[M_Marked]

Hello! My name is Kate. I'm pleased to have found this site.
I've been trying to get back on track in life, but I believe I am still WAY off. I am in a horrible situation (of course I know I got myself into it somehow, but how I'll fix it I do not know). I know I'm new here and everyone is quite busy, but if there is anyone who might find both the time and heart, I feel really lost and would appreciate some imput.
I had a baby a year ago, and it seems that the daddy doesn't care. He said all kinds of things one way or the other, but we don't speak now. I cannot drive because I am legally blind (I see a lot but certainly cannot drive) and i am also hearing impaired. It is not so easy to make friends or put a life together for my daughter and myself. I am broke broke broke ecxept for the 450 a month i'm getting from social security and now live with my father who is a dying addict. I have no friends and feel too estranged to be able to approach anyone without cowering in my grandiose insecurity. I am trying to sort out social services so I can get help with child care cost and get some kind of job and hopefully move out with my daughter. I feel awfully depressed as the only interactions I have are with my parents, and they are often very unhealthy and/or unpleasant interactions, and I have no siblings. I suppose the father never loved me after all, as he is still doing whatever he likes, living in his mom's basement. I'm sorry for whining online. i know I am being selfish and it is not becoming of me. Anyhow. I would like to move out, but do not when or how i will manage, and feel guilty about my fther. Maybe somebody with a knack for it can explain what the problem is with my baby's dad and why he doesn't seem to care? And what else I should be doing that I'm missing? And how can i be a better mother? And how much longer until my dad dies? ... I know I need to get my head out of the sand and take care of business and help others more, but maybe somebody could give me an inpartial hint. Maybe "Spirit" can't tell me what to do, but I'm baffled.

[Sliliashdes]

Welcome kate, im sorry to hear about your situation, but to have a wonderful child is your blessing.

I cant offer any particular message to you, other than please hang around on the forum, let people get to know you and you can get to know them.

If you dont get the answers you need, which im sure you will, then at least you have made some friends.

You can try starting a blog,if you like, you can let us know what is, and has been happening in your life, and people can reply to you and offer thier helping hand in the one place.


Insecurity is fear, and i dont think you should have anything to fear, not here anyway, no-one is going to judge you, people here will support you and hold your hand if your having a bad day.

so a big warm welcome to you Kate

[vforvandetta]

It's lovely meeting you. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

This may sound selfish but try and focus on only yourself and your daughter right now. Find any resources out there that could help you. Contact your local human resources center and see if there is something they can help you with.

Right now It's best your focus needs to remain on you and your child. You are a wonderful mom, and like all parents wether in a relationship or single will get back on their feet. Something great is awaiting you, you may not be able to grasp what that is right now, but in time you will overcome all these obstacles and find your true happiness.

Love and blessings hun

[M_Marked]

THank you both for responding. I suppose I'm a little embarrassed at posting that.. Anyhow, I think I've got it under control. Thank you again for the kind feedback.

[M_Marked]

Alright, maybe I don't have it under control, but I am working on it. Though I am definitely trying to take more responsibility and take positive action in the ways I know I should, I would still appreciate feedback. Again, thank you Yinepu and Canstruggler for your responses.

[JacksHH]

Hi Kate,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your unfortunate situations. But there are 2 ways to approach it mentally, 1 is a negative attitude and the other a postitive attitude. Now you have a baby that is a blessing from God you will be in this situation for a short time but not forever because you do have a positive attitude and you do want to help yourself and your little baby.

The babies father unfortunately is missing out on this precious time in your young babies life and unfortunately you cannot get these times back again no matter how hard you try.

Your dad has live the life he has chosen to live but unfortunately those around him have been made to suffer, and when he does pass on he will be very remorseful for the life he has chosen. But all you can do is be there for him and try to give him as much love as you can before he passes on to spirit. I feel that your life is on hold a bit and I suppose it will be until your dads passing. But I feel your dad wants to go now he is ready.

Let me know how you get on

Love and Light Louise

[M_Marked]

Hi Kate,

I'm so very sorry to hear about your unfortunate situations. But there are 2 ways to approach it mentally, 1 is a negative attitude and the other a postitive attitude. Now you have a baby that is a blessing from God you will be in this situation for a short time but not forever because you do have a positive attitude and you do want to help yourself and your little baby.

The babies father unfortunately is missing out on this precious time in your young babies life and unfortunately you cannot get these times back again no matter how hard you try.

Your dad has live the life he has chosen to live but unfortunately those around him have been made to suffer, and when he does pass on he will be very remorseful for the life he has chosen. But all you can do is be there for him and try to give him as much love as you can before he passes on to spirit. I feel that your life is on hold a bit and I suppose it will be until your dads passing. But I feel your dad wants to go now he is ready.

Let me know how you get on

Love and Light Louise

Thank you very much for taking the time to respond to me. You are right on about the positivity, and i appreciate the reminder. Yes, it seems that the medical care he needs is not forthcoming... and we fear that he will not make it until the details can be sorted out, as he is in great pain. I have been doing my best to re-center myself every night before I sleep, so I can be my best for myself and my family. I have begun doing a little energy work in meditation for those around me and plan to devote more attention to my father when i focus in this way this evening and in the nights to come. I am also sending the energy to my daughter- after all she has been in the middle of this year. Thank you for taking the time to write me that message. I really appreciate it!

[yovbQVpD]

You've gotten some great advice. Don't focus on the dad right now until you and your child are independant and doing well.

Welcome to the forum. I know you'll find this place helpful and encouraging, there are some great people on here.

Remember to keep smiling, things will get better.

[JacksHH]

Hi Kslav,

Your a good girl and you deserve the best for you and your child and it will come just wait a little longer and you will recieve what the both of you deserve.

Love and Light Louise

[BritneySpearsFun@@@]

When you reach up and you ask for guidance and help,it is always given. Be still and quiet,so that you can hear it.

Reading your posts is glimpsing the whirl wind of emotions and thoughts in your head. You are focusing on everything and everybody else,you run from you.

You have a problem which you sent out of control by taking responsibility for your childs dad,and your own father.

Take a deep breath. Wether you understand why your childs dad is acting the way he is,or not,it will not change his behaviour. Feeling guilty and responsible,will not change his behaviour. The same for your own father. His choices,life and situations are his. Your childs father is responsible for himself. Your father is responsible for himself. And you are responsible for you.

So now come back and focus on this. Your life,habbits,actions,perceptions is something you can change. Only you. Your the centre. So balance yourself here. You fail because you cant change other ppl,and thats what you have been trying to do. That isnt where the answers lie. The answers are in you.

Put your father and your childs father out of your mind for now. We will sort them later. For now,you must build a healthy foundation to live from. For that,you have to focus on you.

Write a priority list. Simple steps,that you can tick off as you do them. Social services,your own home,a job. That is your priority,your focus. Something you will achieve as you gather your scattered energy,and focus on it.

Maybe every day have a small goal,like making a phone call,to help this along. Achieving these lil goals daily,will encourage and perk you up.

You do not have to feel afraid,lonley and vunerable. You are watched,loved and protected. You ''see'',and they are asking now that you calm and focus,so that you see and feel their love and support around you.

All challenge is for growth. You are the pheonix rising. All you have to do is stop turning in circles,and walk out.

Your gifts are meant to comfort all that will turn to you. Start,by being still,allow yourself,comfort. When you are balanced,happy and still. Then your reality will reflect this. Chaos in the mind,will lead a to chaotic reality. You are the foundation. When you are right,within yourself,your path will begin to unfold again,and ppl will come to you.

You angels gently urge you to clear and heal your mind and heart,by sharing everything with them,and writting it down.
You will never be alone. You are loved,and protected.

Guardian.

[Dwerfsd]

I know it's hard. Life often hands us so much and we think we can't handle it, but it always seems to work out for the best. You'll see, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to focus on that light and take it one step at a time. Hang in there and God bless.

[M_Marked]

When you reach up and you ask for guidance and help,it is always given. Be still and quiet,so that you can hear it.

Reading your posts is glimpsing the whirl wind of emotions and thoughts in your head. You are focusing on everything and everybody else,you run from you.

You have a problem which you sent out of control by taking responsibility for your childs dad,and your own father.

Take a deep breath. Wether you understand why your childs dad is acting the way he is,or not,it will not change his behaviour. Feeling guilty and responsible,will not change his behaviour. The same for your own father. His choices,life and situations are his. Your childs father is responsible for himself. Your father is responsible for himself. And you are responsible for you.

So now come back and focus on this. Your life,habbits,actions,perceptions is something you can change. Only you. Your the centre. So balance yourself here. You fail because you cant change other ppl,and thats what you have been trying to do. That isnt where the answers lie. The answers are in you.

Put your father and your childs father out of your mind for now. We will sort them later. For now,you must build a healthy foundation to live from. For that,you have to focus on you.

Write a priority list. Simple steps,that you can tick off as you do them. Social services,your own home,a job. That is your priority,your focus. Something you will achieve as you gather your scattered energy,and focus on it.

Maybe every day have a small goal,like making a phone call,to help this along. Achieving these lil goals daily,will encourage and perk you up.

You do not have to feel afraid,lonley and vunerable. You are watched,loved and protected. You ''see'',and they are asking now that you calm and focus,so that you see and feel their love and support around you.

All challenge is for growth. You are the pheonix rising. All you have to do is stop turning in circles,and walk out.

Your gifts are meant to comfort all that will turn to you. Start,by being still,allow yourself,comfort. When you are balanced,happy and still. Then your reality will reflect this. Chaos in the mind,will lead a to chaotic reality. You are the foundation. When you are right,within yourself,your path will begin to unfold again,and ppl will come to you.

You angels gently urge you to clear and heal your mind and heart,by sharing everything with them,and writting it down.
You will never be alone. You are loved,and protected.

Guardian.

Thank you so much, Guardian, for your long and thoughtful response. This is not the first time I've been told to try to do one thing, such as make a phone call, every day. ... I think I'll have to really begin moving forward more purposefully and deliberately. I am in the process of replacing my social security card and id, which is a nightmare... but once it's worked out I'll be able to receive those social services.

The thing is I do feel guilty because my father is in such pain I feel leaving his house would really hurt him when he's probably going to die soon anyway, and maybe he needs my help?... i think maybe i should wait... but then i dread how long it might be, and feel that is quite bad since i should be wishing him well. Then I wonder if he needs me to leave so that he can die, so I am not sure what is best

Anyhow, thank you very much for extending your support. I will take your advice- work toward goals, and calm my mind. I think that you are right and I need to still myself enough to really receive support and guidance. I will practice tonight before I get to bed. Your feedback is truly wonderful and it has made me feel much more peaceful. It is very helpful to me in sorting out my feelings to begin building that foundation you speak of. i know you are right about that. I have begun making a real effort to balance myself just over this past week or so, and I am already seeing changes in my experience. I know to keep at it, and the results will be clearer and brighter.

Thanks, I needed to hear that stuff.

[M_Marked]

I know it's hard. Life often hands us so much and we think we can't handle it, but it always seems to work out for the best. You'll see, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to focus on that light and take it one step at a time. Hang in there and God bless.

Thank you!