you. when will muslims practice islam properly.

Dont become a slave to your mother in law and dont let your husband punish his wife, this is not from islam. either he stays married to her and fulfills his duties to her and provides for her, or he divorces her. he cant do what he's doing. what country are you from? do you have an islamic court system that will judge by shariah?

[enactolaelant]

Jazakumullah every one who cared enough to read and replied. it may enable me to decide in a better way when i go back home.
currently, i am residing in south africa but my husband has confirmed his and my ticket to Isb/Pakistan on 27th ramadan. but so far i am just putting my faith in HIM because HE is the only One who can do anything for me. i cannot fight the evil that has dwelled inside the hearts of such humans that i am confused to call a family.
my mother in law keeps on telling my husband that islam allows 4 marriages and he must keep both me and his ex. so even if i question or argue or discuss this matter with my husband, he simply says that he knows what he is doing, he is only trying to meet his duties in best possible and justified manner because justice is important and that i should only focus on what islam says about polygamy to women... but in all this scenerio, i just keep wondering why his ex had to leave him if she wanted to come back and why my husband married me if he and his mother never wanted to leave the ex.
i was happy with my life, with my job, with my family and friends with a belief that if i do the right thing, nothing wrong can be done to me either but thats no the case always. this one year of my marriage has changed my whole perspective but what i have lost the most is trust in human beings.. when they become evil, they are ahead of satan.
may Allah protect us all here and here after.
P.S. i will get back to you when my Allah decides something for me until then please pray for me.
ma`assalam

[Roferurse]

Try to find an alim to advise you. Though they lied to you and committed fraud...if you have no family support of your own you might be better off staying with him as a second wife. However such fraudulent people cannot be trusted and if you have somewhere else to go, you should take the opportunity.

this husband of hers lied to her right from the very beginning, she is being used and abused and bullied by her mother in law, it has been made clear to her that she is only in this marriage to be used by her mother in law......what kind of life is that???

she made it clear to her husband that she would only marry him if he divorced his first wife. he then went and deceived her to marry her on a lie. if it was not for this deception then she would not have married him in the first place!

how many of us would have tolerated this if this had happened to our own sisters or daughters? only the cowards without any sense of honour would have tolerated this.

she needs to get this marriage annulled and then she needs help from her fellow muslims to find a good, Allah fearing person to get married to.

[Z1IRo4Ap]

This is a very sad situation and seems to me that the husband planned to get a servant for his mother when he takes his first wife abroad. I doubt if the marriage is even valid if he lied about the divorce. Sister, If you go with this guy to Pakistan then I'm afraid you will be stuck there for the rest of your life living as a miserable slave while your husband enjoys life with his first wife. How can he possibly fulfill his duty if he is in another country? My opinion is that to live with a mother in law who is intent on teaching you a lesson is beyond stupidity. What will you gain from it?

The best option is to get rid of this guy and his idiotic family ASAP. It's better to live alone than as a slave to someone else.

[erubresen]

Get him arrested.

[TritteTouff]

Get him arrested.

Well, you can get him arrested too as warea says,

But just think, how much you will get reward from Allah (swt) to get him arrested?

Joseph (as) could even kill his evil brothers if he wanted, but then Joseph (as) would get nothing from Allah (swt).

Prophet (sws) forgave his enemies on the conquest of Makkah and said. Today I forgive you just like Joseph (as) forgave his brothers.

Also, why Allah (swt) narrated the story of Joseph (as) and His brothers. This is a lesson for all believers.

Joseph (as) had to wait many years though to reach this great rank in character and personality. So following Joseph (as) or Prophet (sws) path is very difficult, but again the ranks will also be very great in Hereafter.

So, whatever you will decide, decide with respect to Hereafter gains not this Worldly gains, because your worldly life is just a blink of eye.

[robinthesearchmasterh]

the prophet SAW said he would even slice the hand off of his own daughter if she stole. if the guy is breaking the law he deserves punishment. there is no "reward" for putting up with abusive husbands and to suggest otherwise is harmful to islam and the ummah

Yes, her husband is criminal, he deserves punishment but she can also forgive him if she likes.

Do you think, forgiving someone is harmful to Islam and Ummah?

[timgillmoreeztf]

i need sincere opinion n suggestion regarding this matter explained:

" i am second wife to my husband. i got married on condition if he has divorced first wife, if not, then its her right to be with him, so he should go and re-conciliate with her, but my husband said, no, its over between him and his ist wife. i asked about divorce paper for confirmation and he made a fake divorce paper with false name and said, she is divorced.

later i used to see some signs of her existence in his life in my dreams, so i started asking questions and inquired, he would daily get her calls and finally came to know that she was not divorced. but my husband said, he will neither divorce her nor will take her back as punishment and i should not worry.
but my mother in law who does not want me to live with my husband as he lives abroad and wants me to work for her and serve her, when my husband arranger my visa and took me along so my mother in law said to me, you have challenged me, now i will give you damage that you never imagined in ur life and said she would call her son, i.e. my husband's ist wife back to her son's life, and will send her abroad to live with my husband and would bring me back to serve and work for her.
therefore, my husband did exactly the same. he is going to his country with me, will leave me there, bring the ist ex- wife back to live with him.
please guide me. i am very much confused and scared. my mother in law can do anything with me, anything out of islam, my husband forces me to live with her while she has already thrown her elder brother's wife out because she also wanted to live with husband.

my husband and his family cheated me, lied to me and my family, and deceived me in the most possible way. i feel that i have been used by him and his family for their own gain and he is obedient in doing anything his parents say saying that he cannot leave his family for me but also love me.
but i think everything is fake about him and his family. my husband forces me to accept his ex-wife mentioning islam allowed 4 wives. but i say, i have been deceived. i never wanted to be in polygamy marriage, thats why i had asked for divorce confirmation, he lied for it with no intention of geting her back ever, and now he wants her back saying he doesnt like her and he never intended to get her back in life but he is helpless because of his parents. and the ex wife herself never wanted to come back either until she came to know about me.
so i am vs. my husband, his ex and his family. guide me in light of islam where does my husband, his family, his ex and i stand? AS ssooon as possible please.

[Gcromqgb]

Get him arrested and be safe before the mother in law gets more barbarian and does something criminal.

Yes, you can do this, I have no problem, you can go for it.

But it looks to me like USA attacking Iraq assuming the Iraq has Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Actually, Satan puts a fear of unknown in us and we get fearful and then we do such things like before a dog bites me, I should bite a dog. Before Iraq attacks on USA, USA should attack Iraq.

Allah (swt) says, Satan will definitely create a fear of the unknown things in you and prepare you to do immoral things.

Please read the following verse, Satan will ask you that you will have a miserable life but Allah (swt) calls you toward His bounty.

Satan threatens you with miserable life and orders you to immorality, while Allah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

Quran 2:268

[Beriilosal]

if you know that going to your mother in law's house would harm you, then you shouldn't go there. Consult scholars on the best course of actions. And if it's best for both of you to get a divorce to protect your eeman, then don't hesitate it. It's better to be single than to have a husband who is not trustworthy, neglects your well being and neglects eeman.

Allah Knows Best.

[Kamepherype]

Yes I agree, but it depends on her situation...if she has local support from family or if she has somewhere to go for help.


We have only heard one side of the story and we do not know exactly what the people being talked about are like.

this husband of hers lied to her right from the very beginning, she is being used and abused and bullied by her mother in law, it has been made clear to her that she is only in this marriage to be used by her mother in law......what kind of life is that???

she made it clear to her husband that she would only marry him if he divorced his first wife. he then went and deceived her to marry her on a lie. if it was not for this deception then she would not have married him in the first place!

how many of us would have tolerated this if this had happened to our own sisters or daughters? only the cowards without any sense of honour would have tolerated this.

she needs to get this marriage annulled and then she needs help from her fellow muslims to find a good, Allah fearing person to get married to.

[avitalporatova]

Try to find an alim to advise you. Though they lied to you and committed fraud...if you have no family support of your own you might be better off staying with him as a second wife. However such fraudulent people cannot be trusted and if you have somewhere else to go, you should take the opportunity.

[Dogxzysl]

Seriously I wont recommend you to take decision on your own and go with it. Please contact some senior ulema and seek their help. This is not a simple matter from the way you described in the first post. I just cant believe people can be this horrible. Only Allah SWT can guide this ummah.
Allahu alam

[uchetrip]

Its not a doubtful fear brother. In South Asia, violence of mother in law is a reality and even hereditary. Based on that commonality of such problems (just as in the case of devilish acid attacks against women), greater precaution should be take when something like this level of threatening is come to be seen by a husband or mother in law.