[detskpit]

Sometimes after you hear what comes out of a parent's mouth, it's hard to believe you're related. Crazythingsparentssay.com has the proof:

"You shouldn't be eating candy so early. We have doughnuts."

"The key is to put the mousetrap outside the house. That way, the mice don't come in." "Your aunt couldn't make it, so I brought the cat."

"Don't do drugs. They're hell on your body, and I may need one of your organs someday."

[zdlupikkkdi]

Mom: "Why do I smell oranges…? AM I HAVING A STROKE?!"


Mom: "Text your friend. You need to explain to her that our car smells like pizza so she doesn't think we farted the whole time to her house."


Me: "Hey Mom, I found the bus."
Mom: "Are you on it or did you get hit by it?"

[zdlupikkkdi]

Me: I get to do the flour project!
Dad: What's that?
Me: It's when you carry around a flour sack, pretending it's a baby! I'm gonna name mine Li'l Cupcake, cause that's what he's gonna be when he grows up!
Dad: No! He's going to college! He's going to be a cake!

[zdlupikkkdi]

Mom expressing worry about Dad going on a cycling trip on his own...

Me: But you had no problem with me going to South America on my own, and I'm 18.
Mom: Yes, but you're smart, your father is an idiot.