[BreeveKambmak]

This is resonating with me BIG TIME.

Once you have eaten of the flesh, so to speak, you must
ride it out completely.

Of course everyone’s journey is different, but if you give
yourself away to life, things cannot avoid falling implausibly
into place around you, and an existence you never thought
possible eventually swells instinctively up from within, and
devours you whole.

It’s all so subtle, unexpected, absurd, and indisputable,
that when an epoch ends- when the drama of ‘being’ comes to
one of its cyclic, fabulous crescendos- and the spirit fully
emerges, the whole holocaust and rapture of life dissolves back
into itself, into you, and you into it, the two sides blend into one,
the universe is fulfilled for an instant, time evaporates, distance
vanishes, the light mingles and ...we are gone.

I am speaking of nexus points, unifications, grand
synchronicities, and convergences in the hidden patterns of the
cosmos, from which sublime realities become conspicuously
manifest in the lives of persons chosen or willing to act out the
universe’s karmic evolution; momentary windows of a deeper
vision, leaps of understanding, and etheric mutations in the
blueprint of our chimerical beings, such that there are profound
times and places in the somnambulistic imagination of the great
and dancing Imaginer, when the veil of causality lifts blatantly
away to reveal its eternal marriage with effect, the continuum
becomes apparent, the Creator finally awakens within and as the
Creation, and yet still no one, not even the Maker, can
understand how the marvelous making is made.

It is all very strange, obscure and ineffable, as it were.
But to be sure- it happens. Every now and then, due, as it were,
to the course of our forgotten, sublime affinities, a cohesion of
disparate forces fuse into One, life takes on mythical
proportions, the Gods awaken from their slumber, the devil gets
his due, and the lone individual, bent awkwardly upon the
fulfillment of his or her impossible and unavoidable destiny,
breaks loose from the world’s hold, resuscitates the old breath,
finds the living Life, curses the anguish, weeps for the children,
drinks, dances, goes mad with love, and then vanishes into the
sky with all those brave or free enough to follow.

Let me tell you, it happens. Rarely, perhaps very rarely,
but by god it comes about. And when it does, the Heavens float
down like a warm deluge through the frost of Hell, the veneer of
our horrid separation lifts for a blessed instant, the I in each one
of us untangles itself, and all those ready, strong, innocent, or
bored enough, slip quietly away, out into the gentle flow,
merging with eternity, and then drifting off into God without
going anywhere; they simply float away without leaving; they
stand still and fall apart into everything. That is what happens.
But perhaps I am starting off here too fast. Let me sum it
all up, so as to be done with the story, and then we can get on
with the meat of this text. It goes like this: when you are born
you are not yet born- first you must descend, die, rise from the
ashes, forget every idea of right and wrong, lose yourself
completely, gain yourself again, and become the All. There you
have it, in brief synoptic fashion. What follows are merely the
details.

I can’t say precisely when understandings such as these
began to smolder within me. It was sometime in my mid
twenties, after I had begun to awaken to the folly and immaturity
of mankind’s ways; after I had finally broken free from the
futility and indoctrination of the whole education fiasco; after the
collapse of a corrupt business I had owned and operated with one
of the devil’s own minions; after I had traveled aimlessly in the
world for a while, had become disillusioned and confused from
the apparent meaninglessness of it all, and had moved away from
Ontario, where I was raised, heading west, penniless,
possessionless, notionless, and finally free to begin again on my
own, to forget all that I had learned, experienced, and lost, and to
start again from square one.

I needed a new beginning, a complete change, a
resurrection.

Indeed there is little in life of more value to the
transformation of the self than to one day uproot your whole
existence, cut away the gnarled mass that has grown in and
around you, scythe the wheat that has grown from your soil, and
take up the rhizome of your soul, away from its homeland, away
from all it has known of sunlight and season, away from the
forces which watered and fed it and pruned it along, and go to
another place, find another patch of earth, and then lay down
your tuber in the mud and watch it blossom and grow.
To change dramatic sets is to change roles. New buds
grow on old branches, but it is a different fruit which comes
forth. The old skin of identity molts away, and the nouvelle
vintage is poured within.

I understand now why so many ancient epics are filled
with tales of exile, exploration, destiny, and destination, because
the inevitable tests and trials which beset a person’s existence are
quickened when the flow of life bursts through the encumbering
form, and the individual breaks away from their old and worn
out norm.

Had Odysseus never left Ithaca, Homer would have been
forced to write cookbooks. Had Moses not walked out of Egypt
and wandered forty years in the desert, the reign of Babylon
would never have been broken. Had Lao Tzu not turned away
from his homeland in disgust and scorn, the gatekeeper would
never have heard his wisdom, and the Tao would never have
been born.

It is the breaking away from the confines of context
which first liberate the spirit into the subtle life, where all that
shifts and moves is hidden from all that stands still.
When I took up my tunic and sack, and walked into the
sunset without any idea of what lay ahead, I had, without
realizing it, joined in with the great dance of creation, and I was
now creating what lay ahead of me. From a pdf of In and Of Jack Haas sent to me by Hyperobjects/David Haddad.

If anyone wants a copy emailed, let me know. It's lovely writing.

[anfuckinggs]

Beautiful. Very much worth sharing.