[MattJargin]

Brothers and sisters in Islam

I have now read several threads regarding how some are struggling to enjoy their marriages and communication difficulties with their spouses.
I know very little about arranged marriages, nikah etc but would like to offer advice regarding my own experience. If a couple are starting married life together and know very little about each other it can be daunting for both parties. However it is also one of the most special, exciting times as you look forward to spending the rest of your lives together.

If you are finding it difficult to talk about private things with your spouse, like what you like and don’t like etc then I found that one of the best ways to communicate was by writing to each other and reading each others letters. You will be surprised how much you can learn about each other through letters. It may sound a little silly when you are living in the same house however you can express your true feelings on paper to start with. You will be surprised how much you come to know each other this way. You can write to each other once a week , include all your hopes and dreams, worries and concerns. It is much more difficult for a man to express himself and have an emotional connection with a woman than vice versa. He first must get to know everything about his wife and her personality in order to have an emotional, deep connection with her. This takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. You must persevere together with kindness, respect, modesty and compassion for each other. Never give up trying or hope, even the most incompatible couples at the onset of marriage can learn to have a loving partnership together. Communication is key! And finding a handwritten letter around the house from your spouse is also fun. Try it and see and remember that Allah (swt) is guiding you on your journey together.

[DoctorWeryDolt]

hand written letters and notes are also nice...one can say things in their notes that they wish to say and hide them in a place where you are sure your spouse is bound to find them e.g his briefcase, her dressing table, his gym stuff, her bathroom accessories (some women like to keep their shampoos, face washes etc in one place). simple notes with things written on them your spouse might like or enjoy.

[Afigenatjola]

Nice idea... just make sure it is addressed to your spouse or the spouse knows there are love letters hidden in places around the house that they are supposed to find.

[ådrrraj]

And when that couple will have children and attractions will disappear, they will be ashamed of this silly practice.

I saw my mom burning letters which she and my dad wrote to each other after being married.

[styhorporry]

hand written letters and notes are also nice...one can say things in their notes that they wish to say and hide them in a place where you are sure your spouse is bound to find them e.g his briefcase, her dressing table, his gym stuff, her bathroom accessories (some women like to keep their shampoos, face washes etc in one place). simple notes with things written on them your spouse might like or enjoy.

Ahan... Quite romantic mh bhai! : )

[flower-buy]

And when that couple will have children and attractions will disappear, they will be ashamed of this silly practice.

I saw my mom burning letters which she and my dad wrote to each other after being married.

Why should attraction to each other disappear after children, unless it was never there in the first place. I've still got letters my husband gave to me when I married and now we are blessed with three beautiful sons. What is there to be ashamed of unless you have something to hide?

[freflellalafe]

Nice idea... just make sure it is addressed to your spouse or the spouse knows there are love letters hidden in places around the house that they are supposed to find.

I shudder to think what might happen IF the wife begins casting doubts over who they are addressed to...

What about Sms's ?

[oemcheapdownload]

Or the husband finds the wife's note - not knowing it is addressed to him. A good intention could easily lead to something unpleasant. I had a chuckle too but really, it could happen so best to consider the possibility ahead of time.

[hs6KnlcW]

Just make sure your spouses' name is clearly written on them.

Writing letters is just a lovely idea. Sms are okay too but letters is better! Also small notes left here n there i.e. wife can leave a i love you note in her hubbys coat pocket or lunch box if he takes lunch from home. He can do the same

Unexpected surprises are the best!

[Enfonebew]

I know someone who allowed his wife to read his mobile phone. He did not have anything to hide. One day some female left a voice mail saying she liked him and wanted to see him again (without taking his name). She did not leave a phone number. The man just thought it was a wrong number...his wife did not. Now they are divorced. The ex wife thought he was having an affair and she got revenge on him by having a relationship with someone else. Someone may have put the voice mail on the phone to break the marriage.

[jackie Obrian]

I know someone who allowed his wife to read his mobile phone. He did not have anything to hide. One day some female left a voice mail saying she liked him and wanted to see him again (without taking his name). She did not leave a phone number. The man just thought it was a wrong number...his wife did not. Now they are divorced. The ex wife thought he was having an affair and she got revenge on him by having a relationship with someone else. Someone may have put the voice mail on the phone to break the marriage.

thanks for that abu zakir : p

you forgot to add the chinese mafia in the story : (-(-(-(-_-)-)-)-)