[doksSirmAdods]

*takes a deep breath* LOL

Ok I did understand and I'm trying to figure out the best way to help you out.

It took me a while at that crossroad. I had my mom telling me about God and Jesus, and I was reading about Wicca and yes witches as well. One fit me, felt like I belonged, but yet I was also torn with "going to hell" "damnation" etc.

I looked to my guides. No answers. I was just as you are today. Lost.

Then, one night I had a dream. In it, my deceased grandmother came to me and said, "There is not one true religion, follow your heart." I woke up with a start. And she was DEVOUT CATHOLIC! So I knew then.... as long as I believe that something created me and that I was not alone in the world, I would go into the afterlife, aka summerlands.

So. hon.. Follow your heart

[interbaoui]

it is a form of yoga....can be done anytime one is ready

[pharmaclid]

Wow, this is pretty deep. I was also slated to die. except that I was destined to become the vessel for a prime evil walking the world in the flesh... So not death so much as transformed... its complicated.

But, for a long time, I thought that I was dead. All the underworld was preparing me to lead them, teaching me all of the thousands of things. I learned of each of the sins, and how to recognize them on the humans. They taught me to see which demons were traveling in who, and how to communicate with them using code and telepathy. I saw the history of the world through the eyes of thousands of people, and I saw parts of the future as well. I saw the cycles.

I felt the primal rage of oppression, and the desire to revolt against it. I was told that this was not the first time this had happened, that every time someone was sent, we were either killed, or chosen by the humans to lead the humans. Hitler had been one of these, as was Jim Jones, and countless other people. Many others are sent to hide in plain site, to be instruments of freedom, and to fight against the unrighteous.

But what disturbed me most was that I did not have freewill in what I saw. Every time, I refused them, all the while traveling deeper and deeper into hell. Eventually, I got to the bottom. I remember that feeling. That was worse then everything I had experienced before it. I was channeling Belial, complete desolation.

At this point, I didn't need to speak aloud in order to communicate, it was all in the eyes. I had piercing eyes, that saw through things, and into souls. When I opened them, the underworld shook with fear.

My previous tormentors were actually afraid at this point. There was no where for me to go except up. There was dead silence as I began my long and arduous accent up.

The time I spent in hell numbered 100 years.

While I was down there, I had countless visions of the coming of Christ, whether it be the first or the second. I perceived a white streak on the solid black of hell, and the white streak was growing!

My twisted soul knew that there was another way, and my tormentors hated this fact. During my accent, I perceived the body of Christ, and in my hand I held a cup. I let the blood drip from the body until the cup was full. Then, I made the choice that wasn't really a choice at all. I drank from the cup of Christ's blood until it was empty.

When I returned to the land of the living, all I had was religion. Everything I knew was a lie. So disillusioned, I abandoned all notions of what is real and unreal, and I prayed every day and every night, I was so distraught that I barely even left my bed. Legions of demon were sent to me, to try to possess me, but I refused them with every fiber of my being.

I prayed for months on end, until I was miraculously healed. The only problem was that I was tired, depressed, and I knew that the world that I happen to reside in at this particular moment is merely a construct of my own perception! How can I convince other people that they are living an illusion? Why even bother? You think that's air you're breathing, or computer monitor that you are looking into? It's all energy!

I received the Light about a year after I returned to earth and rested. I asked God again and again why He had forsaken me, and allowed me to be taken down there, and even to this day I struggle with the answer He gave me. "You have died to this world, and have been reborn from above."

I am frustrated that people never listen, but sometimes I say things anyway, like now for example. Perhaps someone may listen, and learn from me. But for the most part, one must perceive in order to believe, and this is only right I suppose. But how can I help others to perceive the Truth, without them having to go through what I went through? Perhaps this is why God shields the eyes of all but a few of His chosen.

Grudgingly, I admit, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. Perhaps tomorrow, or the next day, or a year from now I will be enlightened. If not for my experiences, could this have been possible?

[Lolita Palmer]

LOL Pagan Medium. Yes, I came to that conclusion too. It will be most definently a very personal pathway that I take. I guess mine could never really resemble someone else's description. Take care.

And Dark Sun; (Long Pause)

You're not the only one that I heard a story like that from. It resembles closely that of a once very very very very close friend of mine.....................


I think I'll send ya a pm.

[Lolita Palmer]

Since I first posted this thread until now, I've slowly been arriving to different theory's and thoughts as we all do when it comes to our own spirituality. Some of it has resognated with the "witch" no witch issue and others have been about completely other subjects.

I'M GOING TO CONTINUE POSTING ON THIS THREAD AS MY UNDERSTANDING CHANGES SO WITH THAT BEING SAID; THERE MAY BE MANY DIFFERENT THOUGHTS OR OPINIONS ADDED AND MAY NOONE TAKE ANY OFFENCE AS THIS IS JUST ONE OF OUR PATHS TO UNDERSTANDING.

Some of you may have noticed in the beginning of the thread, I briefly stated that I felt like to call myself a "witch" could actually be limiting myself. I do not like titles. Through meditation, I have received the feeling that I must release all prior beliefs and strongholds, even those pertaining to my days as a witch. I've felt like there is something beyond even that. To title ourselves may possibly limit ourselves to what we are really capable of. Of course, with this being said, one witch always differs from the next so I'm not saying that being a witch would limit one's ability to grow as a spiritual being.

I received a private message from one our members on here concerning this thread. In order to maintain privacy, I have only copied his/her thought and added it on here because I found it to be quite beneficial and imho adds continued depth to this search.

He/She said, "I read all the post on your experience and I would like to propose another viewpoint. Yes, it is true that you were most likely involved in "magic" in another life as your reaction to the talisman is strong but is upsetting your balance. You are intuitive as you wonder why you are not openly comfortable with it. Perhaps it is time that you put the games aside and actually become a higher spirit.

I know that this would upset some and I have no issue with Wicca as this is a part of the voyage but just a part. It separates a person from the average day and makes intention become very deliberate. Then a High Witch learns that it is natural, they do not even notice that the rest of the world is not particpating in their awareness of the ability to be able to access highter forms of awareness.

But then there comes the time when your soul moves forward and understands that the ability is not tied to anything material or any "practice" but is just a natural process that has been there all the time but that we fail to actualize it.

I really feel that all you need to do is to accept the awareness and that there is no spiritual practice or religion that is "required" but it is only the way that we are truly created to be"


Interesting No? K.... Off to start my day. I got a new job!

[Lolita Palmer]

Hello again everyone. It has been a long time since I have been an active member and I have had way to much fun browsing and commenting in this forum today. Loved it! But now I got to spill the beans on something and I need some help figuring a little issue out.

First you'll need some background. Since I was a child, I felt very different, I had natural instincts, I performed things like moving objects, causing someone to trip, ect without being tought, I saw spirits and ghosts, I was highly empathic and the list goes on. Many inquired as to if I was a witch and to their I would respond, "No." I was raised Christian, you see. How could I be, right? (don't answer that) Anyway, due to cir***stances surrounding the past couple years, I went through a period where I was completely shut down. When I say shut down, I mean my gifts were completely gone! I was horribly upset. Mind you there is a huge story behind this and maybe I'll save it for a post one day as it entails massive universal lessons but I am now on my re-ascent and have been experiencing my re-awakening daily on a very different intense level.

Because I got completely stripped down to absolutely nothing, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, you can only imagine the new lessons I've learned and the new levels of understanding I am ariving upon daily. I am at the very beginning once again mind you.

One of my inner arguments with myself revolved around the issue of me being a so called natural witch. Now really, i don't care if I am or if I am not and thats not my question. I came to the conclusion outloud with God the other day that seeing as I have issues with organized religion and the history of it's manipulation and seeing as I have natural abilities and memories of past lives and blah blah blah of being a 'witch'............. i really needed to stop being so hard on myself and just accept myself for who I was. If I was a "natural" witch, so be it. Now, I haven't come to that conclusion especially as I see titles as a human way of restricting ourselves. Wether you call me a witch or not, I will just call myself me.

OKAY................ getting to the point. I finally picked up a pentacle the other day. As my research on religion, celtic and pagan paths has been somewhat extensive (at least to me), I researched the history of the pentacle. I had been searching for a symbol that represented me and what I stood for. The pentacle represents the 5 elements, God/All that is at the top, air, water, earth and fire. The circle represents sacred space.

http://www.controverscial.com/Pentag...20Pentacle.htm

I was shocked!

It's all I've always represented. It represented the main reason I had such a weird time at church because I wanted to know more. I wanted to learn. I yearned to know what Christ had really created. The christian church even used this symbol in the beginning as did multitudes of other religions.....

When I bought the necklace, I followed my intuition as to which one to pick.

I placed it around my neck in the parking lot and I kid you not, A HUGE energy rush waved upon me, down through my stomach, around my whole body; my energy level raised up through the crown. I was immediately high..

............................It weirded me out.

It did not feel bad by any means. On the contrary it was beautiful.

1st question: Is it normal to have such a reaction to this item?? What does that mean?

2nd question/issue: I can't keep it on. Maybe it is because I have issues imbredded upon me from my churchgoing child hood. When I want to wear it out, I step out the door, then back inside, I hold onto it and fight with myself If I should. An object causing this much contreversy within myself warrants some attention. I have a beautiful reaction and connection to the pentacle itself and the meaning behind the pentacle yet another part of me feels wrong for wearing it or that I am restricting myself in some way.

This 2nd issue troubles me terribly

Can someone shed some light on this issue? I am in a huge process of truly learning who I am. Before I was learning about the other realms and was practicing more than facing my internal questions about who I was and what I identified with. I was running from the basics and jumping into the actions. I did this all by myself but this time around; my higher up is taking me a totally different direction and I need just a little feed back on my reactions to this object and how to deal with it.


Thank you.

[interbaoui]

did you buy this new or used??????? like in a second hand store?????

try cleansing it and then blessing it before you wear it again and see if it changes the feel of it .....

[DoroKickcrofe]

Yes I agree with Sophia,

Brought second hand or new, I agree it should be cleansed and blessed... I have found this out myself, and whenever I buy something I cleanse and bless it before use.... As I'm prone to different energy levels...

Peace and Blessings


ps/
Oh and thank you, for sharing with us and nice to see you back....

[Lolita Palmer]

Pardon me, I forgot to mention that part. I cleanse and bless any part of jewelry I place upon me; as do I crystals as well. Heck, I do that without thinking about it if I borrow a piece of clothing. lol.

So yes, it was cleansed completely and the energy reaction is still very present. I'm thinking it may be the fact that I'm drawn so highly to what it represents. Neverless, I found it odd. When my mother placed it around her neck, she too felt an energy surge but it didn't last as mine does. She just felt it upon her solar plexus and up through the crown, then it subsided. She didn't understand it either.

I actually took it to her to get her reaction seeing as she still considers herself to be an organized follower of the christian belief system. Her thoughts were simply that based on what it actually represented (seeing as the church twists the meaning around to mean something totally different), and the feeling she got from it, she found it to be a truly blessed peace and left it to my reasoning.

Since this peace has such a large impact on my thoughts right now and my actions concerning wearing it, i've decided it simply seems not to be the right time in my path to wear it until I figure it out. I'm following God on my spiritual path and hopefully I'll find the answer to it but I was hoping I could get some input here.

Thanks ladies.

[interbaoui]

another thought on this is it is not just a pentagram that represents wiccan energy.

a five pointed star is also the symbol for femenine energy.

so lets reach a little and look at the possibility that maybe you have been using more of your male sided energy and the pentagram when you placed it on your body empowerd some of your femenine energies. thus being a strong energy you would feel.
couple that what the symbolism that you hold with the pentagram anyway.... and you get a double dose of feelings from it .

If you have been using more male energy which i think is the right side of your body and femenine is the left side of your body you would indeed have a strong reaction . . Most of us are being led to use more of our feminen lately. and to integrate our sides together to find our spirit core.

Okay just thinking out loud and on paper. lol when i see a pentagram my first thought is not wiccan it is the divine femenine.
may not hold any truths for you just throwing it out here so it might prompt more thoughts from others to maybe help you

[Lolita Palmer]

another thought on this is it is not just a pentagram that represents wiccan energy.

a five pointed star is also the symbol for femenine energy.

so lets reach a little and look at the possibility that maybe you have been using more of your male sided energy and the pentagram when you placed it on your body empowerd some of your femenine energies. thus being a strong energy you would feel.
couple that what the symbolism that you hold with the pentagram anyway.... and you get a double dose of feelings from it .

Ah ha. Now you might really be onto something there. I've been having dreams of lions a lot lately and a lion represents your personal power and can also represent in a womans dream symbolizing her male aspect of her psyche.

Lately, when I meditate, I feel my energy rise up through to my crown but I feel a lot of pressure on the left side of my head. It's almost like there is a block from the energy fulling embracing this side of my head. It can take a while before the energy fully pushes through and then out the crown.

I read somewhere in here (I think it was on the "12 symptoms of enlightenment) about how our left brains begin to get more use as we open back up.

So it's very possible that seeing as my female psyche may need extra coaxing, the pentacle pushes it a bit. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'll have to look into the difference between our female and male psyches.

Thanks for your thought!! Very much appreciated.

[interbaoui]

http://www.jadedragon.com/articles/union.html

hope this helps as well

[pharmaclid]

Hello Crystaldanika. I had a similar experience as you. I'm not sure if its the same or different, but it sounds like the same feeling.

After all of this, I also shut down for a year, but when I re-awakened, bam!

Anyway, my pentacle is my conflicting feelings towards telekinesis. The last month or so I have been intensely drawn to it, but my absolute devotion to God makes me feel almost guilty about indulging such practices. There is nothing in the Bible saying, "Thou shalt not move objects with the mind," in fact it is quite the opposite [i.e. Elijah lifting the axe-head with the power of God]. Nevertheless, the normal people that have no concept of what we have gone through, what we have seen, and what we are capable of try to convince us that we are abominations, and that we should pretend to be normal even when we are in the privacy of our own homes.

Indeed, they are erecting statues of those that their fore-fathers murdered. Because the seers are capable of speaking with God, and the people are afraid of the things that they are saying. So, they murder them to shut them up, then honor them because they were beloved by God, only to further oppress God's chosen seers.

For you, the pentacle represents a breaking free from that oppresion. Liberation. For me, the art of telekinesis represents secrets that have been hiden for a long time, which I have a burning need to know.

Witch or not a witch, I have the Light of God burning through me and around me, so much so that who I am supercedes mere labels and bigotry. How am I to change that which I perceive, when God Himself takes me by the hand and says, "Open your eyes, perceive the Truth."

[doksSirmAdods]

Hello from a Witch

I have been so for about 21 years now. (wow time flies) lol pun intended.

yes it is VERY normal to have energy when wearing a pentacle or jewelry when you have been a witch before. Yes, my dear, you have been one in many past lives, just as I was.

I was also raised Christian and my mother and people still look at me oddly when I wear mine. (tuck it in your shirt).

This is a crossroads. To follow your "ego raised mind" or your "Spiritual Soul". We all go through this Pause before we come to this place of decision.

To me wearing my pentacle reminds me of putting on my superwoman outfit lol. You feel empowered, positive and just full of life!

Any questions are welcome. Blessed Be Sister, it is a long road we have traveled, but you are not alone.



Laura

Pagan Medium

[Agitoligflise]

This is interesting... ever since my spiritual path begun I felt/saw a star and I researched it and I felt it was the star of David. I was so drawn to it that when I was ordering my crystals online I happened to order a rose quartz in the shape of the star. When I got my package I received a large/huge one instead of the one I ordered. There was a note saying that they had upgraded the star of David rose quartz for me. Why??

Life is full of wonderful mysteries.... it's a blessing for those you get to solve a part of it.


Crystaldanika, you have alot of energies surrounding you... thank you for sharing your story. We all learn from each other here.

[Lolita Palmer]

Wow.

Thanks to all of you for your responses; Sophia, Dark Sun, Pagan Medium, and Star Light. I have something to comment from each statement you have all made and I've done it below. And of course thanks again to Leeslight who I've already responded to.

Sophia, I am definently going to check out that website and once I do, I'll relay back anything to this thread that I may feel I have questions or just want to state. Thank you. I'll check it out tonight.

Dark Sun: you said, Witch or not a witch, I have the Light of God burning through me and around me, so much so that who I am supercedes mere labels and bigotry. How am I to change that which I perceive, when God Himself takes me by the hand and says, "Open your eyes, perceive the Truth." From the sounds of your message to me, you are on somewhat on the same jyst of path I am on. I am forevor seeking truth. That truth I found to be led by God. I refuse to believe what has not been shown to me......... With that being said, I'm quite greatful that God gave me the ability to be a seeker to begin with, otherwise I'd be like the millions of others who walk with blind faith and believe only what others tell them. Hmmfff. .......... I'd like to talk with you about your path sometime. It seems we have faced some of the same obstacles. In fact I read one of your posts on another thread, (forgive me, I forget which one) and it closely resignated with obstacles I have recently faced.... take care.

Starlight: What type of energies???????????????? I hope they are good. :O

Pagan Medium: I resonded to you on the next message post.

[Lolita Palmer]

Any questions are welcome. Blessed Be Sister, it is a long road we have traveled, but you are not alone.



Laura

Pagan Medium

Hi Laura, Yes! I have many, many questions. So many questions. You may have just opened a can of worms. lol. No, I really won't bombard you. I so wish I had a mentor.

What was it like when you came to your crossroad; when you realized that you were in fact a witch and chose to follow your path? You see, I struggle with my spirituality and the connotation that witches has been tought to me. The funny thing is that I've never found a witch to be associated that awfully in mind. (until something recent and i've commented on that below) I've been surrounded by Wiccans most my life and it never failed that upon running into a "witch", they would eventually ask me if I was one. (no, not all wiccans are witches, nor witches, wiccan, i know.)

I always wondered why I "attracted" them and I often got hit with their "electrical tests" and so would ensue a spiritual, goofy war per say as I'd send them bulting back until finally one of us would speak up. I never called them out on it until about a week ago, a witch that had moved in across the hallway from me said to me, "Would you effin stop it!!"

I said, "What?"

She said, "Testing me. Knock it off. How long do we have to play."

I said, "You started it. I just mirrored it."

She said, "Honey, I didn't start it. You did it to me the first day we met and you keep on doing it. I've just been doing it back to you!"

This was the first time I realized that I wasn't actually attracting witches to me, I was picking on them, therefore calling their attention to me! lmao!!! This is just one of the little "natural" instincts I have and so from there, her and I had a discussion as to what the heck I was doing and then I had to start paying attention to what I was doing. I noticed that I did it instictively when I came upon another enlightened being. Woops!

Can you guess what problems may ensue or have ensued when I'm doing things I don't even realize I'm doing?! It can be problamatic. This is another main reason I'm starting to look into witchcraft even if I never call myself a witch because I can't keep walking through life doing things and not knowing what I'm realing doing. I can't keep ignoring my possible, almost quite obvious past. The only reason I fathom I've been trying to bypass it is because of my childhood upbringing. The last thing I wanted to do was go to hell. But then I think to myself, "Why would I go to hell (if Hell exists) if I'm doing what I was born with? That would make no since..)


So.......... "Laura"......... I'm obviously something............ And I hate pinning a title on myself.... I don't know if it's that or if it's my religious contradictions (even though I know I'm not religious anymore at all) or: Heres another big one: If it's due to my inner struggle with the context that the term "Witch" can be so representative of so many types of practitioners. I've had a horrible situation occur with a cult of black arts witches out here. Because of this, the back of mind confuses my being a nature witch or spiritual practictioner with the pain and manipulative connotations of my past. ( I actually almost completely gave up everything I knew and joined this clan. ... Oh God, that is a long, horrible story, we won't go there right now.) It was quite devestating. I'm happy to say I returned back to the lighter side of things and strive to excel in high spirit, not lower. I never practiced though with this Clan. I want to make that clear. - How does one realize that I am nothing like this group I got pulled into (or really, that I allowed myself to mingle with. I take responsibility for everything in my life) How do I find that peace within myself that I can still continue on my own path even if it has been linked with witchcraft all my life and not resognate within my own mind as it being close to this evil I came face to face with..

You see how confused I am?

I'm very confused.


And just as FYI: God/Jesus has played a massive role in my return and back to where I stand today. He really, truly did save my life. I was destined to die last year and I have no doubts about it in my mind at all. I'm listening to God, I'm receiving what is handed to me and I'm embracing the return of gifts with open arms......... and yet, I still find myself so torn and confused over what I tell you above.... oh blah.


Thanks Laura.

[Lolita Palmer]

Laura, I just read my post to you and I truly hope I didn't confuse you and everyone else.

If any part of it didn't make since,just ask me to clarify. I'll understand.

[Lolita Palmer]

http://www.jadedragon.com/articles/union.html

hope this helps as well

Thank you Sophia for this. Do you know if this is a practice that can be started at any time in ones spiritual growth or should it be done following anything?

Just curious.

[Agitoligflise]

It must have been a huge sigh of relief for you after venting out.... there are some very gifted individuals here ... hope you get the answers your looking for .

The energy I spoke about before has to be good as I didn't pick up on anything negative.... I feel they are all around you to help to find yourself