[abubycera]

Hi.. first off, I want to say that I really like this site and I think there are some really great people on it. I really hope someone can help me here.

Atm, I'm facing a really difficult time in my life. I'm studying in Aus atm, and will be finishing my studies soon. I've been here for 4 weeks after a really long 6 month break at home. Since I got here my heart has been so sad. I miss my home, family and my cat so much I'm always thinking of them. When I was at home, I felt a peace I never knew. I know my soul is not happy here and longs to be at home with people (and cat) that I love. I cry in my sleep at night, which tells me I am really hurting and in turmoil.
My future looks so uncertain right now because I don't know if I will end up staying here and working and being with my Aus bf of 3 years, or going home soon where my heart is happy, but may end up losing my bf. I love him so much, and I may be willing to live here for a few years to keep my relationship with him.

I am in pain and fear all the time. I'm so scared of being alone and on my own all the time. It's not getting easier being away from home, and the agony of not knowing what will happen to me and what my future holds is eating away at my heart. I am also having trouble with my studies and immigration. I pray all the time, distract myself as much as possible and get glimpses of peace, but the agony comes back soon after and I end up crying and crying bucketloads. How can I make my heart happy again and my soul free from this pain? Please help.

[steerryGritly]

I was in a similar situation to you when I moved to England. I never realised how much I would miss my family, especially my baby brother. It was really hardfor a while and when I go back for a visit and then leave it gets hard all over again.
You will miss them but as long as you hae some sort of contact it will get better. Talk on the phone as much as possible and on the internet. It will get easier. You may decide to go back to them, but you can't force yourself to make a decision. You haven't been there long by the sounds of it. You will soon adjust and then you won't feel as emotional and it will be easier for you to make a decision.

Hope you start feeling happier soon!

[id2008]

I think you already know the answer, to all your fears and worries and pain....., If you don't make a choice now, it will effect your life and long term.

Just be honest with yourself, and listen to your heart, you know what they say??? Theres no place like............!

Blessings

[abubycera]

Wow.. those are quite conflicting posts, well not conflicting really.. they just have conflicting consequences.

Thank you so much OoMABoO and leeslight. I have been studying here for 5 years now. Before the 6 month break that I spent at home, I never had anything like this (I used to fly back and forth a few times a year), but in the last 3 months a lot of things have changed for me personally. 4 weeks isn't a long time, but I have the feeling that I will always have this yearning to be at home now.

I know the decision will come in time, and whatever happens will be God's will (in fact i'm not sure if I will even have to make a decision. I feel like I'm being herded towards something that I'm meant to do). I'm just looking for a way now to settle my heart and my soul so that I can be at peace once more.

My thoughts, head and emotions feel contaminated and polluted. When I was writing the post I felt completely incoherent. I try meditating but my emotions overwhelm everything. I'm full of doubts, sadness, pain and fear. My strength seems to have deserted me and I get angry at myself for being so weak. I'm wondering if something is disturbing me because I've never come across this before. I think I'm in need of some major cleansing and purification, though I'm not sure how to go about this...

[steerryGritly]

I think you're right about cleansing. You need to cleanse and then hopefully you can relax a little.
I think you always know deep down what you want or what you need. I always felt like I had to be here, even since I was a child, so I told myself that I had to move away from my parents sometime, I just went a bit further than people normally do. It'll come in time but if you forec the decision you might regret it.
Try and think of all the positives, you have apartner and a family who both love you. You get to go back and visit your family and they'll always be there for you if you decide to go back.
I remember in the height of my feeling down, I met someone from Latvia who was here to work to send money home to her family. The cultures were completly different an English wasnt her first language. She told me shecouldnt go home, not yet anyways.
I felt lucky that I had the choice and that my language was the same and my culture, although different, was similar.
In time you might decide to stay but you know you always have the choice to go back.

[Abnorbprootly]

Wow.. those are quite conflicting posts, well not conflicting really.. they just have conflicting consequences.

Thank you so much OoMABoO and leeslight. I have been studying here for 5 years now. Before the 6 month break that I spent at home, I never had anything like this (I used to fly back and forth a few times a year), but in the last 3 months a lot of things have changed for me personally. 4 weeks isn't a long time, but I have the feeling that I will always have this yearning to be at home now.

I know the decision will come in time, and whatever happens will be God's will (in fact i'm not sure if I will even have to make a decision. I feel like I'm being herded towards something that I'm meant to do). I'm just looking for a way now to settle my heart and my soul so that I can be at peace once more.

My thoughts, head and emotions feel contaminated and polluted. When I was writing the post I felt completely incoherent. I try meditating but my emotions overwhelm everything. I'm full of doubts, sadness, pain and fear. My strength seems to have deserted me and I get angry at myself for being so weak. I'm wondering if something is disturbing me because I've never come across this before. I think I'm in need of some major cleansing and purification, though I'm not sure how to go about this...

How many times have you called on your guides for help? Sounds like you need some support. This is a lesson you are meant to learn. Lessons can be hard but do not need to cause you such pain. Call on them - they are waiting and cannot help unless asked to. Also you can call on the ArchAngels anytime. It is their job to serve you. Serving you serves God. It may be time for Divine support!

Hugs Laura

[abubycera]

Thanks again OoMABoO. I'm really glad someone understands how I feel. And you're right, home will always be there and I can always make the choice to go back if I end up staying here. That's a big comfort to me. So right now, I'm making a resolution to try and not force anything, to just accept the things that come my way, and to stay positive.

You're right Pagan Medium, I really needed some divine support. During meditation yesterday I called on some help and got a clear answer on what I needed to do to feel better.. Today is the best I've felt in a really long time. So thank you both very much.

[Abnorbprootly]

That is what we are all here for. To be your support when you feel at a loss.

Glad to be of service

Hugs and Light

Laura