[Doctorpills]

This is good, I always get people in my life telling me I am being too soft and I should be more harsh with others if I just let them say and do what they like to me then I will lose out etc...and I am glad I do not listen to them.

Walikum Salam,

I will not comment on Sister's issue, may Allah (swt) help her get out of her problems. Ameen.

You logic is good too but I will defend myself as that

No one wishes to be ill-treated. But when some calamity comes from Allah (swt), then we should show patience.

For example, Joseph (as) did not want to be ill-treated, he was innocent, he did nothing wrong to King's wife and King's wife accused him of having evil intentions and Joseph (as) told King that it was his wife having such intentions and one person also witnessed that Joseph (as) is innocent and King's wife is actually evil but even they they jailed Joseph (as) and he had to live inside jail for many years.

Conclusion

Try your best to save yourself from any misfortune or calamity, but if misfortune or calamity comes, then show patience and trust in Allah (swt).

My own life experience

I have been mistreated by many people, I started taking revenge and whenever I took revenge from people, I found, either I have revenged less than they deserve or I have revenged more then they deserve, so I started feeling uncomfortable, I thought, instead of taking revenge, I should leave my matters to Allah (swt). If someone has mistreated me actually, then Allah (swt) will take my revenge and compensate me and if I just have a feeling that I have been mistreated and actually not, then I will be safe from having a sin of taking unjust revenge.

Even, when I take revenge, I find my problems increased more than theirs.

But when I adopted this approach of not taking revenge from others for being mistreated, I found, Allah (swt) blessed me with lot of blessings which I could never get by myself. And I found those people who have mistreated me fell in their own pits which they dug for me.

So that's why, I say, Allah (swt) is the best Al-Muntaqim (Avenger)