[Bridgester]

Bonnie McFarlane: Cop Sunglasses


I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses. The whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was 'I should cut my bangs.'


Mike Birbiglia: Fear the Most


I was living with a girl for a while. We worried about different things. One day, I was like, 'What do you fear the most?' And she was like, 'I fear you'll meet someone else, and you'll leave me, and I'll be all alone.' And she was like, 'What do you fear the most?' And I was like, 'Bears.'



Geoff Keith: Teaching My Girlfriend About Hanukkah


I am Jewish; my girlfriend's not. She did buy me eight presents for Hanukkah, though. I was like, 'Why did you buy me eight presents for Hanukkah?' She's like, 'Eight presents, for the eight nights of Hanukkah.' I was like, 'You idiot, there's 32 nights of Hanukkah -- and I like electronics. Now, go to the mall. Religious minimum: $50 a gift.'