[oxinsnepe]

Wonderful responses and suggestions--Thank you so much...

[sbrpkkl]

You're welcome Rosesforlove,
You deserve better, and you will receive it. Plant these thoughts in your mind.

[Ambrakam]

You're welcome Rosesforlove,
You deserve better, and you will receive it. Plant these thoughts in your mind.

You deserve better, and you will recieve it.
Plant these thoughts in your mind.


Hi Kzaar, thought i would quote and repeat, for rosesforlove, so she could use your words as a mantra. Beautiful words Kzaar.

Hi Rosesforlove, see how much support you have here? good luck we are all behind you.


You deserve better, and you will recieve it.
Plant these thoughts in your mind.
You deserve better, and you will recieve it.
Plant these thoughts in your mind.

[oxinsnepe]

I have another urgent question--

I recently posted about my ex who left me after three years.

I had been living in a small, artistic and spiritual community where I had a lot of social support through my kind-hearted friends. But due to the abuse and trauma I was experiencing with my boyfriend there, I ended up moving.

One of the many things I thought my ex and I shared was a deep appreciation for spiritual ideals and pathways.

My ex cheated on me twice, perhaps even more, and this last time he totally cut me out of his life via an email. I haven't heard from him in a month, but the last thing he wrote to me explained that he was becoming recognised as a healer, and that he had met part of his soul group at an angel healing meeting. It stung to hear him praise the women there for having "amazing energy"--while he just a few days earlier called me up and told me I was a b****

He also told me that he was writing a book about higher consciousness, and that he was preparing a talk about soulmates at the local metaphysical library.

I sometimes hear from one of his friends that he is getting more well-known in the community, making all kinds of connections with people there.

I am feeling tremendous pain on several different levels.

One of the most painful things for me is that I lost so much of my social support because he was unable to tolerate my having friends, and also because I made the decision to move in order to get away from the abuse.

My life has become increasingly isolated, and I feel really scared and "gun-shy" when it comes to talking to people. My trust has been so shattered, and I feel afraid to go outside.

When I hear about how rich and busy his life is, I feel a stab of pain, feeling that he is rejoicing that I am gone from his life, and also feeling that he is somehow rewarded by the universe, despite inflicting so much pain on me.

Is there any sort of justice in the universe? I feel like he has escaped any remorse or reflection, and I don't know how to cope with the feelings of pain and loss that are tearing into my heart.

How can someone who is abusive get so many accolades? I feel like I am the only one who knows about who he is, and I have to carry this heavy burden in my life...while he goes about with no wounds, no repurcussions, just getting more fame, more praise.

So much of my soul feels damaged--I don't know what to do, how to deal with the pain, and how to understand why he is healed and I am not--

Can anyone help me understand?

[Ambrakam]

Hey Rosesforlove,

This sort of problem you are faced with is FANTASTIC! i am so happy for you.

Yes i did read your post, let me explain.

This ex is doing to others what he did with you. So now you dont need to feel so worthless. He is baffling them with b.lls..t. He is feeding off thier energy of needing to be wanted.

Trust me he has no spiritual healing, what he has, is the power of peoples belief in it!

You and all of us, must be vigilient in discerning truth. The spiritual path is for many, just a belief in some higher power and that we are not alone. Yet we still follow the OLD path of if i pray, if i believe, all will work out the way i want, WRONG!!!


When we connect with spirit, it must be done by first, clearing out all our old emotional rubbish, ( even rubbish i thought i was done with re-surfaced and boy, did the tears and anger come flooding out)

As i have mentioned before, in another post, its kinda like swimming in a muddy turbulent ocean, vs swimming in a crystal clear lake.

Spirit works with us and through us when we are clear of muck.

People enjoy thier ego being stroked, he is probably making everyone feel so good about themselves with words, not healing. These people will soon see him for what he is. Its called lifting the viel.

This is the transition we are in now, the viel on the earth is being lifted and the darker energys, cannot hide any more. Thats why he ran from you, you have the inner light that started to grow. If your sitting in a dark room and some-one switches on a light, your going to cover your eyes to keep it out, right?

Well he is darkness and he doesnt like light, he will follow others who have a little darkness in them, thats where he feels comfortable, but alas the light will switch on within them and again he will have to run. Its quite funny actually.

Get in contact with your old friends, at least ONE you can TRUST. Let them know how vunerable he made you and accept responsibilty in the fact that you gave him your power also. You might find that if they are of any value, they will tell you the truth, and i truly feel this guy is still lying about his accomplishments.

I read alot of this guy
www.kryon.com

Read the Channelings, its really beautiful stuff, and will help you, and challenge you in your beliefs, in GOD. He says for example, God is all loving and all forgiving, but we have free-will and he will not interfere. Therefore, all the good on earth comes from being human, and all the evil also comes from being a human.

Pretty interesting stuff, basically the buck stops with us, we have to change and strive to be a better person.

Hope this helps.

Lotsa love and light to you

Now get off the computer, put your lippy on, grab a girlfriend and have FUN.

[oxinsnepe]

HI again Yinepu,

Your insight is so refreshing. I had failed to approach it from a more spiritual angle--I wa so busy looking at things psychologically, and focusing on turning the pain inward, blaming myself, that I neglected to believe in myself, to trust myself and my friends.

It makes perfect sense that if he could dazzle me with his beautiful words, why would he do anything different with those around him? The same could go for his abusive treatment of me.......I don't think I would be the only one to receive the abuse?

And it also makes sense that he would choose to be around the darker energies--The first girl he slept with was "handed over to him" (so to speak) by a guy he met at the metaphysical library--He told my ex that he should take her out, even though he knew that my ex was involved with me.....Even after he came back to me, and I asked him to stop talking with this man (who told my ex he was a sex/heroin addict) he still associated with him and just recently got an apartment from him)

That really stung--But I can see why he still chooses to be around him. Like you said, it's the darker energies.

I used to feel that the town he is living in now--had the potential to have a lot of good, or a lot bad parading around as good. There were people there who claimed to be light workers, but who lived a lifestyle contrary to what they preached. In many ways, it was disllusioning for me. I didn't like the pretentiousness I sometimes felt with the people there--but I did meet some very lovely, genuine souls there.

It seems my ex, though, has preferred to stay in the darker realm--Which is unfortunate, because he does have a lot of talent in writing. But his ego has become so massive since moving to that town--I used to feel like I had created a monster by introducing him to that town....I feel saddened that his shy demeanour is now replaced by such a huge, unfeeling ego.

When he used to call me, his voice would be very soft and gentle. When I spoke to him a few months ago, his voice had a sharp note of arrogance in it, and he thought dropping famous names and bragging about his accomplishments would impress me. It just wounded me even more---

He used to say I was precious and the most important and beautiful thing in his life.

I thank you for all of your support and insight, for gently steering me back toward a spiritual perspective...For reminding me how spirit truly works, and for encouraging me to be gentle on myself.

I am so happy that I know you now, and that you are a gift of love to me during this very dark time.

My psychic did say that she could see my ex becoming increasingly dark and ugly inside, a vampire....I shuddered when I heard that, but maybe she is seeing some of the truth about his situation.

I lament his fall from innocence, lament that he abused me and turned away from me, but I pray that all of this pain can be cleansed out of me so I can have more room in my soul to draw in beautiful, light and gentle people and experiences.

Love always......

[sbrpkkl]

Hi Rosesforlove,

I agree with Yinepu. Your ex sounds like he has some major (ego) control issues going on. I know it may not feel like it, but you are actually lucky that you have broken up with him. Abuse will destroy your soul (and your body) if you allow it.

The hardest part is letting go mentally and emotionally. He is not in your life physically, but he is still right there with you in your mind and heart. This is where you need to let go. I have had a similar experience myself, and I know how hard it is to detatch, but this is what you must do. I used affirmations, positive self-talk, reiki, focusing intention, meditation, cord cutting visualizations etc,etc, you name it, I tried it... but none of it seemed to help. About 2 weeks ago, I wrote and recorded for myself, a subliminal tape (hypnosis), and it seemed to work wonders. The key in this tape were the words "I am in charge of my life. I take control of my life. I refuse to give my personal power away." I also included suggestions that I accepted my boyfriend as being an expression of the divine and that I respected and accepted him as he is (warts and all). My boyfriend is a control freak, and I used to feel like his victim. I needed to rid myself of the victim mentality, and my tape worked really well here (along with all the other things I listed trying). It is alot of hard (mental) work, but it is worth every ounce of energy.

Try not to foucs on how hurt or cheated you feel. Every time you think about the pain, you will summon more of the same. Shift your focus. It is the same as exercizing muscles in the gym... you have to do the work to get the results.

I wish you all the best with this.