[immoceefe]

So I am working on a song, and would LOVE some feedback on the lyrics. They are not finished and I am open to any and all suggestions. Also, if you would be so kind, tell me what you think the song is about.

Thanks everyone!

Song: Dreamland

#VERSE1#

Lay down your life
A silver circle and shes your bride
Although I trust her with my life
The dreams they haunt me inside...tonight
Such little time and little time again
Please hold my hand tight till my end...


#CHORUS1#

When your sitting in a dream
So far and lonely came with me
Blue drapes, they line the walls
Not holding hands, I'm on my own
How did this all go so wrong
Your warm breath wrote this haunted song


#VERSE2#

Wake up in a sweat in bed
She holds you close in wake up land
I know that this is not a show
So why do dreams just haunt me SO!!!??
My life lives for her
But when I sleep there's so much hurt!!!!!


#Bridge1#

GET A GRIP! YOUR WIDE AWAKE NOW!
There's no more hurt, and no damn breakdown
I look at her, know she wont hurt me
I'm a dumb boy, I know she loves me



#CHORUS2#

When your sitting in a dream
So far and lonely came with me
Blue drapes, they line the walls
We're holding hands, not on my own
I walk into the dark night
Yet now there is no fright
She's here holding on tight
I guess she is my burning light